Am I on the autistic scale

[Prescila1982]

Hi, has anyone on here been diagnosed as an adult as being autistic or on the autistic scale, not sure the correct term.

I've never had much interest in having friends or interacting that much with people. I have a few friends but dont have a close relationship with anyone. Dont think I've ever been in love either. I'm 43 this year. Dont feel I understand people. Feel different and an outsider all the time. Very shy and quiet.

I watch the same tv programs all the time. Rewatch the same programs or films all the time rather than anything new. Dont have any particular interests or hobbies but like order and being organised. Have weird sort of OCD tendencies to touch certain fabrics or surfaces that have a certain feel and will do it regularly like a compulsion if I see the fabric or surface.

I know some of this could be autistic traits but could also just be 43 years of being "alone" and just situational more than anything. Does this sound familiar to anyone who had an adult diagnosis? I wasnt sure whether to bother the doctor with this as you always hear about services being stretched.

MN perhaps not the correct place to post but a range of issues seem to get discussed on this website. Thank you.

Unofficially, yes.

Interesting. I scored 41. I have never been diagnosed, but I have Cerebral Palsy so it could be a co morbidity.

@faerietales Can I be cheeky and ask if you have even taken the AQ-10 test and what score you got? I’m not seeking to undermine your diagnosis, I’m just curious.

I was referred earlier in the year - my medical notes have me down as “extremely likely to have autism” and all my treatment is designed as though I am autistic. My GP is an autism specialist but can’t give me an official diagnosis as he isn’t a psychiatrist.

I am also in therapy with someone who specialises in late-diagnosed autism.

Yes, I got 10/10 and am currently sat on the waiting list. I actually got my referral letter through a couple of weeks ago.

Thanks @faerietales . That’s a pretty strong indicator by itself!

@Clickjaw yes, mean and judgey. You have inferred that there's no point to a diagnosis and that people are unhappy because of failing to take action. It's a complete lack of understanding of what it is like to be autistic. Id suggest you go do some research instead of picking at people in this thread. You come across as someone who thinks autism is being over diagnosed, which is a common trope on Mumsnet.

Yep! I’ve done variety of online tests over the years (all my dads side of the family are neurodivergent) and have always scored very highly on all.

My dad himself was late-diagnosed so it’s likely I wasn’t picked up earlier as he just thought my behaviour was normal (it’s not 😂)

The MN attitude to autism in general is incredibly depressing IMO - so many NT people sat behind screens talking about things they genuinely have no concept of.

@faerietales yes, or thinking about the impact. A PP mentioned about the impact of peri and menopause. If you go back a generation or two, it was common for women to have breakdowns and quietly be sent away (to institutions) in their forties, suicide rates at that age also peak for women. A friend of mine is doing research in this area and she really thinks a lot of it could be undiagnosed autistic women. She's AuDHD, her mum died by suicide and though she'll never know, she strongly suspects her mum could have been the same.
Menopause is of course hard for any women, but to someone with undiagnosed ND who was just about coping, it can really tip them over the edge.

Hi OP - I’m on the waiting list to be diagnosed and you should absolutely go and speak to your GP if you feel you may be ND. Contrary to what MN will have you believe, there is a surprising amount of support out there if you look for it.

Thanks for describing your experience. Since diagnosis, have you had any support with executive functioning? Have you been able to put systems in place to improve things? I struggle massively with this although no one would be able to tell from meeting or working with me.

I'm awaiting assessment but mine only really came when I realised my middle child has ADHD (diagnosed) and my eldest has autism 100% (undiagnosed awaiting assessment) the more I look into it all the more I recognise myself in it all. I scored 47 I believe on the autism thing that you scored 30 on. So highly likely I am autistic but also extremely probable that I'm ADHD as well

Can you please describe how ADHD medication was helpful for you?x

SEN teacher here. When I did my Autism training back in 2008, it had a much narrower definition. Asperger’s Syndrome was linked to Autism but at the same time was somewhat different. The ‘Extreme Male Brain’ theory had not long been introduced by Simon Baron Cohen, but he did not mean biologically male necessarily. There was an acceptance that “we are all on the Autistic spectrum somewhere”, and that would mean most people had Autism traits to a greater or lesser extent. On my course we were encouraged to identify and embrace our own ‘autistic traits’. But this in no way constituted an ASD diagnosis. Really, it was intended to somewhat serve as a bridge to communication and understanding with Autistic individuals.

