on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

[EleanorReally]

surely the kids could have stood, or sat on their laps

i think this is a common scenario now but didnt used to be

I would never expect a child to stand up for me (an able bodied adult). Whenever I hear people expecting that I always think it sounds like they’re dressing their own entitlement up as teaching children respect.

I was fuming when my 84 year old mum had to stand on the train for 3 hours and not one person offered her a seat. I complained to the train company and said could the guard not have requested for someone to volunteer to move. The reply was that the guards are not allowed to presume that someone doesn't need their seat. Which wasn't what I asked. I didn't mean that the guard should tap a particular young man on the shoulder and say "up you get, this lady needs a seat", but he could have announced to the whole carriage "this lady needs a seat can anyone volunteer to stand".

I am still bloody angry about it.

that is shocking @ButterButterBattle

but i don think this happens any more

I see this on the Tube all the time. Young people sitting while kids and elderly stand.
In the past I used to ask people to give up seats ( while I am standing myself) but now everybody is so aggressive.

I mean, if I was on a packed train and had a seat, and the conductor announced "an elderly person is standing, would anyone able bodied give up their seat for her (or him)" I would definitely offer, even if I hadn't been aware previously. I just don't understand why they claim they couldn't do that.

People also just need to ask though. My elderly parents get n tube a lot and people will offer but my mum also asks and people will stand up. My dad not do much and will decline a seat when offered.
just ask! “ would anyone mind giving me their seat?”. I guarantee at least 4 people or more will move

I’ll give up my seat for a child, why would that be a problem? Tubes can jerk stop quite a bit and I can hold on to a rail or overhead strap better than they can. Obviously if they’re fifteen or something I won’t but young kids, yes.

On things like trains that are fairly stable, yea, kids stand. Buses, maybe, there are more hand holds at least. A child 5/6 and up can probably stand safely. Tube is quite different, far fewer/higher hand holds etc. I'd encourage a child up to around 7 or 8 to sit unless fairly tall and sturdy, or the carriage was quiet.

And that would be because?

If a child has to give up their seat for someone is that because no adult has bothered to offer?

I don't think a 5/6 year old can stand safely on a moving train/bus.

I grew up at the end of a tube line and from an early age was encouraged by my parents to stand up and give my seat to any adult who might want it. I've always stood up for the elderly or pregnant women or anyone who seems infirm or in need, but I'd be really pissed off if I stood up to give a weary-looking pregnant woman or a grandparent a seat and they put their child in it. Going to London the week after next and I will remember not to stand up for anyone with a child. I'm the one who needs to sit down these days.

Back in the days of children should be seen and not heard, lots of things were different.
I think if the adults find it easier to manage the situation if the children sit then go for it.
If they are doing it because the children are little lords then they're making their own life harder

Small children unused to the Tube can go flying and knock other people over. I've seen happen. Under 6s should sit in my view.
Older people can decide for themselves, they know if they are stable or not.

a woman landed up sitting in a man's lap one time i was on the tube

it's harder for dc to reach things to hold onto or keep them confined, not getting bashed by others moving about.

Yes I think it’s a change. When I was young children were expected to give up their seats if someone needed it. I noticed when living in another European country that people would give up their seats for small children. I think it makes perfect sense and I now do it myself.

it is just i have noticed it and i think it is a NEW thing and wondered if it was

My parents always put me on the seat when I was young, it was a big deal when I could reach those grey things hanging out if the ceiling!

in the past kids would have been advised to give up their seats for adults

when was this?

@churrios I guess it depends on the ages of the kids, I'd tell my tall 9 year old to stand for an older person/pregnant lady but not my still a bit wobbly on the bus 5 year old. (I would pull him on my lap if I was sitting though)

Older kids age 10 plus maybe but not little silly kids who will fall over or run away or play with chewing gum stuck to the floor (toddler mum here - I just keep him in his buggy in the tube tho)

It is not really safe for children to stand on a bus or tube, they can't anticipate the movement in the same way adults can.

Parents and grandparents have a responsibility to keep them safe, if you think about car safety laws and seat requirements for children, it seems ridiculous that adults would still expect children to stand on a fast and unpredictable bus or tube.

Children (and short adults) have less access to supports for standing, especially if it's too crowded to move freely to a post or low-level bar. Young children are better off seated, and it's up to parents if that's giving up their seat or sharing. I remember being an hour+ on a packed train with my 3yo on one knee and 5yo on the other knee for at least half an hour until the carriage thinned, but it was the most space efficient way for us to arrange ourselves. For a long time, the 3 of us could bunch into a 2-person space if arm rests were not a problem.

I have shuffled up to make a child-sized gap to sit where an adult would struggle to help strangers.

It's better for my teenager to sit where possible because of his hidden issues of dyspraxia and hypermobility making him more susceptible to falling and injury than average. He doesn't ask for seats if they're not freely avaliable.

My brother and I used to share a seat if it would crowded so that an extra person could sit.

That seems sensible - if children are too small to stand reliably, they’re small enough to fit two to a seat.

I agree with seating very little ones but children from 6 ish upwards - and especially teenagers - are usually better able to stand than most adults, so to that extent I agree. I think if it’s very crowded you’d seat a slightly older child because they can still get jostled. My teen would definitely give up her seat and not sit when others were standing though - younger one hates the tube anyway due to ADHD so we don’t go on it a lot.

I agree OP. The parent used to be sat down and their small child would either be on their lap or in-between their legs to prevent falling. It was considered very rude and bad mannered to have an adult standing while a child sat down.