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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is friend a CF? Wedding Edition!

184 replies

Goldfish92 · 01/06/2025 21:45

Finally after many years & cancelling and rebooking our wedding, me and DH to be are tying the knot this summer.

A few weeks ago, DFriend announces she has booked her own wedding a couple of weeks later. This itself would never be an issue, I realise I do not have a monopoly on wedding and I’m not the only bride in the world!

However…

As we’re trying to save money wherever we can, I have been making lots of the decor/favours/flowers etc for my wedding. I had been sharing a lot of this with DF as we share everything & are very close. She had now started to say, firstly jokingly now seriously that she’ll have all my decor after me (for free!) and she likes all my ideas etc. She’s asking what my dress is like, what food, music etc too.

I’m also feeling pressured to help with her wedding when I already feel maxed out trying to get everything done for ours with 6 weeks to go! I’ve stopped sharing things with her as it’s a) making me feel uncomfortable but b) like she’s stealing my wedding! I’d also quite like to resell as much as possible and I feel pressured to give it all to her! It’s also making me feel like my day isn’t my own.

AIBU?!

OP posts:
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Goldfish92 · 17/06/2025 18:16

gavisconismyfriend · 16/06/2025 21:51

Be careful. She’ll be suggesting a joint hen next as so many people can’t go to hers…..

I hadn’t thought this but I can totally see her unofficially hijacking if not a joint Hen, she’ll want us to be the “brides” and I’m sorry it’s another thing I’m not sharing Confused

OP posts:
SuperTrooper14 · 17/06/2025 18:27

Goldfish92 · 17/06/2025 18:16

I hadn’t thought this but I can totally see her unofficially hijacking if not a joint Hen, she’ll want us to be the “brides” and I’m sorry it’s another thing I’m not sharing Confused

Oh god, she's going to turn up to yours with a matching bride sash!

Who is organising yours? Can you have a word with them and explain you are worried CFF might try to hijack yours and you're not having it? If your hens have a group chat you're not in, she might have already started hinting!

Agapornis · 17/06/2025 19:07

Tell you bridesmaids/hen do organisers to bring scissors to cut her sash. Maybe some tar and feathers. Definitely get them on board to police her behaviour.

Goldfish92 · 17/06/2025 19:10

SuperTrooper14 · 17/06/2025 18:27

Oh god, she's going to turn up to yours with a matching bride sash!

Who is organising yours? Can you have a word with them and explain you are worried CFF might try to hijack yours and you're not having it? If your hens have a group chat you're not in, she might have already started hinting!

One of my best friends is organising it, my sister has been helping too! BF has already sent me a message about CFF hen party plans as she was also invited, why is this another thing I’m dreading now!

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 19/06/2025 17:41

…why is this another thing I’m dreading now!…

oh OP I am so sorry. I know she’s (supposed to be) a friend of yours but this makes her sound absolutely horrible.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/06/2025 12:09

I think that given you have two people organising yours, you should ask if they would mind being bad cops on this occasion and leaving you out of a conversation that it is Your Hen.

Goldfish92 · 20/06/2025 18:20

Update: DF & DSis have had a “gentle” word & they said CFF friend was defensive but then claimed she’d never “steal the spotlight” from me…but I guess we’ll wait and see.

OP posts:
Agapornis · 20/06/2025 18:33

Well done. Glad they're happy to speak up for you.

BakelikeBertha · 20/06/2025 19:37

I'm glad to hear that someone has had a word OP, I'm not one bit surprised she was defensive, she was hoping that you wouldn't cop on to her being a CF!

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