My sister is such a cow!!

[PIPERHELLO]

It’s a big milestone birthday for my mum (90), and I’m putting together a scrapbook of family photos, messages etc. Months ago I asked everyone to send brief messages / photos / memories for inclusion. Pretty much everyone has, except my eldest sister who tells me she ‘hasn’t got time’ and that it’s a gift from me, and she’s already got her gift sorted! 🤦‍♀️ Kind of not the point!!

Sadly, she has form here. She often doesn’t support me on this type of thing. So I’m not that surprised.

What I want to do is send her a reply saying she’s sort of missing the point, and how hard can it be to send a few photos & a message. But - am I right in thinking there’s little point! She’s not stupid. She’s doing it to try & sink my idea, simple as that. (She won’t - I’ve got loads of other nice stuff to include!)

AIBU in thinking she’s a complete cow??

This. The end. Don't bother asking your sister in future.

I think you’re putting a message over that that’s not there

Thanks @ThreepieceI must admit I thought the same…a lot of projecting!! But hey ho!

Is there a back story? Is there a reason for your sister being a ‘cow’?

This ^^

Remind her that it’s for your Mum’s special day and that your Mum will think it odd everytime she looks at it if she isn’t in it.

Which shows how bad idea on the OP's side it was to organise it in this way.

Hey OP, it's a lovely gift, and I agree with the others, simply leave her out of it or include some photos anyway!

How should she have organised it? It sounds as though everybody else was happy to contribute and thought it was a good idea, should OP have held off until her sister agreed and then not done anything because she didn’t get a confirmation? That would’ve been a shame for her mum and everybody else?

I love it when someone else organises stuff like this, because I’m kind of crap. And yes, sometimes I do think, oh no, I don’t have much time, but it’s certainly better than being the one that has to do it myself. Also, it’s just a bloody photo album. She hasn’t signed them up for a year long reality TV show or a holiday or something?

YANBU She is missing the point! It’s about your Mum, not her!
I’d put in a picture of her for your Mum’s sake but not bother with more than that. You can choose whatever picture you like of her… :-D

Leave a few blank pages with her name at the bottom.

I think you're spending too much effort making assumptions about her inner thoughts and motivations. In my family not taking part would probably just be flakiness.

In MN speak you have issued an invitation not a summons to contribute. She is free not to join in, it's fine. No need to judge her so much. You don't know where is truly coming from on this so leave it alone.

Is your sister my brother?

I organised a big do for our dad's 80th, it took a year. The week before my brother tried to change the date.

Just leave a blank page, your sister can add to it or not.

Ÿou are not being unreasonable. She should be grateful that your is still a live at 90 .I wish I still had my mum.

This. You’ve given her the option. She’s not a team player sibling. Don’t get stressed about it. I’m sure your mum will appreciate what you’ve done either way.

Hope it goes well!

I hate being pressured into things like this. Sounds like your sister doesn't like it either. Maybe it's as simple as that.

Maybe. Just a couple of pics and a message though, no big deal.