Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

[Kittycat02]

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

You know what, I am actually going to reply to your nonsense properly.

I said ‘you should’ this is clearly just my opinion…I didn’t say ‘you must’ which would imply it is a requirement.

you saying ‘you can’ is a statement of fact…totally different to what I said which was opinion (which was not written as fact)

Is this your first day on the internet? I can’t imagine not accepting people giving an opinion on a public forum. An insane, random, nonsensical reply to my message.

You are the reason we still need a laughing emoji - you must be fun at parties

An interesting difference of opinion on "should". Sounds clearly to me that you think saying anything before 12 weeks is wrong. Quite a lot stronger than just saying what you personally prefer to do.

Glad I've given you something to get disproportionately cross about. It all passes the time.

We really do need the laughing emoji back. I'd have used it for your bizarre level of rage

So true!!

Let them have their day. There’s actually been posts on MN about this very same situation, but from the bride to be, who has been annoyed that a friend/ family member has announced a big occasion in the lead up to their wedding.

So if a close family member told you they were pregnant in the two weeks before your wedding day, it would have spoiled your day? Either you are actually very precious, or you were not happy on your wedding day. Which applies to you?

To be honest I wouldn’t be telling anyone until much further along.
also it’s your brothers wedding let him have his special day and wait until you’ve had your 12 week scan. A lot can change until that scan as you’re so early

You should wait. Don't take the shine off the wedding.

I hate the “you should wait until 12 weeks” type of comments.

It makes woman feel like they can’t tell people beforehand. There is no right or wrong. You can absolutely tell friends or family before 12 weeks if you

1. have had previous losses and want extra support
2. are just really excited and want to tell others
3. have anxiety and need people to talk to about your pregnancy other than your partner
4. just because you want too

I had a loss at 10 weeks and guess what… next time I got pregnant I told family at 4 weeks (I know shock horror) because I knew I would need the support.

Yes the miscarriage risks are a lot higher before 12 weeks but unfortunately there is no safe zone, and every pregnancy matters no matter the gestation. People shouldn’t have to hide it if they don’t want too.

Depends on the family member, if it was my brother then he has form for managing to turn every event into his circus. Particularly if it was an unusually early announcement. If it were my sister, then I would just think she was to excited to keep it in.

There is only one thing that is bizarre here.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed your snack, I’m done with feeding today though. Have a good one

So wedding will be when she's 10 weeks, if they honeymoon straight after they may be back when she's around 13 weeks depending on gap. When are people planning on her telling them?

Does she need to wait a few weeks after they get back to avoid stealing the honeymoon spotlight?

Unless she plans on not telling them until she's nearly 20 weeks she's going to have to tell people close to the proximity of the wedding or wedding affiliated events, and if she did that they'd likely be pretty hurt at not knowing until then!

If she tells them now at 8 weeks it will be old news by time of the wedding.

Trolls. Fun at parties.

Any other MN cliches you wish to trot out as you have no better arguments? There are still some you haven’t used!

Yeah I 💯 get that, when I was pregnant I told people as soon as I knew, didn’t even occur to me not to. But I do think that waiting until the first scan to share to people outside of close family is probably the more sensible thing, you protect yourself from risk of upset and having to explain to everyone what has happened at a time when you are probably already heartbroken.

It is nice when people post their first scan on their announcement too though, I always enjoy that

You realise most antibiotics don't ban alcohol with them now. Honestly if you say youre not drinking because youre on antibiotics you'd be as well wearing an IM PREGNANT t-shirt. That excuse wll fool noone these days

Yes this. If I was getting married I wouldn't be bothered in slightest if a family member announced a pregnancy around that date. As long as they weren't interrupting the marriage vows or the speeches for the announcement then who cares!

You should wait, you'll only be 10 weeks anyway

Don’t, just wait until you’re 12 weeks which will be after the wedding and no one can accuse you of stealing anyone’s thunder.

I wouldn’t care if I was the bride and you told people now but to save anxiety it might just be wise to tell your brother and his soon to be wife now and see how they feel. I’m sure they won’t care at all

Just wait until the 12 week scan.

People will only notice you are not drinking if you make a big deal out of not drinking.

I’m with you. If it was my wedding, I would just be happy for the OP!

Imagine not being able to tell your mum you were pregnant because it would somehow ruin your brother’s wedding.