To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

I was beaten and sexually assaulted when I was 25 (and generally was called beautiful at that age) and then I was violently sexually assualted by a stranger on the street when I was 62. Some men do not think women are human beings.

Thank you. I felt like I was going mad there. I jist thought it was worth a conversation regarding beauty and the vulnerability it brings to women and children. Won’t make that mistake again.

Good martial arts or self defence class. I managed to find a superb teen Krav Maga class for my middle girl.

Instructor was fantastic role model - ex foreign military - and built self esteem, recognising red flags and attempts to encroach on boundaries , avoiding putting yourself in vulnerable situations as well as the moves to get you away or disable an attacker to give you time to get away. Worth every penny.

I had more than my fair share of touch from the ugly stick, but was tall and skinny, pancake boobs, but long legs which seemed to attract wrong attention.

OP, you have been raising her for 16 years, hopefully she is prepared for life? You don't need to handle any situation unless someone approaches her while in you company which is unlikely. Every parent needs to make sure they have prepared their dc, daughters and sons, beautiful or plain, for adulthood in the real world we live in and all the challenges it brings.

Do you think this is part of the reason they are doing it?

Best to arm your child with the self esteem, sense of self preservation, sense, worldliness, confidence and skills that may help them to survive than worry about what you can’t change.

Mine was 14 when a man in a shopping centre - in his 50s according to her - looked her up and down and said ‘Just the way I like it’. Men are fucking grim and the leering and objectification starts early.

Sadly the poster above right. Can the overweight, plain young women easily find a boyfriend at Uni in the lookist Insta age? No. It’s horrible to watch confidence crumble & erode over time. It’s awful, it shouldn’t be this way but good looks facilitate.

Men have allways been like this. I think we used to shout 'do you wanna picture you fucking pervert' very loudly if I remember. This used to work a treat.

Men leer at most young women, beautiful or not. I remember as a school kid in high school, from around 13-17, workmen mainly but other men as well, whistling and shouting and leering from cars and vans and as we walked past building sites. Vile.

Started with my dd age 11/12 pervs staring,looking up and down
making comments
disgusting

I worked in a school in my late 40's comments from boys about huge breasts (mine) pretty disgusting. Apparently its banter. They start young and online talk about women as objects. Think Andrew Tate etc. Huge rise in online porn in school boys. Horrible. Not sure many parents are aware of what their children are looking at online. Sexting at very young ages too.

Horrific isn't it?

I had men chat me up when i was still at primary school. I was taller than my friends, a well developed 32c with long black curly hair. Unfortunately i was used to dealing with men ( We had a pub) I could either diffuse the situation or tell them to fuck off if it got that far. Teach your Daughter how to deal with them. Teach your son's how to behave.

My DD is 14 but looks older. We were at a
water park and this 30ish year old guy was leering at her and smiling at her trying to catch her eye. I splashed him in the face and told him she’s 14 years old and to stop being a dirty perv.

It isn't just the "normal" what everyone would call "beautiful"
Even as an over weight, big breasted, big bum but objectively attractive face I would get leered over by men.
I don't know I kinda feel this thread is abit show off "I've got a beautiful child look at me" sort of thread...

My DD and her friends shout 'paedo' at them

And what about the teenage girls (and indeed, adults of all ages) who cannot learn self defence? Wheelchair users? Someone with aggressive multiple sclerosis or rheumatoid arthritis? Those with dyspraxia? Women and girls with autism, adhd, williams or downs syndrome? Those with poor motor co-ordination? Visual impairment? Deafness? Muscle weakness? Those with mutism or speech/ processing delays who can't fire back at catcallers with a witty retort or call for help?

There are at least 3 million women and girls who'd fit into those categories. How do you practice self defence when you're slower, weaker, less aware of danger or able to respond?

I notice not one poster has responded to the lady on page 1 who was worried about her learning disabled daughter. Very telling.

The solution here goes beyond learning karate, which in the real world is nor going to protect you against a 6ft, 15 stone harasser who can bat away any woman's attempts like a fly.

We need reform of self defence laws that allow vulnerable women to arm themselves, be that with pepper spray, acid, a gun... whatever. Dangerous men only respond to the threat of immediate, severe violence.

Even having a male chaperone is no protection - look at the case last year of the male rapist who beat up a guy on a night out before raping his girlfriend on their way home from a bar. A gun would have stopped him in his tracks.

My DD2 is autistic and as I said she is a brown belt. Not every disability means you can't learn to defend yourself.
Of course it's harder for some people than others. I brought my DDs panic alarms when they started secondary school. Most people would be able to set them off and I can tell you no-one is going to hang around when they starts going

I get what you are saying, deusexmacintosh, and it needs to be emphasised.

We as a society must protect the vulnerable at all costs. They are so easily sidelined and exploited even in this day and age when everyone is more aware. Any one of us, or our children, could become disabled at any time, at the mercy of others. It is a scary thought but a fact. A good family can be vigilante but not all have that.

I can tell you what was stressful, travelling round India and having a daughter who looked like Catherine Middleton. This was 10 years ago. We didn’t dare go near ‘that bench’ at the Taj Mahal.

We can laugh now.

I was on a long distance train recently when a very attractive young woman got on. The amount of attention she got was unreal; men passing by asking if she wanted anything from the shop, stares, a man who was drinking who plonked himself beside her asking personal questions. She looked so uncomfortable and he was getting increasingly persistent. The trouble is, if she’d told him to f-off, he looked like the sort of person who’d turn nasty. I didn’t know what to do but let the conductor know who asked the guy to move as he was in a reserved seat.

She got up eventually and sat at a table seat nearby where there was only one seat free so no-one could sit next to her I presume. I felt very sorry for her.

Yep, good one!

I used that once with my 13 year old daughter.
Worked well!

DD s now 33, still remembers and understands why....

by raising daughters who can stand up for themselves. My girls are able and willing and have said ‘I’m a child you creepy fucker’ for themselves.

I wasn’t expecting so many replies but it goes to show how much of an issue it is. I’m clearly not alone in my worries but what a sad world when there are so many creeps about