Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

There's absolutely nothing odd about a dad and his daughter wanting quality time together at the weekends.

OP could plan something for the whole family if she wanted - nobody is stopping her.

You're implying there is something inherently unsavoury about a parent spending time one to one with his own child.

I genuinely feel sorry for you.

Let them do it one day at the weekend, it sounds sweet, and do something as a family the other day. It might mean that you have to get up earlier than you would like but that’s the price you pay if you don’t want to be left out!

Am I speaking in Martian? The OP is deliberately being excluded, as the DH and her DD want to go alone. Read her posts for goodness sake. Them purposely excluding her is odd. I'm not repeating myself again. If people think it's not odd, then you do you. I think it is!

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Half the weekend every weekend and never ever asking the OP to do something together? And always going to the same place? So odd.

And it's not ODD if they are basically going out because the child and dad are already up, and waiting around for mum to sort herself out would mean half the day is gone.

But she really isn't. The child (who we don't know the age of) has said she doesn't spend as much time with their dad as they do mum. The child probably now sees getting up early and going to the park as a nice thing to do with dad.
The OP states dad works more, so for all we know the OP could work part time, child is actually pre school age so mum takes them out several days a week on their own, so the child is simply wanting to even things out and have 1:1 time with dad, same as they do with their mum. Not strange or weird at all.

Shit.... same! Am just about to take 1 dc out just the two of us! @LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway should I cancel?! 😱

It’s slightly different as my Mum worked nights but I have very fond memories of my Dad taking me and my brother out at the weekend. It is really nice to spend time with one parent. We had a lot of fun.

I’d just go with it and arrange something for later in the day on one of the days.

Does Op's husband not want to do something as a family? Ever? Odd.

It's hard to say, OP. On the face of it, it does seem that you are being unreasonable. 8am isn't early to be out and about when you have a young child (and as she's still interested in going to the playground, I assume she is under 10). It's also nice that she gets to spend some 1:1 time with her dad, especially if she doesn't see him much during the week.

It sounds like you just need to communicate more effectively with each other. If you want to do something specific, or spend time together, discuss this with your DH. Have a calendar on the wall where plans are written down so everyone can see. If you want to sometimes join them at the playground, do. If they want to keep that time to themselves, arrange something for Sunday that you all do together.

So when I take my DS to town regularly on a Saturday and we have some fun or do something interesting, and DH stays at home because he prefers to to have a lie in or potter about alone at home, is that "odd"? Are we "deliberately excluding" him? Now that is a bonkers attitude!

Well done for putting a laughing face emoji in response to my post @LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway . I imagine you do the same on FB discussions when you see a post you disagree with.

Sign of the times sadly. Dismissive and ignorant.

I thought this after one of the updates but now I dont.

She hasn't explicitly said they have told her not to go...I think they just get ready and go whilst she is still in bed, after all, if she was up and ready, she could just get in the car and go.

If op wants to be a part of this, all she has to do is set an alarm and get up and ready, then go too.

If they prevent her from getting in the car or say "don't come" then I would agree but op says that isnt whats happening

Because it’s not odd at all
I am sure if she planned family days they would go (she said they did)
They both get up earlier than her and go out rather than stay in. She wants them to wait for her to have coffee and get ready. They just want to get up and go.
It’s obviously become their special routine and that’s fine.
I used to take mine swimming and for breakfast on a Saturday whilst DH had a lie in. He would have a movie and pizza night with them one evening whilst I was at work and have them Sunday morning whilst I had a lie in
We would do a lot as a family as well
Shes not being excluded. She’s chosen not to get up (which is fine) and is now being a martyr. She has the rest of both days to do something with them both. She just needs to arrange something!

The difference is that OP doesn't prefer this arrangement. Key difference.

Sounds like the dad is stuck in some rut and a bit rigid.

@Doanythingtostartalloveragain have you suggested to your husband let's go to x,y,z next sunday?

Not odd because you're a woman so a) expected to do this and b) not a pedo 🙄

Yes, apparently you’re a Clique of two, ‘deliberately excluding’ your DH.

Well, as envisioned by someone who’s never grown up past the age of being devastated when someone didn’t invite her to her sixth birthday party.

I think you're the odd one here.

OP isn't awake when they are, they want to go out, so they do. OP needs to get up earlier or make plans the day before if she wants to be included, not expect them to sit around until she's ready.

No I'm not oddd, what are you basing that on? You know nothing about me.
A grown up who does the same every weekend appears rigid and boring to me. Doesn't sound like my idea of family life as others have said, and OP doesn't like it. You do you tho.

The OP never said they told her not to come, only that she doesn't like to get up as early as they do Nothing stops her from going with them if she wants, as far as I can see from the info given so far.

Let them go one day without muscling in other day get up early

If you want family time then you need to sacrifice your long lie. Your DH and DD enjoy these outings so they shouldn't be made to sacrifice them so that you can have a lie in. As others have said, one morning DH and DD go and have some one on one time and you get time to yourself (find something to keep you busy if you're bored), and the other day you all have a family day out together. You'll still need to get up early though, not fair to have them waiting around for you half the day.

Do something exciting in afternoon/evening or on Sunday so they want to do something with you.

I had this for a while - DH worked away and took then to dance and spent Saturday morning with them - I was still up in night and did all week me and kids so was exhausted and struggled to get up earlier.

Realised only changed when I sorted out a plan and task to do together - so did that - sometimes in house somtimes outside.

Or he's doing it because it's what his daughter wants to do, and OP is still in bed at that time.

If OP doesn't like it, she can always get herself up earlier and make different plans, can't she?