Partner has wet the bed…

[WFHbore2023]

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

There was a mattress protector sheet on top.

Why not answer her question, Hello?

Ok I feel I should apologise for my flippant comment there about the sweet tea thing.

Hope you have a relaxing day with your family ❤️

You just love avoiding questions that you don’t have answer for. Don’t think we don’t see it.

He helped her strip the bed. All she was left to do was put it in the washing machine. She also then chose to make the bed again, she could have left that for him.

Why is it so strange to some women that other women do not mind helping their husbands out?

Unless they are specifically for incontinence problems they are totally permeable too.

What haven’t I answered?

I did she needs to answer mine which she conveniently hasn't "What has he done for her that she can do herself?".

Again, you’re not answering the question. If it’s such a simple, easy task, why does your husband need help with it? Why can’t he do it?

So you don’t have an answer. As I expected.

Goodness me, I feel your pain, I grew up sharing a bed with my younger sister until we were teenagers. She used to regularly wet the bed until she was 9-10. It was horrible.
YANBU at all. A quick

‘I’ll put the first wash on, could you sort the rest in between meetings whilst I take the kids out of your hair? I’m so sorry this happened, I’ll get checked out by the doctor and make it up to you later.’

would have been better than just swanning off to the beach!

Lady. I answered your question.

I genuinely believe that I live in an equal partnership with my DH and it’s no skin off my nose to help him out without his asking. My turn to be helped will come around.

The OP has admitted previously that there is other underlying resentment. So this is not about the bed sheets. Normal healthy people in normal healthy relationships do not get worked up like this over a load of washing.

You haven’t answered the question. Why would your husband need help to wash his pissy sheets?

What are you talking about now it was an example. How's your husband or boyfriend is he ok?

Eh? I wasn’t one who asked you about your husband/boyfriend?

Here is OP’s question that you and @Worriedsickmostofthetime just can’t answer:

So let’s say the division of household chores leave me with the cleaning of the floors.
one day he walks through the house with muddy boots on. Does he just get to leave it there, waiting for me to clean it? Or should he sort out the mess he made himself?
and what if he usually cleans the toilet? I get a dodgy tummy and leave a mess that isn’t sorted with a flush. Do I just leave it? Because that’s his job, yeah?

Go get some fresh air mate, sounds like you need it.

Got plenty. At the beach with the kids

That question wasn't for me. I answer it I was ill over the Christmas holidays and vomited in the bathroom my partner cleaned the bathroom he didn't demand I clean it he just did it. He didn't want the children catching my flu. I would do the same thing for him. Why wouldn't I we are a team.

Because I would want to help him! How is this so hard to understand. Must I make him do it simply because he physically can? Or is it ok for me to just do it because I genuinely want to help him with a chore? Why is this so hard to grasp. We are a team and we help each other. That means recognizing when you can step up and do something for another person without getting angry about it and roasting him on the internet and giving him a stern talking to like I’m raising another child.

If I leak menstrual blood on the sheets it doesn’t mean that it’s MY job to wash the sheets.

Again, in your examples, you have either had a baby or were sick. OP’s husband was not sick, therefore totally capable of washing his own piss. What is so hard to understand about that?

Just your language… pissy sheets … absolutely reeks of venom and disgust.

I simply do not feel that way about my husband or an accidental spill of his bodily fluids.

if you live in a space where this works for you and your husband then good for you. I would suggest that OP is more like you than me.

Honestly, please get off here and see your family. It's really important to maintain connections in real life sometimes

I still don’t get why he needs help as you say it’s such a simple task. It’s easier for the person whose piss it is to pick up piss drenched sheets.

But whatever, it’s your prerogative to help him. But then why imply other women are not good partners because they would expect their husband’s to do it? Why so judgemental about other women but then expect your own actions to be understandable?

There is just something so classy about a woman who uses the word piss as you do so frequently.