Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

That sounds like utter misery to me. There is some middle ground here, like 30 mins including a shower and a coffee whilst getting dressed.

Why is it crazy that not everyone showers at the same time of day as you?

You are complaining about exclusion when you are self excluding.

There are multiple solutions but you don't like any of them.

It seems like you want everything on your terms.

Only in that it seems odd to be happy to be going out unwashed!
i don’t always shower at the same time every day, but if I am going out, I always shower before I go.

Not really, the OP narrative changes but she does say if they waited a bit longer, just for me to have a coffee and get ready, we could all go which sounds like she expects them to wait around for her to get up, drink coffee then get ready (and 8am really isn't early!), which would be pretty boring if you're up and ready to head out.

Sounds like this is their thing. Come up with something different that can be your thing with DD / DH.

In my case-my dp and the children loved their time just them. Obviously I could have gone if I had wanted to, but why would I muscle in on their time together?

You could do any of the following to change things:

1. get up in time to go with them
2. get up and take DD by yourself to the playground or another place you want to go
3. plan a weekend activity for later in the day for you to do together
4. ask your DH to plan an activity for later in the day for you to do together
5. invite people over in the afternoon to socialize in your home so playing out with neighbors kids isn’t the default

No you haven’t. You’ve said she plays with the kids in the street in the afternoon. That’s not a reason. Just make plans to go to the cinema/pottery cafe/bike ride/feed the ducks in the afternoon. Or suggest one of the weekend days you have a family day at the seaside, the other day your dd and dh can do something just them.

Or is this a stealth boast?

Sounds like they have a lovely routine and a close relationship

Either join them occasionally - get up earlier and take coffee with you, or follow on after?
Or tell her that it’s family time? My childhood we definitely had times we said no to friends because building and maintaining family relationships is important

I don't shower every morning 🤷

If in a hurry, get up, brush teeth/wash face, clothes on, hair tied back, moisturiser on. 5 mins tops then downstairs. Hot water into thermo mug to prime a little while I find shoes, get bag etc. Coffee into thermo mug, car keys, out.

10 mins in total? If going out for more than an hour or so, perhaps put a cereal bar/apple per person into my bag plus a bottle of water. Change of pants for the youngest, mini pouch bag, basic make up in bag (always has the essentials in). So another 5 mins?

Could you have your lie in and then meet them wherever they are?

Just get up earlier!

What? Not using her for something to do, they’re over all weekend or she’s there, so obviously we can’t go out, i’d just like to leave the house or do things as a family too
I can’t go out or do hobbies when they go out as they take the car

Don’t know

Do you not have your own personal life/friends/hobbies?

you could use the morning for some gym time or doing an activity you enjoy.

spend a couple afternoons with DH chilling have some private time while dd is out the house

I think this is an episode of Bluey...

And not everyone is like you.

I don't shower before going to work as I work with animals and it would be a pointless waste of time and water. Equally at weekends if I'm going to walk the dog then I'd shower afterwards.

Maybe you should stop judging everyone by your own made-up rules.

Well tell your daughter you have plans! Don't let a child dictate your weekend, say "darling you can't play out/have friends round this weekend as we are going out as a family/having a film afternoon or playing a board game"

Of course you can go out. She's seven - she doesn't make the rules

I agree, having a few hours to myself every week?!? Dreeeeaaaaaamy!
If you're bored, or feeling lonely, do something about it, you're a grown arse woman! You could join your DD and DH when you're ready, you can go do a hobby, meet with a friend to a café, watch your favourite show, go shopping, do whatever you like. Sorry, i really struggle seeing the problem here at all!

Nobody slobbed around, we had a nice breakfast together then either went out or she saw her friends
8 isn’t early to wake up, but fairly early to be up and out.,Sundays too at least

You haven’t done nothing, you’ve prioritised your rest, which is a good thing. Surely there’s a tonne of interesting things you could plan for the afternoon? Baking, cycling, swimming, walking, bowling, cinema, karaoke afternoon, occasional theatre trip, museum, national park, climbing, bouldering …

You sound a bit passive.

Suggest family trip to wherever you think you’ll all enjoy and get going.
Or use the time to do something you enjoy.

You don't have to "do nothing" with the weekend though, sitting around, waiting to see when your DD and DH are back. There are all sorts of things you could do! Then have family dinner at say 5pm and watch a film or something.

That said, I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask them to wait until 9am to leave.