Page 10 | on the tube recently people were giving up seats for a mother and a grandfather who in turn let the children sit

EleanorReally · 2025-05-31T07:26:29+00:00

surely the kids could have stood, or sat on their laps i think this is a common scenario now but didnt used to be

Barnbrack · 01/06/2025 17:07

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 01/06/2025 16:20

I would offer my seat to an exhausted-looking mother in the rush hour, as some look utterly worn out (whilst their children usually appear to be bouncing with energy - I very rarely see tired children on the tube and I am still commuting though well over retirement age). However, they usually then put their lively, not toddler, child in it (who continues to squirms about) and continue standing themselves (while looking as though they might pass out any minute). When I was small, I really wanted to be allowed to stand, as I liked holding the post and balancing on a moving train, so I was delighted if told to give my seat up when it got crowded. However, my parent(s) always then either made me sit on their lap or stand close and hold onto them. I do offer my seat to someone even older than me and/or less able to stand. I don't count children in this category unless they are disabled. I am a Londoner and in the 50s, 60s and 70s, children were expected to stand if an adult needed a seat. I don't recall any child I knew ever injuring themselves whilst doing so. In the last year I boarded a very crowded train on my way home and there were no seats available. 3 children who were about 6-10, I suppose, had a seat each. However, their kind, sensible father made them share two seats and give me one. That is quite rare these days and was much appreciated as I am not great at standing for too long (arthritic foot). When I worked in Sydney, schoolchildren were expected to stand if an adult needed a seat (the buses carried a notice about it), which was very nice.

I still don't understand why you think you deserve the seat more than the child?

EasierToWalkAway · 01/06/2025 17:57

It would depend on the age of the child and it would also depend on the age of the grandparent. But in a general since I get it OP. If I was giving up my seat for someone I perceived to be a grandparent I wouldn't be expecting them to plonk a child down in their place. I think up to 6 years old I would put my own child/grandchild on my lap.

EasierToWalkAway · 01/06/2025 18:00

@mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork
I still don't understand why you think you deserve the seat more than the child?
Because she has an arthritic foot. This qualifies as priority seating. Wait till you get an arthritic foot and then you will understand why she deserves a seat more than the child.

Seymour5 · 01/06/2025 18:23

Barnbrack · 01/06/2025 17:07

I still don't understand why you think you deserve the seat more than the child?

Show quote history

Because she’s well over retirement age? As am I, and standing for any length of time on a moving vehicle gets harder. However, recently I’ve given up a seat for someone frailer than me (and I’m late 70s) whilst younger people studiously avoided noticing anyone's need. They can’t all have hidden disabilities can they?

Barnbrack · 01/06/2025 18:44

EasierToWalkAway · 01/06/2025 17:57

It would depend on the age of the child and it would also depend on the age of the grandparent. But in a general since I get it OP. If I was giving up my seat for someone I perceived to be a grandparent I wouldn't be expecting them to plonk a child down in their place. I think up to 6 years old I would put my own child/grandchild on my lap.

Edited

I HAVE an arthritic foot, well I have widespread small joint osteoarthritis, a chronic ankle and foot inflammation that has immobilised me completely in the past and currently have a knee injury as well, I use orthotics daily and crutches at times. I'm still more capable of standing on a bus than a child who can't hold on well or someone who is specifically frail. I stand for others to sit when they seem less capable than me and I've stayed seated at times when I literally couldn't stand for long periods despite someone else struggling to stand. If someone cared to ask me about it I'd happily apologise and explain. I'd be more inclined to suffer standing for a parent of a young child they were trying to keep safe than for someone who appears able bodied but a couple of decades older than me.

It's the 'not a child sitting 😱' brigade who piss me off, this idea that the comfort or wellbeing of children is inherently less important

Shwish · 01/06/2025 19:40

"It's the 'not a child sitting 😱' brigade who piss me off, this idea that the comfort or wellbeing of children is inherently less important"

Yes. This exactly. There is no logical reason why a child is inherently less important than an adult here, except extreme selfishness and entitlement from those adults.

ButterButterBattle · 01/06/2025 21:35

Seymour5 · 01/06/2025 13:11

I've experienced similar on the trains from Manchester. Last time, I booked a seat, train was cancelled and replacement was far too small. Lots of people standing, then I saw a seat with a bag on it and had to ask it's owner, a young man, to move it so I could sit. He looked surprised.

Show quote history

Might have been the same service my Mum was on!

Needspaceforlego · 01/06/2025 21:46

ButterButterBattle · 01/06/2025 21:35

Might have been the same service my Mum was on!

Show quote history

If there are lots of people standing it also means the people who are sitting can't really see beyond the people beside them.
If your mum has been near the door people wouldn't necessarily have seen her.

The train manager should have made some sort of effort to make sure her and the other elderly lady who needed assistance got the priority seats.