Partner has wet the bed…

[WFHbore2023]

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

Most of us can listen into a teams meeting, esoecially one not that relevant to our department) & Mumsnet at the same time.

you're just flogging the point now.

Then you have a bigger problem. I could not stay with a man who doesn’t have the nous to deal with his own piss accident.

And what’s more, he can do it, he just doesn’t want to.

Are you even attracted to him? Do you not just want to dump him?

Couldn’t exactly tell him to clean his pissy sheets first.

Yes you could.

I don't disagree that he's disgusting to assume you'd do this job.

But I would have made it very clear that I wouldn't be doing it.

Well she should have left the pissy bed for her husband to do when she noticed it was wet.

It wouldn’t bother me if my partner wet the bed.

I would be absolutely raging if he didn’t clean up after himself though.

You’re not his mother and he’s not a child, so I don’t understand how this is your problem to deal with.

With you @WFHbore2023 but I’d have left it and let him get on with it (having helped stripped the bed and with first wash on) and then (if he wasn’t showing signs of continuing) I’d have said ‘I’m working so I need to get on and leave you to it now’. Mine would have been more mortified if I had tried to help to be honest.

I'm not sure you should be proud of creating that much landfill because you can't be arsed washing a duvet!!

He could have started the process of clearing up and let you know when he would be back to do the next load of washing surely ? He could have planned his day accordingly? Being embarrassed surely would mean you would be less likely to expect someone else to clean up ??

Why didn’t you stop cleaning the mess up when you realised he pissed the bed and let him sort it out? Surely he could have cleaned it up and then took the kids out? I really don’t understand why he didn’t admit to it? You’re his wife, surely he’s seen you sick and go through childbirth? You’ve probably seen him go to the toilet too? Why is there this secrecy and ignoring him pissing it?

I don't understand why you getting so much stick. Yes he needs to see the doctor, yes he must be embarrassed, but why should you be left to clean up his pissy sheets. I would be embarrassed if I wet the bed but I wouldn't leave the sheets for my partner who didn't wet the bed to wash them.

Yanbu.
Really grim to leave you to it.
CF.
Absolutely no way any self respecting man would just assume its their partners job to rectify such a mess.
I would be very pissed off and he would know it too.

I wouldn’t have done it op, to be honest, and asked him what he wants to do re tonight’s arrangements for sleeping.

You are not default mother to everyone.

No as in embarrassed and not facing what happened

OP works from home so has to be in anyway, DH is looking after the kids.

Washing a set of bedding is not a full time job. You stick a load on, you wait 2 hours, you hang it up, you stick another load on.

It's just pee, and it was an accident. Pretty unfair on the kids if nothing else to make them sit around all day because there is a bit of washing to do.

Yeah very odd. I don’t even think I would be embarrassed. I clearly have no shame.

It’s disrespectful - he is an adult - it his job to wash the pissy bed.

It was all cleaned up this morning that isn’t OP’s issue it’s the fact he’s taken the kids out and op has to open the washer door put powder in and press the button

As an adult you piss in the bed you wash the sheets unless you are incapacitated.

It’s not as easy that. As evidence by the fact he didn’t do it himself and ran out the house.

Pissing the bed also isn’t a huge deal surely? I presume at some stage you have accidentally leaked on the bed when you were on your period? I highly doubt you leave it to your husband to sort out? Husband is hand out of order to not sort out his own pissy sheets. It’s happened once so we have no idea why it happened to anyone saying he has some potential health condition 🙄

Now most of us know that there’s a little more to it to get multiple loads washed and dried. don’t we?

He must be very embarrassed and concerned about why it’s happened. This hasn’t happened because he was drunk, so he’s not at fault. I find it odd that you’ve turned this round to be about you and the fact you’re having to wash the bedding. I would be more sympathetic to your husband and wouldn’t for a second be annoyed about him going out and me washing the bedding.

Unless you are a man and then it’s a piece of piss someone else will deal with effortlessly.

Just seen he was sober. Yes he needs to go to the doctors