Am I on the autistic scale

[Prescila1982]

Hi, has anyone on here been diagnosed as an adult as being autistic or on the autistic scale, not sure the correct term.

I've never had much interest in having friends or interacting that much with people. I have a few friends but dont have a close relationship with anyone. Dont think I've ever been in love either. I'm 43 this year. Dont feel I understand people. Feel different and an outsider all the time. Very shy and quiet.

I watch the same tv programs all the time. Rewatch the same programs or films all the time rather than anything new. Dont have any particular interests or hobbies but like order and being organised. Have weird sort of OCD tendencies to touch certain fabrics or surfaces that have a certain feel and will do it regularly like a compulsion if I see the fabric or surface.

I know some of this could be autistic traits but could also just be 43 years of being "alone" and just situational more than anything. Does this sound familiar to anyone who had an adult diagnosis? I wasnt sure whether to bother the doctor with this as you always hear about services being stretched.

MN perhaps not the correct place to post but a range of issues seem to get discussed on this website. Thank you.

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

Try this quiz. Good indication

Honestly Op you will a wide range of opinions here, but really you do need to see your gp and ask to go on an autism assessment pathway. A word of warning, the waiting list could be years long. But your gp can also talk you through the right to choose option.

Also think about what you want from a diagnosis. That on its own doesn't really come with a support package. What are you looking for that a diagnosis can help you with? It's fine if you are looking to make sense of things through a diagnosis, but it's not going to automatically change your life.

If you don't want to bother the doctor, what are you hoping to get out of a possible diagnosis?

Yes I think it might be to make sense of things but if it comes back I'm not on the scale I might feel worse as it means I'm just weird.

I wasnt sure if anyone else had similar doubts before they got a diagnosis. Did you worry you were being silly, that your traits werent serious enough. Has anyone went for a diagnosis and not been on the scale, how did they feel?

You’re not very social
you enjoy watching reruns

op, on the basis of this, no

Do you work?

See your GP, enquire about Right to Chose. I was diagnosed recently as an adult and it is comforting

I was diagnosed in my forties, not something I ever expected to be honest, but it has helped me to understand my life a lot better, and helped me feel more justified in looking after myself (rather than berating myself for why I find some things difficult that everyone else seems to find easy)

My assessor discussed the criteria and threshold a lot with me. She was clear that the primary issue has to be social, ie persistent difficulties with relationships, friendships understanding situations etc, and it has to have been an issue since childhood. Other criteria - sensory needs, fixed routine, repetitive behaviours etc - can be present in addition, and there's a certain number for it to be the diagnostic criteria, but it's possible to say, have sensory needs and not be autistic, there has to be the social and communication aspect.

I always thought I was just a bit introverted and awkward. However there are some areas of my life that I've progressed really well in (eg academically) and others that I can't seem to progress at all (eg small talk in work if someone says something unexpected, meaning I'm pretty rubbish at networking) Knowing I'm autistic has helped me accept that rather than trying to force myself to 'learn' something that is nigh on impossible (for me personally)

Thanks. Just based on that it did say I had asperger's traits but of course that's just one test. Thank you. There are some traits I definitely dont have like remembering numbers and dates!

Thats helpful thank you. Were you waiting a long time to speak to someone? Was it a build up of concerns that made you finally think about getting a test?

Yes full time

Agree the AQ is a good inducator. I’m autistic and my score is 44.

What kind of work? You enjoy? Colleagues?

Just office services for a local accounting firm. Cant say I particularly enjoy it. There are a couple of people that work there that I enjoy seeing so that's good.

I was only 30 on the link above.

Autism is a lifelong condition - you can't develop it in later life or acquire it as a result of life experiences (although it's often masked especially in women/girls) so the most important thing they look at for diagnosis is whether the social difficulties were present from early childhood, did you have speech delay, problems with early education etc?

