Am I on the autistic scale

[Prescila1982]

Hi, has anyone on here been diagnosed as an adult as being autistic or on the autistic scale, not sure the correct term.

I've never had much interest in having friends or interacting that much with people. I have a few friends but dont have a close relationship with anyone. Dont think I've ever been in love either. I'm 43 this year. Dont feel I understand people. Feel different and an outsider all the time. Very shy and quiet.

I watch the same tv programs all the time. Rewatch the same programs or films all the time rather than anything new. Dont have any particular interests or hobbies but like order and being organised. Have weird sort of OCD tendencies to touch certain fabrics or surfaces that have a certain feel and will do it regularly like a compulsion if I see the fabric or surface.

I know some of this could be autistic traits but could also just be 43 years of being "alone" and just situational more than anything. Does this sound familiar to anyone who had an adult diagnosis? I wasnt sure whether to bother the doctor with this as you always hear about services being stretched.

MN perhaps not the correct place to post but a range of issues seem to get discussed on this website. Thank you.

@Prescila1982 the reason I ended up in my line of work is because I am cool in a crisis (I don't react if someone threatens violence for example) and because I understand people very well. however it's is thinking it through in logical way, pattern recognition, not 'gut instinct'. My assessor told me my line of work was the end result of me studying people all my life. I can get to the same end result as my colleagues, but how I get there is very different.

Everyone's level of emotional literacy varies, that it itself doesn't mean someone is autistic. But it's when there's odd gaps that it's worth thinking about. Nowadays I'm pretty good at dealing with upset people. But I do remember consciously watching and mimicing and practicing when I was younger. And if someone asks me how I feel about something, most the time I don't know. I have to think it through - I don't like when people do X and that happened today so im probably a bit on edge without noticing. It's unusual that there are some areas that socially/emotionally I'm very good at, and others where I'm as competent as a young child, despite really, really working on it!

At home my childhood was great. School was fine until around age 12, but I just wanted to be at home. I used to pretend to be sick a lot to be able to stay home. Never any issues learning.

Sounds like you have worked very hard and put the effort in. Yes one advantage is being cool in a crisis.

@Prescila1982 having met many other late diagnosed women I think a common theme is trying to 'fit in' or find ways around our deficits - genuinely don't think men are conditioned in the same way, and I do wonder if that's one of the reasons men were diagnosed, because many just make their feelings obvious, or expect people to adjust to them!

Yes I wonder that too.

I always wanted to hang around with boys when I was younger as they were usually doing things at breaks (like mucking about with a football as an example) but girls seemed to do more standing around talking which I hated and was rubbish at, still am of course.

https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

My daughter is diagnosed autistic, she used this one before her assessment, scored in the 170s.

I've done it too as, in her words, "you act autistic sometimes". I definitely have traits, not sure if it would be enough to be a diagnosis of autism or 'just' social anxiety disorder. I don't struggle with executive functioning like she does.

The sensory avoiding/seeking isn't part of the autistic diagnostic criteria, and can be a separate diagnosis made by an occupational therapist rather than a psychologist.

Do you have any friends?

what is your relationship with your family like?

I was 50 when I was diagnosed, and I share some of your traits. My assessment was fine in 2 parts; first with a psychologist, second with an occupational therapist. I didn't need input from others, I think due to my age.

I would recommend having a chat with your GP. They can do a referral. NHS waiting lists are long, so if you can afford to go private, do.

It's very common to have the doubts you have pre diagnosis. I lead an employee resource group for neurodivergent people in work and this has been a very common theme.

Asperger's syndrome is no longer a diagnostic term due to the connection with Hans Asperger being involved in eugenics for the Nazis. It's now autism levels 1-4 depending on severity of traits. What was Asperger's is now classed as level 1.

My diagnosis explained so much to me, and then an ADHD diagnosis a couple of years later explained the rest. It's completely changed my self image of thinking I was just weird and a bit shit at life. I stopped trying to fit in and became happy in my own skin. It's really good to know who I am and be content with that, rather than trying to be what I thought was expected of me.

