Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

Having Dad-DD time is lovely one day per week but not both days. Especially not when it's stopping you doing something else by yourself, which it is, because they're taking the car.

How about a conersation with DH and propose some alternatives for one of the days:

• family outing (including all of you get up early and go to the park together!)
• you take DD out, he stays home
• DH and DD stay home, you take the car

.... or what other suggestions does he have?

It’s miles away, there’s no way to get there aside from walking 3 miles

So get up earlier or propose an alternative plan then

Have you talked to him though? I think this is crucial.

He is taking the car every weekend for the whole morning. My DH would always say ‘do you need the car?’ Before leaving me stranded. So that’s a start of a conversation.

What would actually happen if you actually said “I’ve booked swimming for the 3 of us , this Saturday at 10”?

Then get up and ready to leave when they want to leave surely

Charming

I don’t say anything to them, Dd is happy so I don’t want to ruin that for her

Agree that it does sound paranoid.
I also agree with the rest of your post @DaisyChain505

Perhaps I've missed something in the OP's posts, but surely the answer is to organise something for you all to do, so the day doesn't just drift by playing with friends?

You sound very passive, OP. As if you want things to revolve around what you want without you arranging that. What could you organise to do next weekend? Is there something on locally — an event being held in a park, a trip to the coast if you're anywhere near, a picnic at a local beauty spot or adventure park or even a visit to the cinema or ice-skating or visiting the local dog's home or whatever floats your boat? Doesn't need to cost a fortune, take sandwiches and drinks. Let them know what's planned or, better still, let DD decide where she'd like to go. Next weekend DD and DH go out for breakfast while you get up slowly and have your coffee, and when they come back you all go off together.

I dunno how bad this sounds, when I used to work during the week then I would often take my kids out (just me) to spend time with them; OH could come if he wanted but it was optional.

I'm taking middle one swimming (just us) this afternoon as he requested. I'll do alone time with the other two and they can request the activity as well. I enjoy spending alone time with my kids and/or one kid at a time.

There's nothing to stop you organising a chilled one-on-one afternoon activity (cinema or something) or a family chilled afternoon. My oldest likes to hang out with his friends in playground on Saturday afternoons too... but sometimes I book an activity and he's fine with that.

I think it's fine they want to spend one-on-one time together regularly.

Oh, the irony.......

It sounds lovely. My DDs used to have a Daddy Day each week - I was at work and it was his day off. Goodness knows what they did together - I think chocolate was involved!

It is wonderful that he takes your DD out. If you want to go too you are just going to have to get up!!!

Eh?

So you are complaining about how your weekends transpire, after allowing them to transpire as they do because you have done absolutely nothing at all to try and direct how you'd prefer they would transpire, but you're not willing to say or change a single thing, or do a single thing to try and remedy the situation? Have a got that right?

So why are you on here complaining?

That's only an hours walk there.

If that's not a possiblity - could you not do some baking or painting or craft in afternoon so DD wants to spend time with you both or do something all together on Sunday.

Either you accept it - try and make it work for you - or you do something to change it.

I rememeber a certain poster still around moaning entire weekend was taken up with sports her DH used to take her sons to - so she felt lonely. She did nothing then they left home - now don't confide in her as she so anxious and worried all the time - her Dh has new hobbies that take up weekends. I wondered at time if their behavior was a way to cope with her negativity and anxiety.

So occurs to me to ask are you okay in yourself - bar this situation are you happy - is there more of a problem here.

So what's the issue then?

You sound very passive and have avoided a lot of questions, like the age of the child and whether you have days off with them alone in the week.

Your options are to do one or more of the following either some of the time or all of them time.

• Wake up early and join them
• Organise an alternative and communicate clearly to your husband about it
• Plan sometime nice from late morning eg going out for brunch together and you husband can drive back and pick you up for it
• Do nothing and just spend the time by yourself because your convinced your husband and daughter like each other’s company more than yours (which seems from an outside perspective to be your issue)

Choose from the above and take some ownership over making the life you want.

You sound like an utter wet lettuce OP! All you have to do is suggest you do something when they’re back / instead of going to the park etc.

I’m not 100% happy at the moment, peri etc, but I don’t display that to them or make life miserable

Sorry, 6 and not days off, but after school, yes

It's like pulling teeth!

Okay

Are you like this in real life?