Page 22 | Partner has wet the bed…

WFHbore2023 · 2025-05-30T13:31:47+00:00

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor. woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower. I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding. AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

SquashedMallow · 31/05/2025 09:02

Pallisers · 31/05/2025 00:13

She is plenty concerned about her DH. She said in her OP that they agreed he should go to the doctor. She was nice to him after this happened.

Is it only for women that "concern" translates into " you are now responsible for washing and drying four loads of laundry and dh gets a pass because ... man?"

I love the idea that you are shallow if you don't want to do the laundry for your husband.

Show quote history

He took the kids out FFS! He hardly slipped off down the pub. If he was wetting the bed nightly after too much booze, this would be a totally different story. But this is a one off as far as we know. He's probably terribly embarrassed. I think, due to the fact it's a one off, the washing shouldn't be the main focus here.

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 09:21

WFHbore2023 · 31/05/2025 06:43

This is insane.

you think that both of us have confused actual urine with an ‘excitable morning glory moment’ ?
🤣

Show quote history

The defensive blathering from people who are ranting about whether posting on mumsnet the moment something happened versus hours later is hilarious. Presumably because the pearl clutchers are the ones who document every tiny inconvenience on MN and think doing so is normal. Why on earth are you posting this story at all? And certainly before you've even really talked to your husband about it!!! It's "insane" to be spreading your dirty laundry (ahem) all over a social media site - particularly when your main gripe appears to be that he didn't do the laundry. You could have just posted that rather than dumping the extra load of info about the wetting the bet element.

As for what substance it was: many many many people are so utterly ignorant that they wouldn't have the first clue - they'd just know it was wet. Indeed there are a lot of women out there who don't even know that men can have wet dreams. And if you are as judgmental about sex as you are about everything else then it's quite possible he did, in fact have a wet dream about someone else and then peed the bed to cover it up because he'd rather deal with a question about pee than a question about semen. Weirder things have happened. He certainly doesn't seem too worried about the situation, which is curious given men are usually absolutely obsessed about their genitals working effectively and would be horrified at the notion of potentially wetting themselves without warning. Your husband doesn't appear to be concerned in the slightest. Ask yourself why...

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 09:26

Nominative · 31/05/2025 07:59

How do you make out that it was OP's "first thought" to complain on here and that she was "that quick" to go to MN when she posted after 2 pm about something that happened first thing that morning?

Show quote history

Her only complaint is about the washing. It's unusual to suddenly wet the bed. My first worry would be what underlying issue is there. The laundry wouldn't come close to my thoughts. Maybe she don't like her husband 🤷

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 31/05/2025 09:26

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 09:21

The defensive blathering from people who are ranting about whether posting on mumsnet the moment something happened versus hours later is hilarious. Presumably because the pearl clutchers are the ones who document every tiny inconvenience on MN and think doing so is normal. Why on earth are you posting this story at all? And certainly before you've even really talked to your husband about it!!! It's "insane" to be spreading your dirty laundry (ahem) all over a social media site - particularly when your main gripe appears to be that he didn't do the laundry. You could have just posted that rather than dumping the extra load of info about the wetting the bet element.

As for what substance it was: many many many people are so utterly ignorant that they wouldn't have the first clue - they'd just know it was wet. Indeed there are a lot of women out there who don't even know that men can have wet dreams. And if you are as judgmental about sex as you are about everything else then it's quite possible he did, in fact have a wet dream about someone else and then peed the bed to cover it up because he'd rather deal with a question about pee than a question about semen. Weirder things have happened. He certainly doesn't seem too worried about the situation, which is curious given men are usually absolutely obsessed about their genitals working effectively and would be horrified at the notion of potentially wetting themselves without warning. Your husband doesn't appear to be concerned in the slightest. Ask yourself why...

Show quote history

the bed wetting was relevant to the post because that’s what has caused the additional laundry…I’m not moaning about a few pairs of jeans and socks being left to me, run of the mill laundry isn’t an issue.

whats also insane is your need to try and insult me - he MUST have pissed himself to cover up having a sex dream about someone else? 🤣
I can assure you that it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if he had a sex dream, I know he finds me very attractive so I have no qualms there. Good try though.
the whole point of of my previous post was that no, posting on here was not my first thought. I’d had many in the six hours between it happening and posting.

