To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

Maybe what people are saying (or meaning) is yes, every female is a target for harassment and unwanted attention but it is ramped up even more for very attractive girls? Either way, it’s all bad, none of it is ever justified and creepy men should be embarrassed and ashamed of themselves, those types of men are repugnant.

I haven't seen any evidence that the OP can't spell 'OP'.

Or perhaps you meant:
"Is it also stressful not being able to spell, OP?"

Got to watch that punctuation if we're going to pick on people's typos! 😁

So depressing it’s still going on. I’m 50 and had it now my dds do. Visiting North Africa is basically off limits for women of child bearing age which should be more of a scandal than it is.

Maybe I'm oblivious but I certainly can't say it's been mine. I consider myself reasonably attractive and was actively pretty when younger. I don't think I've ever been leered at. My sister has big boobs and she most definitely has, maybe that's a factor? I'm quite flat chested

Maybe you give off 'take no nonsense' vibes? :-)

Ergh lucky you I had too many disgusting experiences to write down I’d be here all day. Tailed off now one advantage of aging! Don’t miss it at all.

People also feel confident in telling me off especially during Covid I often got shouted at frequently. I think I have the opposite of RBF.

That may be true, we don’t know as we can’t compare everyone’s experiences, but that poster I’m replying to has several times said it’s about beauty and attractiveness and that’s what men want, when I’m trying to say is that I think every women I’ve spoken to has a story no matter what they look like, and most women have been leered at at some point no matter what they look like. It’s not about your looks, it’s about the fact you’re female and sadly, under the age of 25 it’s rife and it doesn’t matter if you have ‘curves’ or your face is what is considered beautiful at the time (maybe they do experience it more, I have seen men go nuts about a few friends faces, one man crashed his car because he was staring at my friend) but it’s not limited to just ‘attractive’ women or those with ‘curves’ it happens to girls who are very young and those who don’t fit beauty standards. And I think we need to acknowledge that because some people suggesting to beautiful people it’s just them is dangerous and suggesting it won’t happen to you if you aren’t conventionally attractive to whatever the current beauty norms are is also dangerous.

I feel the same op but it's interesting to hear from other posters as early development or any vulnerability could be more worrying. My DD is prettier than I was and I remember being oblivious to more savvy friends seeing off lecherous men - obviously she will get hit on more but there are so many other possible risk factors.

@TheBlueUniform id call them out on it! And “I will “ I feel your pain . I worry already as I have a beautiful daughter younger than yours and I predict it all .
Why should they get to be creepy men and we have to say nothing. .

I remember being 14/15 and walking to school and men in vans staring as they drive to work ( I wasn’t what you would call beautiful) i was a school girl in a skirt though . Yuck

I really hope so too.

My daughter said she had a young man (looked around 20) pull up behind her with the usual... when she turned round, he realised she was younger so asked her age -16... He apologised and drove off.
Further up the road was the man who she said is no younger than 40 who wanted to have a full conversation and thought he could tempt her with a meal 🙄. She had to tell him 'no thank you, I'm 16', and scuttle off.

The younger men seem to be doing better.

They always notice the young ones though !

Yes very true.

The sad fact is no woman regardless of looks or age is safe from men who are lecherous creeps.

Well you said rich people want her in her set and all it entails… and we’ve all heard about the porta potty parties, it sounds very similar to that, surrounded by rich people and beautiful girls like you’ve said. Just wondering if it was that?

I think it’s a problem for exceptionally beautiful girls.
TW - child sexual abuse so don’t read on if it’ll upset you.

Many years ago I ended up with a very beautiful child in my care at one point. She was abused sexually by 2 adults in the home, a teacher was sacked for taking pictures of her/up her skirt (under the age of ten) and 2 more incidence's happened with a family friend and someone else who was just randomly able to access this child. She had older sisters and younger sisters who were not as beautiful as she was (still very beautiful) and they weren’t abused. One of her adult abusers (related) told her it was her fault for being so pretty that made men lose control and she should expect this from all men.

She wasn’t with me very long but I think regularly about her and wonder was it her beauty that gave these disgusting abusive perverse predatory bastards an almost permission to abuse her? These absolute fuckers knew abusing a little girl was an evil thing to do, yet they chose her and justified it to her because of her beauty. Especially the teacher, he had so much access to children and out of all of them she was the only one he abused. Had she just been average looking and not looked like a doll would she have been left alone?
I used to think a child molester would just pick victims based on opportunity and vulnerability but this child was sought out by so many.

If she wasn't "beautiful" and happy with her appearance then youd have the worry that she'd have low confidence and then settle for a bad relationship.
Having daughters is stressful regardless of appearance.

Not excusing this at all, obviously, but l am old, when I was young 14 ish I had large boobs. However I looked like a child with big boobs (hair in bunches etc) and I got unwanted attention. Nowadays girls of 12 look 18, and OF COURSE its pervy for guys to leer at them, but if I was mother to a 12 year old (I have boys) I simply would advise them about the way they look/act/dress. And it may be victim blaming but surely safety is the paramount concern?

Quite the story you painted there

@Catinthereallysmallhat implying what? Why the hell would anyone make a story up about that. Good grief. Get a grip of yourself. It’s literally a discussion forum. People use it to discuss.

You have to teach her how to cope with it. Beautiful or not, because it happens anyway, not just to the select few - it happens to the overwhelming majority. It's a fact that you cannot change that men look at women, sometimes in a very unwelcome way. The only thing you can change is her ability to cope with it, resilience, her self-belief in what is right. You sound traumatised by it and to be honest, that isn't a good start and something you should deal with so that you don't give her that message.

You made it up? If they ended up in you care why on earth are you sharing the story on a public forum? I take it you are a family member or foster carer? So it’s that’s the case then you’ve just broken GDPR rules.

oh please don't. Don't ever say that girls should look at how they dress/act/look before addressing the fact that the issue is with MEN! It's like saying 'ah well, she deserved that sexual assault because she wore make up and a short skirt and was out after dark'. I thought we'd gone beyond all that now.

Safety would include teaching your sons to not ogle/letch at girls/women 'just because they are there', rather than trying to tell other mums to teach their daughters how to behave/dress! christ sake. 😡

My DD19 is tall; has always been tall for her age so possibly people thought she was older than she was. Feminine, graceful, pretty standard in the looks department, barely ever wears makeup, always in baggy jeans/trousers, slim blah blah. Since she was 11/12, I'd clock the letchy/leery middle age blokes side eyeing her. Made me want to vomit.

So should I have dressed her in sack cloth @dustydvd ?

Im neither.

To be honest op I was getting leered at and chatted up by men from the age of 12/13. I definitely wasn’t beautiful just a very average teenager.

It’s quite scary how m n were then it all stopped once I reached my mid 20s.

I can only conclude that a lot of men are into children/very young women.

Depressing to know that it’s still going on. I used to be blamed for ‘looking older’ or the way I dressed. But I can clearly distinguish a teen girl even if they’re wearing tiny shirts and cropped tops.

When you’re young men harass you whatever you wear.