I definitely have traits. I talked to my GP about getting a diagnosis, and he said he wasn't keen on labelling everyone, and he didn't think I was, because I could look him in the eye, but if I wanted a referral he would. I decided that I wouldn't because my main reason was because of a situation with my manager and how I related to others, and I thought, if I was officially autistic, he couldn't say that. But then I thought, he should be accepting that we don't all behave the same anyway, and in our role (unix sys admins - a natural home for the neuro diverse,) he needed to be accepting that many of us are socially challenged. I think there was probably a fair bit of sexism, too - a colleague whose attitude to others was such that some people refused to work with him, "oh well, that's just the way he is, you just need to accept it." But me, the only woman in the team (so I don't fit in anyway,) I can't just be the way I am, sometimes being a bit blunt? (We no longer work together.)

So - what do you want to get out of it? My GP pointed out that if I did get a diagnosis, I clearly didn't need practical support in living, as his worst autistic patients did. It might help me understand the world and how I relate to it, so it could help me in that way, but ultimately, it wouldn't change anything for me. If it would be helpful to you, then go for it, but as you say, it might make you feel worse if they decide you're not, so that's something to think about.

OP, the test is only a starting or guiding point. I wouldn't worry about the score. DC2 has just been diagnosed with ADHD despite scoring below the threshold on some of the tests.

From what you are saying, it sounds worth pursuing an autism diagnosis. I got one in my 50s and found it a big relief.

GPs annoy me so much when they say that people can’t be autistic because they give eye contact 🙈

@IShouldNotCoco yes, they forget to ask 'when you do make eye contact, do you find it physically painful? Do you focus on someone's nose to give the appearance of eye contact? Do you feel relieved when you meet someone who also seems to avoid eye contact? Do you accidentally stare at people too long because you're thinking about making good eye contact?'

@WhatsitWiggle that's a good point about sensory seeking. I think my assessor discussed it in the context of repetitive behaviours.

Your GP is being an arse and giving a personal, not professional opinion. Say yes to the referral. They're not the experts, they're the gateway to assessment.

Thank you I was 130 on that one which seemed in the middle. I did find a lot of the questions quite hard to answer. I tended to lean more towards answering them in the way that went against being autistic as they only applied to me sometimes whereas the question seemed to ask if it was something all the time.

If it's any consolation I score low on a lot of the tick box type questions, and it turned out I was taking the question too literally or struggling to answer as I felt it didn't give enough context.

I really think they should be re-worded by an autistic person!

Thank you and good to hear it benefited you 😊

I watch the same tv programs all the time. Rewatch the same programs or films all the time rather than anything new.

I do this too, diagnosed with Aspergers (or what is now known as autism) at 23. I needed this to stay in my job, and fortunately the union paid for a private diagnostic with a psychologist.

I realised I might have ASD from reading a thread on Mumsnet. I've always been almost incredibly untidy and it turned out I might have something called executive dysfunction. So I took photos of my kitchen and bedroom and took them to show my GP.

In person I come across as very together so my doctor's reaction to the photos was striking. He referred me immediately and I had my first appointment within a month. I was seen for an hour every week for 10 weeks. We worked on different angles every week.

On the day I got my diagnosis I met half a dozen mates in the pub (we do a quiz). I told them I now knew why i was so weird. They asked lots of questions and then, at the end of the evening, i looked round the table and said I'd noticed that no one had said that I wasn't weird. Because I am.

I've found it very helpful to have the diagnosis. I have ASD and dyspraxia. I don't have some of the classic symptoms - no problems with eye contact, for example, or closeness. But my executive dysfunction has been a lifelong source of shame and frustration and now I understand myself.

@Ebearhug yes I think it's the not knowing. Am I level 1 or just weird and socially awkward. It would be a bit of closure on my wondering. Wont actually change anything in my life. Wont change how I am.

Can I ask- do you know why you do this?

Do you ever find yourself listening to someone speak and then they ask you a question or expect you to reply but your brain is too busy thinking so many different things about what they said or it lead your brain down an alleyway that you dont reply quick enough and then you realise they are waiting for an answer and you realise you have been a bit like a statue not speaking or reacting 😆

Probably

We all are

It's a spectrum, so includes everyone!

@Prescila1982 I think you should push for assessment. Have you tried Right to Choose? I did my RTC with Psychiatry-UK. I submitted the letter to my GP in August and was assessed in January.

@coxesorangepippin that's inaccurate, and considered quite offensive

The autistic spectrum describes the spectrum of people who have autism, which is a very varied experience.

People who aren't autistic, aren't on the autistic spectrum.

Thank you for the advice, I just looked into it and I'm in Scotland where it's not currently available. I do need to see my GP soon about something else and I might raise it if I dont chicken out.