Many, many people still subscribe to this view. But time has marched on and it now seems to be controversial.

I think it depends how you want to view yourself. I can certainly identify with a lot of what you are identifying in myself, and also that feeling of being ‘weird’. But the reasons why people can be outsiders vary and can have a lot to do with childhood experiences and how we learned to view them, way back when.

Look for the positives in yourself as well and remember that we are all different, based on our upbringings, that introversion is ‘normal’, and that even introversion is viewed as a spectrum these days. A lot of what we experience in life is beyond our control and how we frame it is key. And nobody has more right over how we frame it but ourselves.

Getting a diagnosis made a difference for me eg in your situation where you are hiding the fact you rewatch the same programmes over and over as you are embarrassed - you might decide so what -it doesn’t matter , and just tell people you watch things over and over when it comes up in conversation - you’ll probably find others doing the same - and if they don’t like it or think you’re weird -who cares!!!
Its what you like and makes you happy.
Somehow it helps you accept who you are imv

@EasierToWalkAway i would say the spectrum as you describe it, is controversial because it minimises the experience of being autistic. It is also part of the rhetoric that viewed the severity of autism from the perspective of how problematic it was for other people, not for the individual. Eg whether their behaviour was 'challenging' and if they needed support from others to behave in a way deemed socially acceptable. The distinction made between 'aspergers' and autism was linked to that, with Asperger's seen as people with autism who could 'function' and were often academically capable.

Any illness or disability could in some respect be considered a spectrum - we all suffer pain and illness at times, yet it would seem odd to say to someone with MS that we're all on the MS spectrum because we all lose our balance sometimes, or to someone who is profoundly deaf that we've all had trouble hearing something clearly at times. It might have been well intentioned but that doesn't mean it was good practice.

For a lot of autistic people there is a strong need for certainty and evidence, the idea of being able to just 'decide for ourselves' how we frame our experiences doesn't feel comfortable. I was really surprised how much difference having an expert diagnose me meant - and even with that I've still continued to research and reflect as I doubt and question whether the evidence is robust enough.

43 on the AQ test and 161 on rads.
I have no diagnosis.

“all my treatment is designed as though I am autistic”

Can I ask what this means? I’ve not had this.

I don't dispute, but the OP seemed to think either that they are autistic or that they are weird. If they are found not to be autistic that doesn't mean that they are weird and perhaps there are other explanations they should take into account. That is what I was trying to say perhaps in a round about way.

Ah ok, tbf I thought I was 'just weird' at the time I sought an assessment, but by then I was used to it enough that I had stopped thinking of it as a negative!

I try my best in my life. That's why I'm thinking of professional advice.

Thank you that's encouraging. I've always felt like I have what I call a mental disability. That's just how it feels.

I have not considered autism assessment to better understand myself but in relation to how the medical profession relate to me. I don’t respond/behave as expected. I am either mute (literally can’t speak) when in pain myself (cue eye rolling) or pragmatic and unemotional eg when my DC need assistance. Either I am overwhelmed or don’t know how to behave in a way that is considered appropriate. It’s pretty obvious and confusing for staff and awful for me. Sometimes I think I should pursue diagnosis so there was an explanation of why my reactions are different to the norm. Especially as I age.

"the kicker is that I have no visual imagination. I cannot see anything in my head if that makes sense. "

This interests me a lot. I've posted about 'aphantasia' before, which is "part of the range of neural diversity. Some people think in pictures and some don’t.”

I think I have it but it's hard to test for. Here's a useful article: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/26/what-is-aphantasia-like Does this match your own experience?