OP posts:

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:32

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 09:26

Her only complaint is about the washing. It's unusual to suddenly wet the bed. My first worry would be what underlying issue is there. The laundry wouldn't come close to my thoughts. Maybe she don't like her husband 🤷

Show quote history

It's posts like this which is why I'd never admit to anyone in real life that I post on MN 😬

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:33

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 09:21

The defensive blathering from people who are ranting about whether posting on mumsnet the moment something happened versus hours later is hilarious. Presumably because the pearl clutchers are the ones who document every tiny inconvenience on MN and think doing so is normal. Why on earth are you posting this story at all? And certainly before you've even really talked to your husband about it!!! It's "insane" to be spreading your dirty laundry (ahem) all over a social media site - particularly when your main gripe appears to be that he didn't do the laundry. You could have just posted that rather than dumping the extra load of info about the wetting the bet element.

As for what substance it was: many many many people are so utterly ignorant that they wouldn't have the first clue - they'd just know it was wet. Indeed there are a lot of women out there who don't even know that men can have wet dreams. And if you are as judgmental about sex as you are about everything else then it's quite possible he did, in fact have a wet dream about someone else and then peed the bed to cover it up because he'd rather deal with a question about pee than a question about semen. Weirder things have happened. He certainly doesn't seem too worried about the situation, which is curious given men are usually absolutely obsessed about their genitals working effectively and would be horrified at the notion of potentially wetting themselves without warning. Your husband doesn't appear to be concerned in the slightest. Ask yourself why...

Show quote history

And this one. Wtf 😂😂😂😂

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 09:40

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/05/2025 02:56

"Maybe you just lack care and empathy for others. Or maybe you're projecting because nobody cares enough about you to help you"

Was that necessary? That was quite, shockingly, nasty. 😢

"When my husband's stoma literally exploded at his friend's, his friend put his clothes in the wash while he showered and sorted himself out, and lent him some bits while his clothes were washed and dried."

While awful, you are bringing in an over the top situation as a comparison. This thread is about someone who peed the bed then toddled off leaving his wife to take care of it. Nowhere near the horror of your dh's situation.
I take it the trauma of your dh's ordeal is still raw for you as why else would you project?
I'm sorry that happened to your dh. 💐

Show quote history

There could be something underlying going on with his prostate. He should get himself checked out it could be the start of worse to come if he doesn't catch it early enough. I wouldn't minimise him peeing the bed.

nomas · 31/05/2025 09:41

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 09:21

The defensive blathering from people who are ranting about whether posting on mumsnet the moment something happened versus hours later is hilarious. Presumably because the pearl clutchers are the ones who document every tiny inconvenience on MN and think doing so is normal. Why on earth are you posting this story at all? And certainly before you've even really talked to your husband about it!!! It's "insane" to be spreading your dirty laundry (ahem) all over a social media site - particularly when your main gripe appears to be that he didn't do the laundry. You could have just posted that rather than dumping the extra load of info about the wetting the bet element.

As for what substance it was: many many many people are so utterly ignorant that they wouldn't have the first clue - they'd just know it was wet. Indeed there are a lot of women out there who don't even know that men can have wet dreams. And if you are as judgmental about sex as you are about everything else then it's quite possible he did, in fact have a wet dream about someone else and then peed the bed to cover it up because he'd rather deal with a question about pee than a question about semen. Weirder things have happened. He certainly doesn't seem too worried about the situation, which is curious given men are usually absolutely obsessed about their genitals working effectively and would be horrified at the notion of potentially wetting themselves without warning. Your husband doesn't appear to be concerned in the slightest. Ask yourself why...

Show quote history

Why on earth are you posting this story at all? And certainly before you've even really talked to your husband about it!!! It's "insane" to be spreading your dirty laundry (ahem) all over a social media site - particularly when your main gripe appears to be that he didn't do the laundry. You could have just posted that rather than dumping the extra load of info about the wetting the bet element.

Why is it always that posters like you always bleat about the OP posting anonymously about her DH who has zero chance of being identified in real life but always minimise the DH’s ‘insane’ actions like ignoring his own pissy sheets? For you, a woman talking about it is worse than the man doing it. Ask yourself why…

And if you are as judgmental about sex as you are about everything else then it's quite possible he did, in fact have a wet dream about someone else and then peed the bed to cover it up because he'd rather deal with a question about pee than a question about semen. Weirder things have happened. He certainly doesn't seem too worried about the situation,

Right, so it’s all OP’s fault because she is a prude about sex and probably doesn’t have enough sex with him? Are you a man ‘Caligirl’?

Your husband doesn't appear to be concerned in the slightest. Ask yourself why...