They will want to speak to your parents or other caregiver from when you were a baby/young child as that gives a better idea of whether problems were present from birth or acquired in later life (which would rule out autism)

Peoples experiences of diagnosis in adulthood is mixed - some people it gives a sense of understanding of childhood experiences & understanding of current problems but I think there is probably a lot of inaccurate diagnosis in adults as it's very difficult to assess how the person was as a very young child when you are relying on memory. There are so many personality characteristics & acquired problems such as personality disorders that can overlap.

In some cases I think it prevents people from moving on from current difficulties.

I was 30 when I got my diagnosis but had very clear & well documented difficulties from a young age eg had very little speech until 4 years old.

@Prescila1982 I hadn't sought an assessment because I had concerns as such, however I had been working for a number of years with young people with significant mental health needs, some of whom seemed to get worse, rather than better, with any inpatient stays or therapeutic intervention. It was around the time that autism in women and girls was started to get some recognition and I ended up advocating for them to consider if they had been misdiagnosed. Quite a few ended up being diagnosed autistic or AuDHD.
In researching it, I had a lot of 'but doesn't everyone think like that/do that' moments... However there were certain things that I was sure ruled me out; everyone I'd known with autism would have difficulties with regulating emotions, outbursts/meltdowns, etc. However I was only seeing people with autism that was 'challenging' to others (if they weren't, they'd never have come to the attention of our service)

I found myself identifying a lot with the people I was working with and wanted to rule it out as I thought I was a bit like the 'worried well'. I had no option in my area for an NHS assessment though, they simply didn't offer assessments to adults (justification was if it hadn't been 'severe' enough to diagnose in childhood that it couldn't be serious enough to warrant diagnosis) Hence going private, expecting to be ruled out at the first step, but ending up going through the whole thing and being diagnosed.

Probably the most helpful thing for me was understanding that the alternative to the meltdowns I referred to above were shutdowns. I thought I'd experienced depression/anxiety and meds never helped, I also thought I was at times cold, unkind, unfeeling. Instead I have very limited ability to recognise my own feelings, and I tend to shut down when I'm overwhelmed - I become almost eerily calm. I do have feelings but I experience them more academically almost, and understanding that I react 'differently' rather than 'wrong' has really helped me.

On this, maybe traits but not enough to meet a diagnosis level?
I score 47 and I'm late diagnosed

Yes this is why I have doubts as I wonder if its always just been shyness. I haven't asked my mum but I will. I suspect she will just say I was very shy. I guess if I get tested and I'm not on the scale I can rule that out in my head and tell myself I'm just weird. If I'm on the scale then I can say well that's maybe why things are the way they are for certain aspects of my life. I dont sleep well so I probably spend too much time thinking about everything.

@Serencwtch there are ways of assessing without speaking to parents. There was no one who could provide that for me (single parent who had passed long before)

Also many women & girls go under the radar because they don't have obvious development issues. I was a late talker but presumed to be shy, I was academically able. A lot of the issues I had weren't visible to others - I would stim, but only on my own because I was told off sharply for it, I was constantly watching and trying to understand other people, I ruminated and researched about the simplest things. Eg I avoided ever going to a restaurant until I was in my twenties because not knowing how they 'worked' (where to sit, when to eat etc) terrified me. But no one would have known that!

I’m late diagnosed autistic. To meet the criteria you have to have had traits present in childhood, and been impacted by the traits, as well as meeting all the criteria. How was your childhood and life at school?

I scored 42, I don't think I'm autistic, I'm just a bit introverted and like my own company. The fact I have a crap imagination has little impact on my adult life.
For some people, a diagnosis is the final piece of their puzzle, it can be helpful in helping someone understand why they feel a certain way. Not everyone meets criteria, but that doesn't mean you may not have social communication differences which impact your daily life.

That's interesting and some of what you say resonates with me. Is it normal to not understand feelings, to not understand other people, to shut down and not feel things that other people seem to have fairly strong feelings over. I dont know if I'm capable of feeling love towards another person- is it normal to question that? Is it actually a good thing that I'm questioning it?

I scored 28 and both brother and son have Asperger’s

Yes that's a lot how I am. I try my best to act normal and hide things.