AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

YADNBU! Maybe he'll think twice before being a twat to other people. Sometimes individuals need to be taught just how obnoxious and irritating they actually are. I'd like to hope he's learnt something from your interaction, but the fact his wife has messaged you I suspect he's still completely oblivious to his twatish ways and sees himself as the victim.

Agreed.

Seems his true colours are poking through and yet another group he is going to have to leave as a result; well, I HOPE he bloody leaves on his own accord! Why do these men think this behaviour is acceptable?!

my Point being he clearly knew before she explained to him the situation, otherwise op wouldn’t have needed to explain herself the first time….

🙄 jeez. Calm down. Do you always get this invested and angry on behalf of a stranger posting on the internet?

All these members of the group now getting involved…. Why didn’t they at some point over the last few years? Your good friend messaged that annoying fucker only does this to women… meaning that he must have heard him doing it loads

Also found out that it was suggested he leave a community gardening group a few years ago due to a bullying incident ( against a woman)

wtf…, they suggested it? And he said “nah, I’ll crack on”, and the group said “ok cool”?

It’s a polite turn of phrase to tell someone to leave. First day of British politeness for you?
I host a book club and have, on a couple of occasions, “suggested someone leave.” It just means politely and heavily hinted that it’s not the right group, and the person always leaves. Really not an unusual turn of phrase.

It’s clearly a dog walking groups. OP says they’ve been walking together for 2 years. So, of course he knows stuff. After two years, you get to know people and the patterns they use. This guy has noticed that sometimes OP walks the dog but sometimes her husband walks the dog. When it’s the husband, the guy doesn’t reference his days off or make any comments about how the husband must have had a lazy day. But when it’s OP, he constantly makes jokes about her having had a day off dog walking and calls her lazy. She has spent two years replying that she has been at work but he has kept going, so she told him more forcefully and detailed her time spent with people dying.

There is nothing weird about the set up or how the guys knows anything.

This was for BULLYING!!

Over years it is very clear now the rest of the group are commenting that people have e been acutely aware of this man bullying and ridiculing the women in the group

no one has said a thing beyond a polite suggestion he leave for bullying no less a few years ago

@Blackdow have you ever politely suggest someone leave for bullying? And if they then refused to, would that be the end of the matter?

Did you see the follow up about the lady boy comment? He's a jerk.

Didn’t you see my follow up after that?

Yes! Why is it another bloody job for a woman to do. He’s an adult, lives in the world, should know this is not acceptable but oh no poor lil man needs someone to help him. Fuck. That.

But he’s just an arse? If I spent time with someone who behaves like an arse, I’d just think ‘here we go again’, roll my eyes and either ignore him or talk to someone else. It’s easy to avoid someone in this sort of situation where you’re walking in an open area, with potentially other dog walkers you can chat to instead. I walk my dog and there are some people who I’d rather not converse with and I just avoid. No big drama. Just ignore and walk in the other direction or chat to someone else. I’m sure the guy doesn’t purposefully seek OP out in a group situation just to repeat this again and again?

None of the men in this group said anything over the years despite it now being evident that fellow walkers were definitely aware of his bullying and racism

people have actually left the group because “bullying”. So its clearly more than just an arsey Middle aged twat.

which adds to how bloody weird it is that there’s been a cloak of silence over this group stopping anyone from saying anything aside from a few years someone politely “suggested” he leave due to bullying. He declined.

and the Op yesterday.

But it doesn’t seem like an official group. Just a group of people who take their dogs for a walk at the same time everyday, probably not as in an organised group thing, but more of a circumstantial one, where the walk just fits in with their timings. I see the same people on my dog walk in a morning, but only because we probably all have other commitments which means that’s the time slot we can do for that particular chore. I definitely don’t see it as a group set up. So I don’t get why people have ‘left’ the group due to bullying. It might be due to twatty man, or may also be due to other twatty dog walkers who they come into contact with. Or maybe all this arguing and silly back and forth of confrontation on the walks makes people think ‘I just want to walk my bloody dog in peace so I can get back to work/house chores/shopping’.

You’re really not understanding. It is telling them to leave. It isn’t a request, it isn’t optional. It’s literally a turn of phrase which means “you’re no longer welcome.”

Like when the prime minster says they have “accepted a cabinet member’s resignation.” The cabinet member was fired. We all know that’s what it means. Asking for someone’s resignation and then accepting it is a polite turn of phrase for them being fired, but letting them save face.

When you run a group and you suggest someone leaves, you’re politely telling them to get lost. Everyone always leaves; I’ve never been in the situation where I’ve had to be more explicit and tell them to get lost but if it ever happens, I obviously would as they’re not welcome.

You do see that it was suggested a few years ago that he leave

but he stayed

they kept him on the WhatsApp group etc

despite knowing he was a bully years ago

Do you not see that this group DID suggest he leave following bullying years ago

he didn’t leave!! And the group just cracked on

head wall bang

So in your analogy its like that cabinet minister remaining in his position for years after the PM supposedly politely fired him

I do not remember that at all from OP’s posts. You can quote it and tag me so I see it.

Kept him on the WhatsApp group didn’t they?

despite full on bullying that resulted in suggestion to leave years ago
and clearly walkers in group being acutely aware of this man’s racism misogynistic views…. They continue to include him in the group walking arrangements