Because he thinks he has a maid at home to clean up after him.

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:41

I can't get over that post, had a wet dream then immediately pissed to cover it up because op is clearly a prude about sex 🤣

nomas · 31/05/2025 09:44

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/05/2025 02:56

"Maybe you just lack care and empathy for others. Or maybe you're projecting because nobody cares enough about you to help you"

Was that necessary? That was quite, shockingly, nasty. 😢

"When my husband's stoma literally exploded at his friend's, his friend put his clothes in the wash while he showered and sorted himself out, and lent him some bits while his clothes were washed and dried."

While awful, you are bringing in an over the top situation as a comparison. This thread is about someone who peed the bed then toddled off leaving his wife to take care of it. Nowhere near the horror of your dh's situation.
I take it the trauma of your dh's ordeal is still raw for you as why else would you project?
I'm sorry that happened to your dh. 💐

Show quote history

Was that necessary? That was quite, shockingly, nasty. 😢

Yep, it’s always the posters who claim to be the most loving that say the nastiest things.

SquashedMallow · 31/05/2025 09:46

I think this post should be taken down to be honest.

A man that has never wet the bed before, wets the bed. And there's some really bullyish posts with more concern for fighting for feminism because the op stuck the laundry on, than there is for a man's potential health problems.

I feel awful for the people reading this that have stomas, catheters, disorders such as epilepsy or MS where they may both wee and poo the bed. To know that a whole host of people find it disgusting and 'ewwww' and would post it on Mumsnet and be more concerned over who is laundering the precious sheets.

Do you know what, if my husband did this and it was a one off out of the blue, I wouldn't give a shit about the laundry and sheets. I'd be more worried he'd had a TIA or a fit or something. My concern would be him. Fuck a bunch of replaceable cotton!!! Or the inconvenience of a bunch of washing ! And do you know what, I would launder it fur him to spare his blushes. Because, sometimes, it's not all about being a top feminist!

We're not talking about a bloke that's a raging beer drinker who's come home after a skinfull and urinated everywhere.

For a site that promotes feminism, there isn't half a lot of women soooo concerned about "oh my precious bedding" "oh my precious sheets" "oh my washing machine has been on all day"

It's also so fucking shallow. Get a grip !

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 09:50

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:32

It's posts like this which is why I'd never admit to anyone in real life that I post on MN 😬

Show quote history

Of course you wouldn't they would assume you hate men.

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:55

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 09:50

Of course you wouldn't they would assume you hate men.

Show quote history

Ah sorry, no, its because they'd assume I have no basic reading comprehension skills.

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 10:04

SquashedMallow · 31/05/2025 09:46

I think this post should be taken down to be honest.

A man that has never wet the bed before, wets the bed. And there's some really bullyish posts with more concern for fighting for feminism because the op stuck the laundry on, than there is for a man's potential health problems.

I feel awful for the people reading this that have stomas, catheters, disorders such as epilepsy or MS where they may both wee and poo the bed. To know that a whole host of people find it disgusting and 'ewwww' and would post it on Mumsnet and be more concerned over who is laundering the precious sheets.

Do you know what, if my husband did this and it was a one off out of the blue, I wouldn't give a shit about the laundry and sheets. I'd be more worried he'd had a TIA or a fit or something. My concern would be him. Fuck a bunch of replaceable cotton!!! Or the inconvenience of a bunch of washing ! And do you know what, I would launder it fur him to spare his blushes. Because, sometimes, it's not all about being a top feminist!

We're not talking about a bloke that's a raging beer drinker who's come home after a skinfull and urinated everywhere.

For a site that promotes feminism, there isn't half a lot of women soooo concerned about "oh my precious bedding" "oh my precious sheets" "oh my washing machine has been on all day"

It's also so fucking shallow. Get a grip !

They are doing it because their own lives are shit. If they can fuck up her marriage then they would feel better about themselves. They are pretending to be feminist's. The man could be in early stages of cancer but no the laundry is more important. I would have bought new bedding from Argos they can deliver the same day. My partner said to me a long time ago "if my mum wasn't a woman, I would think all women are devils."

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 31/05/2025 10:13

WFHbore2023 · 31/05/2025 09:26

the bed wetting was relevant to the post because that’s what has caused the additional laundry…I’m not moaning about a few pairs of jeans and socks being left to me, run of the mill laundry isn’t an issue.

whats also insane is your need to try and insult me - he MUST have pissed himself to cover up having a sex dream about someone else? 🤣
I can assure you that it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if he had a sex dream, I know he finds me very attractive so I have no qualms there. Good try though.
the whole point of of my previous post was that no, posting on here was not my first thought. I’d had many in the six hours between it happening and posting.

