To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

You’re so tetchy!

I just asked whether he was aware that you’d spent best part of the weekend discussing your relationship with him

The Op asked “is it strange?”

presumably the women asking for recipe ideas wasn’t asking if something was “strange”?

Well, you didn’t ask that.

What? So you didn’t like me saying “tapping away on your phone”? Is that the particular issue? Because the question is identical

I’m guessing he doesn’t know that your weekend on mumsnet has been discussing your relationship with him.

It was just a question op!

How have you missed the point I’m making ???
My Point being , you ask a simple question on this, & you are met with snipy aggressive answers back , like with the OPS question here , when there is no need for it …

But that depends on the question

so someone asking for recipe ideas…. Odd to post about anything other than recipe suggestions

someone asking whether something as personal as a relationship is “strange”?… well there will be such a range of options and god forbid anyone actually say… yeah I do think it’s a bit strange.

but the overriding consensus is 🤷‍♀️ each to their own.

I think Nevertea is just a troll. Bless her.

A troll is someone that makes stuff up? That was my understanding?

I don’t say it much, actions speak far louder than words! The couples I know who are saying it in public (and via social media) never last long!

That’s another thing you have wrong then.

Is 27 years long in your scheme of things?

I do use social media but I think I can count on one hand how many posts were tagged in together. But then I don’t understand wishing your kids, parents etc happy birthday and telling them how much they love them on social media when they’re not even on it to see the post.

I think some couples probably just like being performative but there has been occasions where friends have confided that they are having relationship trouble and I’ve been shocked because they look so happy online.

My parents never told me or my sister that they loved us
Me and dh would say that we loved each other several times a day.
Married 31 years...he died at the begining of April. The last words he spoke to me were " I love you too ".
I wish so much that I could still tell him

Don't leave it too late OP..you might regret it

..

Yes, you’d imagine a question looking for recipe ideas would be met with only just that, but nope
Lots of ones giving out about OPS husband
Ridiculous !

and she found it mind blowing.

How did you respond?

My parents also never say it but it is shown/implied all day everyday. I think the first time I actually said those words to them was when I was getting into the car leaving our wedding!!

I don’t say it all the time to dh - just having it as something you say at the end of every conversation just devalues it imo. But I do tell dh quite often and he always looks slightly amazed and, rather sweetly, chuffed to bits so I would highly recommend it!!

Something like ‘really? It can’t be that uncommon’.

and what was her response? How did it all end up? Her accepting that whilst it was “mind blowing” to her, it was no big deal to you? Or… left a bit tense?!

That’s cute 🩷☺️

The OP is the one being snippy and aggressive.

She's angry because posters dare to stray slightly beyond her "is it strange we don't say I love you" question to encompass the status of her relationship. But without knowing the status of her relationship it's hard to judge whether it's strange or not that they don't say I love you.

There's no point posting on aibu unless you're willing to be told you're being a bit unreasonable or that people disagree with you.

In fact plenty of posters have actually agreed with the OP so it's not like she's been inundated with criticism. There's no need for her to be rude.

No no, not tense at all. It was a friendly conversation.

I’m surprised on the basis of this thread tbh

I don’t mind people asking questions, although some of them are stupid.

I do mind being told I don’t love him and we’re just friends with benefits. It is those posters who are rude and don't deserve polite responses.

It was only a five minute conversation. It just got me wondering if it was common or not.