AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

It absolutely isnt, DH is a fantastic support and is hopping mad at him.

Sometimes you have to overreact to male banter. How will they know how fucking irritating they are?

I put money on this being an ongoing joke between him and your DH and your dh whinges about it to him

No my gay male friend has put on the chat that annoying fucker never passes comment on him or his husband when they alternative dog walking. As in he only picks on women.

Well he’s hardly likely to say “yes dear it’s a joke I’m having with him, I whinge about me being your slave” kind of thing is he… given you are raging before his very eyes!

He's upset? That's laughable. If he's that sensitive, perhaps he should reflect on his own actions.

Too often, good people are so worried about upsetting others that we allow ourselves to stay silent, while we continue to be hurt instead.
Good for you for speaking up.

As for menopausal rage - personally, I see it as nature’s way of recalibrating. It’s a powerful force against injustice and unfairness. Plus you can use it as an excuse 😉

Do you feel better for it? You should.

Surely his wife has had her fair share of unfunny jokes levelled at her over the years.

Reply to the wife to say she is possibly unaware that her husband has been picking on you for two years and saying that having time off from work is being lazy. You simply felt it was time he knew the facts. Perhaps she should point out to him that he shouldn't jump to conclusions about other people.

Nope, other friends would have told me. I think you're projecting there x

There's this thing called trust. It's very handy to have in a relationship

Yanbu. I bet he doesn't make comments to your husband about him having a lie in on his days off, does he?

I do feel better.

Two posters think the husband - who is aware that his wife is going to her difficult job rather than lazing round the house- has been saying the opposite to a neighbour?

I think probably not.

Exactly!

Sounds like you’ve done the world a favour op. I wish more people would put boorish men in their place. Please don’t back down or apologise. I’d be telling him and his #bekind human shield wife to reflect on their behaviour and try to do better.

Good for you he deserved that.

Are you on glue?

I'd love to know what kind of sob story he told his wife. The poor mite, he needs his wife to stick up for him on the WhatsApp group. I'm glad someone else has called him out on the group.

Good for you. I wouldn’t have lasted two years to be honest. And thank you for the work you do. His missus needs to open her eyes to what a boring, unfunny misogynist she’s shackled to.

Your friend sounds great 💪

I have replied to his wife that it was a proportional response to 2 plus years of him intimating that I was lazy when in fact I was working and that if he cant handle it maybe he should refrain from making unsolicited comments.

He is , known him for donkeys years, top bloke.

I really don’t understand situations like this. You’ve laughed it off this long then exploded in irritation. From your perspective this has been a long time coming, but from his you’ve been fine and laughing all along and have suddenly turned on him. All of this could have been avoided if you just politely said ‘XX I appreciate you’re only joking, but I am actually at work doing s stressful sometimes upsetting job, I am not having a lie, I’m working. Now let’s please leave it there?’, two years ago!

maybe it’s a ND thing, but people just don’t say what they mean and that’s very confusing to me.

Text her back, “Good 🙂”.