Show quote history

So what exactly is the issue about a load of washing that you normally do anyway? That it’s human urine? That you have to touch it? That you have to smell it? If it’s not the act of putting on a wash cycle then what is the actual problem?

If it was menstrual blood and it was your husbands turn to do the linen laundry would you grovel to check if he was ok to touch the sheets before you took the kids out?

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 31/05/2025 10:16

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 10:04

They are doing it because their own lives are shit. If they can fuck up her marriage then they would feel better about themselves. They are pretending to be feminist's. The man could be in early stages of cancer but no the laundry is more important. I would have bought new bedding from Argos they can deliver the same day. My partner said to me a long time ago "if my mum wasn't a woman, I would think all women are devils."

Show quote history

Some women are so caught up in the notion that men are useless shitheads that it makes me wonder why they are married or partnered up in the first place.

Helloworlditsmeagain · 31/05/2025 10:26

Megifer · 31/05/2025 09:55

Ah sorry, no, its because they'd assume I have no basic reading comprehension skills.

Show quote history

I have a wonderful partner and happy children. If my partner or children did something out of the ordinary I would support them. Their health matters more to me more than the laundry. I would be on the phone booking the appointment. The bedding can easily be replaced. However, my partner and children can not be replaced.

Pherian · 31/05/2025 10:47

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 14:41

we discussed that he needs to see a doctor this morning, and I have been very understanding to him.

i’m just sat here now, after spending my lunch break trying to find space to dry everything feeling a bit miffed that this has fallen to me without so much as a second being taken to ask if I’m alright to.

Show quote history

You sound just pissed off that he wet the bed. There could be a perfectly legitimate reason it happened due to a health issue.

Would you feel more comfortable if he was humiliated and grovelling.

So you have to wash the sheets. Get a grip woman. One day you’ll piss the bed too and someone else will have to clean it up.

Tinglytoes · 31/05/2025 10:50

If you are that bothered why didn’t you just say to him, “ I would like you to clear all of this please.”
It’s pretty simple tbh.

Cookie105 · 31/05/2025 10:51

Surely you just need to put it in the washer & dryer the machine does all the work I’d just get him to put it on the bed which is the worst bit when he gets home 🤔

Emmz1510 · 31/05/2025 10:56

Bessica1970 · 30/05/2025 14:33

But he hasn’t just gone out doing his own thing, he’s taken the kids out.

Yeah, but he should have put the bedding on for a wash first! Or would you give a hat and a balloon to the wonderful man who took his own kids out for the day and did his wife a favour? Get a grip. No way should any self respecting person leave their partner to clean up their mess.
Was he drinking OP?
He might need to seek medical attention.

Emmz1510 · 31/05/2025 10:57

Vroooooom · 30/05/2025 14:37

Could you work, whilst looking after the kids, if he’d sorted the bed though?

So is it an either/or situation? Either change the bedding or watch the kids? God forbid he should be expected to do both 🙄

Emmz1510 · 31/05/2025 10:59

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 14:57

and yet…it didn’t occur to him to do it himself.

Show quote history

I know right? These women on mumsnet are such useless men apologists! If it was such a simple task why didn’t he do it himself?

CosyLemur · 31/05/2025 11:04

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 15:33

No, it’s not where the conversation ended, but I didn’t think a full transcript was necessary.

he mentioned taking the kids out when he got out of the shower, in front of the kids. Couldn’t exactly tell him to clean his pissy sheets first.
also, as I’m sat working and trying to keep an eye of when loads are finishing etc I’m getting a bit more and more put out.

Show quote history

Why is it taking 4 loads to wash bedding? How small is your washing machine?
I wash all 3 kids and my bedding in a single load!
Duvets go to the launderette

Maybethisallthereis · 31/05/2025 11:06

Petitchat · 30/05/2025 21:07

Haven't you read the OP'S posts properly either?
They discussed his health and agreed that he should see his GP.

If doing the washing is "no biggie" why didn't he hang around a bit, do some himself then go out later?

Show quote history

I did read it but IMO I would be worried about him and it would take over any issue I had with putting washing in the machine! He took the kids out it wasn’t like he was out on a jolly! My job at home is the washing so even if it was the wet bed I wouldn’t mind!