Partner has wet the bed…

[WFHbore2023]

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

This is a weird thread.

Why does wetting the bed lead to 4 loads of laundry?

Why are you calling it "soiled laundry" as if he's pooped in it too?

Why are you angry?

Because I love my husband my first thought would be concern and to reassure him not to be embarrassed. I'd happily chuck a load of laundry on for him, no big deal and without either of us saying anything. And why the hell would I "insist" on him "talking about it" with me. What's there to talk about? He had a deeply mortifying accident that he's likely hoping and praying is a one off! What else do you want him to say?

Your reaction is odd.

STOP! Put it all in bin bags outside. He can ring a laundry to collect it it take it to the launderette. There are massive machines at petrol stations in towns and very rural areas. It will be dry ready for him to put back on the bed.
If not ready, you mention a spare bed. If it is double you both sleep in there tonight. If single you go in, he can sort himself out.
I am intrigued though, if you don’t have spares how do you normally launder your bedding?

I get that you feel he’s left it to you. This must come from a place of him doing this many times in the past. This hasn’t just appeared from nowhere about a guy who consistently works 50/50 with you.

Our dog peed in our superking bed when she was a puppy. It was annoying AF and I had to soak the pee up with bicarb and wash all the bedding including the duvet. It was pretty easy and didn’t dominate my day. I think you just need to speak to him because this isn’t about the fact you’re doing four loads of washing.

The same partner who said they'd think all women are devils? 😂 sounds great, happy for you 👍

Really strange OP bashing on this thread. I’m beginning to wonder if some replies are AI generated - who thinks “I know, I’ll be the 12th person to ask if she does her washing in a stream, haha”?

Was he drunk last night? Could be hiding his drinking?

They are definitely not AI given what the I stands for.

I do all the laundry in my house so my husband would probably let me get on and clean up too, although, I would be more worried about the possible causes in a quite young bloke than the washing

Yeah I think this is it, if my hubby did this and then rushed out without a word I wouldn't think twice about sorting it, because I'd assume that was his way of dealing with the embarrassment. But he always does at least 50/50 and I have never felt he leaves stuff to me.

That would boil my piss too. I’d have told him to either wash the wet bedding or take it to the tip and go and buy replacements! Lazy sod who thinks you’re his Mother! He probably is embarrassed but by leaving this to you to sort, he’s being a child. He needs a blood test and prostrate check by the way.

He meant it as a joke and it did make me laugh. This thread reminded me of what he said years ago. He has 3 lovely daughters who he loves and adores. I will be spending the afternoon and evening laughing and joking with my family. We don't take ourselves seriously you should try it someday. The only time I am serious is when their health is affected.

You are massively overplaying (and underloading) a few loads of washing.
It’s laughable that you are pretending that the washing is affecting your work - but all of this messaging isn’t.
Your anger at the lack of being asked if you could do the washing by your husband says a lot more about you than him, not in a good way.
There has to be more of a problem with your relationship than this one incident?

Well I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone tried to tell you wetting the bed was some sort of proof he must be having an affair or having sordid sex dreams. Clearly none of them have ever raised a son. Really makes you wonder the quality of men some if these people replying have been out with 😂

I’m amazed OP that you carried on trying to explain why you were pissed off to all the hard-of-comprehension posters on here!

You are perfectly reasonable to be pissed off at your entitled partner.

This thread is more about feminism than it is about male prostate health. My partner made another joke he is full of them he said "the reason why there is more women than men in a care home is because their wives wiped them out." I can't disprove his theory can I. The ops husband will end up as another statistic and she will be in a care home talking to herself.

Goodness me, what a hop, skip and a jump to end up at that conclusion.

Your husband makes shit jokes, that wasn’t even funny. He is full of it alright.

It’s actually because men won’t go to the doctors when something’s not right.

Did your husband tell you to write that weird response to my post? Are you ok?

I don’t think needlessly adding to landfill is a great idea. A good hot wash and bio detergent should suffice.

It's true care homes are full of women you might see one or two men.

What's most entertaining is the fact you are pissing and moaning about having to wash bedding (and let's be honest the machine washes it) while you are working and yet you seem to have plenty of time (while working) to come on here and gripe and whinge to a load of strangers and then reply to them. I hope you work for ur self otherwise your boss is being totally ripped off.

No he said it years ago he's out working at the moment. I am sorry if I hit a nerve.

I do wish you’d at least have read my posts.
I’ve clearly explained why I was able to engage during part of my working day.

The men in my life visit the doctors if they found something wrong. Ops husband might be scared of the results if he did visit the doctor. Some women are scared to get smear tests or get blood tests done by the nurse in case it's bad news. Some people need a hand hold and if you say you love someone you would support them in getting checked.