Partner has wet the bed…

[WFHbore2023]

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

It’s possible he planned to deal with the laundry when he got back. If OP would have preferred he prioritised the washing over taking the kids out, that’s something she should have communicated, he’s not a mind reader. Chances are, he’s already feeling embarrassed and just trying to distract himself from worrying about his health by focusing on the kids.

It depends on where he was taking the children it does sound as if he made a day of it. They are on school holidays they need to do something. Where ever they went it would have been better than letting the kids go off to entertain themselves for the day. If it was me I would get on with it and wave them off. I think there is more going on the relationship.

You just don't get the point do you?

Yeah, let leave urine soaked sheets on the bed for hours on end, great idea?!?! Common sense.

They got up and changed the sheets already.

They stripped the bed together!!!!! All she had to do was put it in the washing machine and press go!!!!
She didnt even have to make the bed again but chose to do this because I suspect this gives her more ammunition in her quest to make her DH feel worse about what has happened. Because you know in true MN style…. how could he do this to you?

Jesus. If my DH had a made a mess that required a significant effort to clean, he would never just leave it and expect me to sort it out for him.

Smaller things he sometimes leaves without mentioning it / sorting it, and it falls on me to deal with the consequences of that, which also isn't great. But he has never leave me that much extra work without even asking if I minded. If he ever did, we would be having a discussion about it, because I am not his skivvy, and I wouldn't tolerate being treated as one. How the mess was made is irrelevant, it's assuming it's ok to just dump that work on your partner, that isn't ok.

And for those saying about how embarassed he might be. Sure, he probably is. That doesn't absolve him of all responsibility, or allow him to dump work on his wife.

SHE had him HELP remove the sheets. SHE washed all the soiled sheets between her WORKING day, while HE had a jolly at the beach.

Honestly if you pissed all over your marital bed, and didn't have work, wouldn't you wash them yourself while your spouse worked?

They stripped the bed together. She just had to put it in the machine. That’s all.

Yes we know. She washed them down by stream on a rock. You should see the callouses on her hands poor woman.

Really? Does it just walk out of the machine of its own accord and sort out drying by itself? Do the next three or four loads do the same?

Oh poor woman! So she was going to do 3 loads and the 4th was the straw that broke the camels back. The horror of an extra load.

My partner would have probably put them in the wash before I get a chance to knowing him. He wouldn't make me feel bad about it. He would probably order me to phone the doctor to get a smear test or blood test.

OP said it had taken 4 loads already.
It's not just a sheet and duvet cover, it's the duvet itself, and a mattress protector.
Four loads of pissy bedding to clean and dry, is not a small amount of work.

All she had to do was put it in the washing machine and press go!!!!

Correction.
All HE had to do was put it in the washing machine and press go!!!

Why do you prefer women cleaning up piss, rather than men?

Strange.....

Oh he stripped the bed? Wow wee let's give him a gold star! How about washing and hanging the 4 loads during his working day? And taking off the line/out of tumble and re-makingbthe bed? Did he do that? No. OP did. It's stupid that that is to be expected of your OH without offering, at the very least.

I do wonder sometimes whether MN actually stands for Misogyny Now…

Wouldnt it be funny if I told you all that I have never done a load of washing in my life. Neither has my husband. 😂

So much hate, please look after yourself.

I mean, judging from the rest of the supposedly funny anecdotes that you’ve shared, it probably wouldn’t be funny, no.

And remind me to not start doing my own washing either … it sounds like a marriage breaker 😂

I’m not defending him but if it were three or four loads then the children’s day out would have to be cancelled. Obviously I don’t know if that would have been an issue for the kids or not, but you couldn't do four loads of washing and drying and go out with kids for the day.

Yes, you are so right.

I sincerely hope that some of these posters aren't teaching their children that it's women who wash pissy sheets, not men.

Even if he'd done the first load before taking the kids out, but nothing... Strip the bed (with help from OP) and waltz off for a little beach day. My partner would never have this little respect for me and my time, let alone on a day I was working.

This thread has attracted the crazies and the male apologists hasn’t it?

@WFHbore2023 Your DP should have asked you if you were okay to do the washing. Not okay that he didn’t. In my household I do the washing but something like that would mean that my DH would ask if I was okay doing it. I’m not sure why so many posters on this thread have had comprehension fails. I hope that the unexpected urination isn’t anything bad and was just a random once off event for your DP. Please keep on him to get a doctor’s appointment booked. Men can be weird when it involves their genitals.