DD unwell, had to take a day off, works reaction..

[Raincloud997]

I am a single parent and have limited childcare. My DD is in reception and was unwell today so couldn't go back in to school today after the half term. I had to ring up. My manager sounded very annoyed on the phone and said they have other staff off too, said she is struggling for cover and that I really must try and make it in tomorrow and that someone else will have to look after my DD. She also sighed before putting down the phone. I don't have a lot of time off at all, this is the first time its happened and my contract states they allow for emergency parental leave but her reaction has got me worried and I don't think I have childcare for tomorrow if she is no better by morning. What would ou do?

You should get emergency childcare in place with local babysitters. I imagine that the time of work is for true emergency situations involving operations and hospitals.

Nobody i know would ever ever just hire a random never met before babysitter

Let alone for a sick young child and for an 8 hour first job!

all these suggestions to find a babysitter (likely a stranger as the OP has no support network to fall back on) for a sick child. I mean do people really do this? esp when the child is ill???

Exactly this. WTF would you expect someone (including grandparents) to take care of your sick child and most likely get sick themselves? Not to mention the psychological cost to the child of being abandoned and left in the care of a stranger while ill. Makes no sense whatsoever.

A sick child is not comparable to an emergency like an unexpected accident or hospital stay. 90% of the time, a sick child has something disgusting that is highly infectious and unpleasant to deal with. The child is also grumpy, in pain, requires medication and not easy to take care of. I would not expect anyone else to do this as a favour for me just so I can go to work.

Exactly!

Let’s be charitable and imagine she didn’t intend to sigh. She’s had several people already call in sick by the sounds of it - she might have thought she’d already hung up.

OP - is your child’s father around? The burden ought to be shared with him if at all possible.

If not, they’ll have to allow parental leave.

What is annoying as a manager is when a child’s father is self employed so “can’t” - well yes they can - they’re in fact more able to they just don’t want to. And it’s always the dad who’s SE! Not saying that you but in general.

I'd love to know where people live that there are local babysitters available at the drop of a hat.

I think people posting those suggestions don't actually have children.

No one would leave their young, sick child with a random babysitter. Mine never had a babysitter fully stop (youngest could barely cope with other adults).

I used to used my paid parental leave for holidays and keep my annual leave and unpaid parental leave for the dc's sick days. It's very hard for a few years.

What's the big thing about sighing? I'm totally lost there

well said

If a child is too sick for school they shouldn't be passed to someone outside of the household for childcare either. If you have a contract there is nothing your employer could do about you needing to be off work with your sick child, I'd be reminding them of the policy they have in place.

Our expectation is that you take emergency parental leave for one day and make arrangements for the next day. You cannot expect to take endless days of parental leave. Why can't your daughter go to school? If it's just a cold, there is no reason at all.

You’re not a professional babysitter, then. You’re a neighbour doing a favour. Not everyone has that to hand. I never did.

I think parental leave needs to be taken a week at a time.

You only get a set amount of parental leave per child per year.

@smallhaircut - Who honestly hires a babysitter when their child is unwell?

This is disgustingly judgemental; you can't honestly think that no parent works when children get unwell, so this just judges mothers (because it is usually mothers right!?) for not having a local support network. Newsflash - some people do need to attend their jobs to go to a critical meeting, or they need to go into work to keep key deliveries moving, or they can't afford the unpaid leave, or the child has chronic illness so the parent runs out of leave options. Or they can work from home but need childcare so they can attend meetings while the little one is properly looked after. Not all roles can have someone else just fill in.

If a child is seriously unwell in hospital, any of us should expect (more than just hope) to find lots of sympathy, support and HR trying to help with leave. Expecting the same level of support for every 5yo's mild cough won't fly, you're genuinely expected to make other arrangements. Not vaccinating for chickenpox and then expecting 3 weeks paid leave definitely won't work. It's your choice what those arrangements are, but working out your own contingency plans is part of being a parent. If that means getting a babysitter then that's what some people have to do.

Ideally yes. And should be booked in advance. However, employers can agree to short notice and short term parental leave at their discretion.

They can't deny you dependents leave though which is often unpaid and you can take dependents leave for non-serious illness ie. D&V not just hospitalisations or bodily injury. It must be reasonable and proportionate though.

What arrangements can be made if there’s no family around? Apart from trying to book a random last minute babysitter who might not even be available or willing to look after a sick child.

Ah sorry OP that's rough.
You're doing the right thing, and all you can do on the circumstances. I had someone make a really passive aggressive comment re parental leave recently...but they have a partner and retired grandparents to help. So of course they needed to use it less than others. Some people just aren't aware of their privileges.

How about meeting the babysitter in advance - simple. Single parents need to have a system of childcare organised otherwise they’ll be out of a job.

If the company cannot cope for a few days without OP without going bust, then its not a very good business anyways.

I remember being told on a forum that I shouldn’t need childcare for my 11 year old in the 6 weeks holidays when I worked miles away. Some people have no idea of reality.
OP take care of your daughter- work will sort itself out.

Babysitter?! Wtf?! Magic up a random stranger in the hour you have between DC waking unwell and the time you’d normally leave for school and then leave your sick child with them… What a ridiculous suggestion.

OP you’re a single parent with little support and unfortunately it is what it is. If DC can possibly make it into school then send them. If they are too unwell to get out of bed or it would under the school absence e.g. vomiting in the last 24 hours then you have to stay home to care for them. I’d hope today was a one off, your boss was stressed and took it out on you, which shouldn’t have happened but hopefully it won’t happen again. If it does then I’d raise with HR because it isn’t fair.

The comments on here are bizarre?! Get a random emergency babysitter for a sick child? That’s ridiculous.

I also had to call my manager last night as my little one can’t go to nursery today, she’s unwell too. No problem at all, have taken a Lieu day, hand anything desperate over. No drama. Sorted. That’s how it should be managed, not being made to feel guilty.