DD unwell, had to take a day off, works reaction..

[Raincloud997]

I am a single parent and have limited childcare. My DD is in reception and was unwell today so couldn't go back in to school today after the half term. I had to ring up. My manager sounded very annoyed on the phone and said they have other staff off too, said she is struggling for cover and that I really must try and make it in tomorrow and that someone else will have to look after my DD. She also sighed before putting down the phone. I don't have a lot of time off at all, this is the first time its happened and my contract states they allow for emergency parental leave but her reaction has got me worried and I don't think I have childcare for tomorrow if she is no better by morning. What would ou do?

Completely agree. It’s crazy that everyone assumes everyone has family to help out. My mum died when my son was 4 weeks old, we have no family near where we live. Not everyone lives near sisters, brothers, cousins and parents, and even if they did they most likely work too!

This sounds terrible and doesn’t align to their policies and family friendly brand. Not cool

If a childminder or nursery won't take an unwell child, there's no way a random babysitter will.
But OP, at some point you will need to find a back up plan because schools are only open tor 39 weeks out of 52, they have odd inset days, your dd will need other days off, so while you are fine to take today and your manager is inappropriately expressing frustration, you will need some kind of back up childcare.

Completely agree. I also thought there would be a lot more empathy and understanding on here. Does everyone who uses Mumsnet not have to be a parent as some of these posts are so out of touch that they seem to be from
people who are not even parents

I hope you are not a manager with all those ill informed nonsense you are coming out with. Legally, one is allowed 'reasonable' time off. People can are what reasonable is but it's not a few hours. Nice you mention statutory rights. These also extend to the employee! Just saying ;-)

annual leave are options she can discuss, but the manager in this case indicated aren't ideal.

Having a sick child isn’t ideal either, but such is life. Some people really don’t have swathes of people able to look after their sick child - you could give me a week to find someone and I still wouldn’t be able to conjure up someone prepared and able to look after my child if they were sick. Thankfully my employer understands this.

1. Babysitter suggestions are daft.
2. Manager was probably very stressed. Its all very well criticising but we don't know how critical her staffing was (NICU? No staff today....yes she'd be very stressed)
3. Go to HR if you wish to ramp up the situation and cause everyone a lot more stress.

HR policies are meant for an ivory tower of lots of staff and understanding. Your manager is human. Workers who take unplanned leave are difficult to manage if your workplace is very dependent and staffing is very tight. Many places are like this. However you are entitled to time off, you need time off so don't feel guilty and know it is just an unfortunate set of circumstances. I hope your child is better soon.

Its easier to get someone in to cover work then someone to cover a sick child. Literally what supply agencies are for.

Don’t worry Op. Take the time off and ge confident in your choice. Any complaints and you can raise the unprofessional comments and sighing.

Managers like this are why people end up fibbing and pretending it’s them that’s sick rather than their kid. 🤷‍♀️.

How will the stranger become “known”, how like is it that they’d always be available whenever the child is sick?
Most likely it would be a different babysitter each time.

@Wherehavetheyallgone How would employers know it was day two? Surely once one person had got caught out, everyone would sensibly not mention a Wednesday evening sickness and call in Thursday saying “Yup, day one”.

OP, your manager is a bad manager: she’s getting paid the manager salary to keep that sigh away from you and to be the one who figures out the plan when multiple members of staff are off. There are workplaces who are more understanding of child illnesses - I’ve had two children at home with successive illnesses for two weeks, full flex to work around them being there and to pick up my work (task-based not time-based) where and when I can. Even when that’s not been possible, there’s been understanding.

Honestly just don’t give it a second thought.
your child is ill and you need to look after her.
it is not your responsibility that your employer does not have enough staff to cover.
its your managers.
she is paid to manage so let her sigh away

u Used to absolutely dread having to ring in when my kids were younger and unwell. Kids need to be in their own home if ill and you will need to take time off. Most jobs have a limited amount of paid carers leave. If your boss is tricky check if they have this snd if not all you can do is offer to take it as annual or unpaid leave
on the other side of the coin there are some people who don’t realise paid carers leave is limited- my husband is a deputy head and they are having to remind staff of this as they have a nightmare trying to staff with teachers taking a lot of parental leave (eg both parents being home with an ill child) but they accept if your child is ill a parent needs to take time off
I think all employers probably are fed up when staff ring up to say they can’t come in but most just cover it up on the call
itvis just one of those things - try not to stress to much

I've stated her statutory rights, because some on here mistake their own business's child friendly policies for law and risk misdirecting OP. Please do check what I've said against gov.uk, solicitor sites etc, "make other childcare arrangements" features throughout.

It's tricky, of course. Many of us have a DH, either or both can work from home, have friends or family who might step in, and we have known childcare / a cleaner / someone who can be asked to help; that's how we get on. The problem OP has is that her child has reached school age without her having any childcare options lined up apart from school. What do I suggest? Well, I already did suggest options. I've said she can try to arrange parental leave or annual leave, and named 4 specific sites as options who will care for sick kids. I literally can't be any more specific than naming some same-day national childcare services who come out in this scenario.

Well it says quite clearly here that theres no set amount of time as it depends on the circumstances:

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Where on earth did you work that people were sick every day??

Obviously your sick child comes first, and the manager should not have behaved like that. It sounds like you rarely have time off, so I wouldn’t give it another thought OP.

On the flip side though, at what point does it become unsustainable/unacceptable or a matter of whether an employee is actually capable of doing their job? I consider myself an empathetic and supportive manager but I have an employee who, this year since January, is on 40% attendance as either she or her children are sick pretty much every other week. She simply isn’t here to do her job and I have to cover both roles pretty much all the time. Should my very small company continue to suck it up? It is frustrating!

"Example
If your child falls ill you could take time off to go to the doctor and make care arrangements. Your employer may then ask you to take annual leave or parental leave if you want to look after your child for longer."

You're entirely missing this point about making arrangements for some reason. You are supposed to try to make care arrangements, that may include negotiating paid or unpaid leave with your employer but the employer does get to discuss how that works (bound by their own HR policies for fairness).

I had a manager like this anytime you where doing anything for her like covering a shift last minute you where an absolute gem best employee ever then the second you needed anything the huffing and puffing and hanging up on you started and you where the worst person in the world. I'm glad I left the manager I have now is amazing

Im not missing it, but op hasn't said they don't want to take any other sort of leave so presumably wouldnt have an issue.

Yes, because all managers are the same and all companies are the same.

You think being a manager means all human emotional and behaviours are automatically suppressed? A manager like anyone has stressful off days and sighing is a very normal human response and one that is forgivable. Shouting, name calling and threats are not.

I remember a manager asking 'can't your mum take him?', no sorry she is dead.. 'can't your MIL take him', no sorry she is seriously mentally ill. (No mention of course of 2 grandfathers). I wasnt single mum but DH worked away for a few months. OP You don't get a choice in this right now so there is nothing you can do. It's so so difficult and unfair when people with support are seen as more reliable than those who are doing all the work all the time. Yes it's hard being a manager but that's their problem not yours.

this is the reason I’m so glad I’m self employed now.
Back in the day my youngest was in hospital with breathing difficulties (severe chest infection), my manager suggested my husband stay with him while I came to work. It was literally the first day he was in hospital and actually, we were BOTH there with him. He was in a week overall and then still very poorly for another week and yet on day 2 in hospital I dragged myself into work as they were absolute dicks about it. My husband’s work were fantastic and told him to take as long as he needed, paid, and sent us a get well soon card for my son

No it isn’t. It’s normal that a parent looks after a child who isn’t in school due to illness.

She sounds a poor manager if she’s sighing down the phone like that.