on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

[EleanorReally]

surely the kids could have stood, or sat on their laps

i think this is a common scenario now but didnt used to be

Good. So I hope you do this then? And always have? So say at age 20 you'd offer to someone of 25 etc?
And actually my kids have manners, thanks. They'd always offer to those people who NEED the seat (as long as it's obvious) so they'd offer to elderly, small children, people with a stick, pregnant women etc. But no. Not just anyone older than them. What absolute nonsense.

Why are you blaming children? How about an adult gets up?

Remember many adults will have reserved their seats to be beside their kids. It has to be the only explanation as to why in a 3 hour journey not a single seat became available.

I'm confused as to why the posters Mum didn't. Or why she didn't ask if their were seats elsewhere on the train.

My 11yo has autism and dyspraxia and is VERY unstable on his feet. He has gone flying before on the tube when weve been standing, we now know we have to keep a tight grip on him as well as trying to hold on ourselves - sitting is much safer. Smaller children can also be unstable. Not every elderly person actually needs a seat (my almost 70yo MIL regularly goes on 10 mile hill hikes) - if she was travelling with my son she would definitely make sure he was sitting rather than her

Yeah and it was dumb, people aren't as dumb anymore. Adult bodies (unless particularly frail) are actually way more robust than growing bodies. Kids actually need to rest more, their muscoskeletal systems are underdeveloped and weaker overall. They should get the seat for health and safety reasons.

Respectfully, an 84 year old is very different from a 70 year old - I would not call 70 "elderly". And if an 11 year old falls they are much less likely to be permanently damaged than an 84 year old.

As an older person on the wrong side of 70, there’s certainly been a change during my lifetime. I don’t feel safe or comfortable standing on public transport. I’ve given up my seat so often both as a child (not a toddler, I’d be on an adults lap) and as an adult if there was someone who needed it more. It would be nice if it happened automatically now. And I never sat in the priority seats until I developed a mobility issue.

Generally I think courtesy is rarer these days. Lovely to read that some parents here still encouraging their older children to give up their seats. 👏🏼

True-and though anyone, of any age, can have a condition which makes it difficult or painful to stand for a long time, it is more likely to be the case for older people-and women in particular used to be offered seats; at one time it was quite likely they were pregnant/recovering from pregnancy, and more likely to have be damaged by childbirth (it is good that people are starting to discuss birth injuries, but I remember my great-gran talking about how her generation tended to "have" to have lots of children, and they were just expected to put up with long labours and they got no choice in how they delivered-maybe richer women did).
But really, there should be enough seats so no one has to stand. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen...

The tube is noisy and can be quite scary for young kids (especially if they aren't used to it).

I always give my seat to anyone with a kid.

But surely that’s not possible if we’re talking about a child of 11 - ie old enough to stand for someone. You’re hardly going to have them in your knee.

I’d give my seat on the tube for children of about 6 and under. Slightly resentfully though, as it’s on the parents a bit for getting on at rush hour, when it is quite dangerous for small children to stand. I agree with OP there has been a change in habits (I’m in my 50s), no-one in the past would have stood for a 6+ year old, and I see it happen quite regularly.

For PPs post about her 84 year old mother it’s a bit more tricky. Most of the passengers would have been in reserved seats and it’s a big ask to get someone to volunteer to stand for 3 hours. The tube isn’t such a big deal as you’re probably volunteering to give up a seat for 45 minutes max. The train conductor should have kept his eye out for an empty seat though for her.

@Custark I’d give my seat on the tube for children of about 6 and under. Slightly resentfully though, as it’s on the parents a bit for getting on at rush hour,

Do you think parents with children and just avoid leaving the house until 10am? Or aren’t allowed to take public transport?

It’s easier for them to avoid rush hour, so yes, leaving after 9.30am would be probably he helpful to them and toddler DC.

How is it? The vast majority of families are not at home with their children all day, children are in school, nursery, childcare and parents are working.
The idea that parents shouldn’t get public transport in the morning with their children is literally crazy.

Depends on the age of the child. I think kids understand the age of about 10 struggle to stand on buses, but i wouldn't fancy a 8 or 9yo on my knee.

@Sofiewoo I guess I’m thinking more about school holidays, when people take their children out for the day. As I said, I give up my seat, but slightly resentfully. I have no choice but to be on the tube at rush hour, whereas most families on a day out could choose their travel a little differently.

Not a big deal, I know it can’t be avoided sometimes, but it grates a bit in a way that it doesn’t when giving up a seat to someone disabled, pregnant or elderly. Which I guess doesn’t make much sense as the elderly don’t necessarily need to be on a train at rush hour either. Which probably brings us full circle to OP’s point that decades ago, children weren’t given priority for seats, so I still have that thought ingrained. I think it’s fresh in my mind from last week a child of 7 or 8 getting on the tube with an adult and constantly saying ‘I want to sit down’ to her mum until an adult got up to give her a seat.

I really think kids this small ought to be sitting on laps if it's that busy. Definitely at 3 or 4. I find parents who don't do this - ie both kids and adults have seats - a bit U (unless it's a long journey and they've booked the seats, in which case crack on). However, I would probably choose to let me child sit instead of me if I had to. Much safer.

What actually happened was that a train was cancelled, the next train was running, which was Mum's train, and there was no reserved seating. It was the Liverpool to Norwich train which separates at Nottingham and they are always told to sit in the rear of the train to continue past Nottingham. Mum got a seat to Nottingham, in the correct part of the train (I checked with the guard and we put her on) and then they were told at Nottingham that actually the other half of the train was continuing on this day. So everyone had to switch to the other part of the train. Mum had luggage and needed assistance and by that time they were helped, all the younger folks had switched carriage and bagged the seats. It was Mum and one other lady in her 70s who was recovering from cancer who had needed help, who were left without seats (along with various other people who were young).
She then had to stand from Nottingham to Norwich. One person offered their seat to mum and the lady with cancer and mum said the other lady should take it as the lady was feeling quite unwell. Everyone else put their headphones in and studiously "didn't notice" an elderly lady having to stand. She ended up sitting on her suitcase for a while.

Shame on those people who left her standing for their own comfort.

In an uncrowded train it doesn't matter. I guess in a crowded tube the crush is reduced if the parent sits with their child on their lap as it's one less adult standing.

Are you suggesting that was better? When the small people, with the soft bones and more likely to fall and be I jured in an emergency stop we're standing while able bodied adults sat on their asses?

@ButterButterBattle that does sound very bad, in that ‘every man for themselves’ scenario I would have double checked on who had been left out and give a seat if necessary.

I feel like children, the elderly and the disabled should sit. Adults and teenagers without disability should stand. Transport is designed around adults. It is literally for us.

@ButterButterBattle I probably would have made my way to first class if it existed… you’ll find the guard would be sympathetic

But I think the young people and students should feel ashamed of themselves… what a selfish bunch. They’ll be no happier in the long run. Helping others often leads to happiness

I imagine if young children and parents are on the tube early they actually have places to be and things to do saying they shouldn't be on public transport is ridiculous!

So you think noone uses public transport to take their child to daycare en route to work themselves?