Husband's sibling booking daughter's christening on my birthday, AIBU to be annoyed?

[OneZingyKhakiSnake]

Ideally we would like to actually go out for the day somewhere for my birthday as we have young children ourselves. Its not until autumn, the child is going to be nearly 2. Church and function afterwards. They are not religious in any way.

I think you’re being unreasonable to expect your in laws to take your birthday into account, if they’ve even remembered that it’s the same date, but I also don’t understand why they are having their child christened if they are not religious.

Agree with @TY78910

Most likely they had no idea it was your birthday. And as other posters have pointed out there may be limited slots at their church and they picked a date far enough in the future so family members have a decent lead time to arrange their calendars to attend.

Christenings happen in the morning and likely they'll have a small reception after. So, by 1pm you can leave and attend a late lunch at 2pm and celebrate with DH and your kids.

Or you could wrangle the grandparents into babysitting and leave to have lunch with DH and swing by to pick up the kids who would have had a fun afternoon with grandparents.

Be gracious and enjoy your day with family. Happy birthday in advance OP!

Yeah my first thought was whether they’d definitely have even remembered your birthday was that day!

It’s comments like this that make me annoyed MN took away the laughing emoji react.

im book marking this in my head to use in future 😂😂😂

Why would she think it matters? You are an adult, aren't you?

The date would have been offered as a suggestion by the church and I bet the sibling, if they remembered that it was your birthday, would have just thought that it would be a lovely thing for you to do on that day. The chances are it didn’t even occur to them when they were making the arrangements. I arranged my husband’s funeral and only afterwards realised it was my daughter’s birthday. She was grown up about it and told me not worry about it.

Some adults do. One of my colleagues (we cover each other's duties) was offended because I dared to schedule my vacation days during her birthday/her wedding anniversary/her daughter's graduation etc etc. I just blinked at her because it was so ridiculous. Does she expect me to remember the important dates in her life? (Spoiler: her main character energy is really strong)

Of course you shouldn’t go & neither should your husband or any of the family. Go NC. Have a big party for you on the day with jelly & ice cream at a soft play. 🙄

It really would not be an issue for me. If it was a big birthday fair enough. I guess I wouldn’t even consider not having it on that date if it suited due to a relatives bday. So I don’t think they were unreasonable. If you don’t go as it’s your bday, well I guess they have to suck it up, especially if you want to go away etc. I’d celebrate my bday the weekend after and go to the christening, but bdays don’t mean a lot to me, I usually just go to work.

Fair play to you, you took it on the chin!

Unless it’s a big one I wouldn’t be bothered. But then my sister booked her wedding on my 40th birthday and I got over it

YANBU, but just don't go as you already have your own plans. They don't have to plan their time around your celebrations but you don't have to do so as well.

Caring about your own birthday doesn't automatically make you the main character (you collegue would still be one, though). It's just that you don't plan your own celebrations aroud others' and they do the same, and if any of you wants the other to be there, you say so and see if people are available. There is nothing wrong with celebrating birthdays, I'd say OP isn't being unreasonable here unless she was being nasty to that family.

Are you 7?

Are you annoyed because you didn't expect them to plan the christening on your birthday or is it because you'd possibly need to cancel your plans? If it's the former, then YABU. If it's the latter, then YANBU. Just say you have something else lined up and can't attend/can only drop in for a quick second.

Are you 12 years old?

I doubt my husband’s brother could tell you when my birthday is and likewise my siblings wouldn’t know what date is my husband birthday fell on. You can still do something in the evening. I take it you’re not going to be the godmother.

There We Are Then

😂(I miss the "laugh" reaction on Mumsnet)

This is a perfect idea. Joking aside, well done OP for accepting your faults 👏

You sound like a spoilt child.

I think it’s fine, just celebrate on another day. My husband and son had tickets to a concert this year (only day son’s fave band were playing in UK) so we all went out the day after. Really no big deal.

Our eldest was christened on Christmas Eve. If people weren’t happy about it we didn’t know - the turn out was great and it was a a lovely time

😂😂

dependent on church it can be very hard to get a christening date. Maybe this was one of a few dates left this year that they could do?

Unless there’s a huge backstory I doubt she thought “it’s OPs birthday on 19th October - let’s do it then!”

My sister was offered 3 dates for the christening. They couldn't do 1, so ranked the others 1 & 2. They got 2nd choice. It was our niece's 4th birthday. DB, DSIL & DN didn't go. My parents did go, and so missed DNs birthday. It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't done on purpose.