Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

But plans are being made, and things are happening?
It's just not your plan?
Unless they've actually said 'no @Doanythingtostartalloveragain you can't come'?

I think OP wants everyone to tell her she's a victim.

Just speak to your husband in advance. We do a quick "right, what are we up to this weekend" every Friday evening and make plans accordingly. Your DD isn't in charge of the weekend.

Does every other person on MN live rurally in a place where there's no way to walk or cycle anywhere without having to drive?!

Ah that’s good! That is win win all round!

Why is it odd? Could you clarify?

Perhaps you could take it in turns to do this. Have to say one weekend lie in a week kept me sane when DDs were early risers. It's nice that DH wants to take her out but I can also see the point about family time.

What is odd about a dad wanting to spend time with his daughter? Could you clarify?

If you know they like to get up and out early, make plans ahead of time. It's not reasonable to expect them to sit around while you have a lie in, just in case you wanted to do something. If you want a family day, talk about it the night before, don't just sulk about it after the fact.

@cheesycheesy ?"deliberately excluded'? Well maybe, just like my DH is 'deliberately excluded" from going for lunch, to the beach etc on Saturdays. He is delighted to be, and we don't even bother to ask him any more. We have different ideas about how to spend a weekend day, nothing wrong with that!. If he wanted to be "included" on our Saturday trips he would just have to get up a bit earlier and come with us! He absolutely doesn't do that! Same as the OP deciding to have a lie in Nothing wrong with that, but how can she then complain that she's not in on the outing?

How old is DD, sorry if I have missed it in all the posts.

I don't think there is anything wrong in what they are doing, especially as you say you are not generally an early riser and I know other families who do similar with the dad taking the child out early or to any clubs they go to at the weekend, giving mum the lie in.

I think you need to be more bold about joining them if that's what you want to do. Make sure you are up and ready. Maybe they worry that you saying you will come means delaying going out early as you will want to get ready.
Likewise in the afternoon you are the parent. If you don't want your child out on the street every day then you need to say no. If you have no other plans though I don't see the harm, but otherwise you need to step up and say to DD not to go out as you are going swimming/shopping/cinema whatever.

It’s not fairly early at all!

Also wondering why this is odd. My DH will take the children out on his own, my friends husband usually takes their DD (only child) to their clubs on the weekend and mum stays at home, why can't men take children out without it being seen as weird? Would you also think its odd if it was the reverse and the mum was doing it?

Do you not talk about plans for the weekend before the actual day? You don’t say how old your daughter is but I don’t think saying every other weekend you are going to have a family day where she doesn’t spend time with friends would be an issue. Have you spoken to your DH about how you feel? What does he think?

Can you elaborate further? What are you implying?

Why don’t you do something in the afternoon? She doesn’t have to play with the other kids in the street if there’s an alternative planned? Plan something!

Honestly this is a non issue. Why don’t you alternate waking up with them and joining them / organising an activity (zoo, museum, show, etc) for the three of you / enjoying a morning alone / see a friend for brunch.

I personally think you should let them get on with it. Weekends we would go out with Dad giving Mum some free time.

If you can't see why it's odd, I'm afraid I can't help you.

If she's young enough to be going to a playground you are the parents and tell her what's happening at the weekend. Why not just book an activity for either day? Say we are all going to soft play/zoo etc at 10 you can go to the park together tomorrow? I get you are feeling pushed out but rather than moping change the routine if it doesn't suit

It's ODD because the DH and DD are not wanting the OP (the girl's mum) to go with them, like ever. How can anyone think this is not odd? She is being excluded. Why?

If course you can go out. Just say no to put with friends if you have plans to go somewhere. Mind you if plans are Sat in the house then I can see why your DD wants to play with friends instead

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway what so you find "odd" and not normal about a parent regularly having outings with their child? I do it pretty much every week and I don't believe I am odd. Can you explain?

Op you sound pathetic
Mid week at dinner - arrange your weekend plans. Might be a day trip together on the Sunday, might be an afternoon out on the Saturday, might be a pizza and board games one evening. It doesn’t matter.
If you don’t communicate plans then they are going to do their own thing rather than wait around for you
Even if you don’t go as a family you can still take your daughter out one of the days. She can’t be that tired if she plays all afternoon with friends. She are also letting her do what she wants, you are the parent. Tell DH he has to be home by a certain time and then do something. Be an adult

How odd. What's your husband like generally. He sounds quite unusual. What does he do after coming home from the playground? Sounds like he's actively avoiding you. And taking your dd out every weekend to the playground for about 5 hours doesn't sound like it's child centred, you say she is tired when they come back. Follow them next time and see where they spend these 5 hours. He wouldn't have a girlfriend whose house he goes to would he?