Page 13 | Partner has wet the bed…

dementedmummy · 30/05/2025 18:26

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 18:15

Where on earth are you getting this from?

we had a conversation - I just haven’t written word for word what was said.

of course he told me why we needed to change the bed. Of course I asked if he felt ok. Of course we discussed him calling a doctor.

there was nothing embarrassing about the conversation - he was embarrassed that he’d had the accident, but not to tell me.

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I think that the OP is getting a bit of unfair stick. Doesn't sound to me like she is angry about the bed wetting. Also sounds like she is concerned enough to know DH is Stone cold sober and adult males don't usually wet the bed unless there is something going on and is chiving him along to the doctor. What I think she is concerned about is the fact the incident happened and her DH has went on his merry way taking the kids out so OP can work (well done DH) but without dealing with the aftermath of the incident - namely do sheets, duvet etc need binned or washed and dried with the over arching assumption that OP will both make the decision and deal with it? Would have taken 2 seconds to go OP will I bin these or do you think I can salvage them if I stick them in the wash? Or, I was going to take the kids out, if I stick these in the wash, can you hang them out? From my reading of this, it's not the actual need to wash and dry that's the issue, it's the expectation that OP will get her crystal ball out and deal with it while she is working while he is out with the kids (an activity I'm sure the op would rather be doing than a teams call and trying to get washing dried!) when he is a grown man that must surely understand that fresh bedding is needed to be able to sleep tonight and if he doesn't do it, communication on who should would be good!

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 18:27

InkWTF · 30/05/2025 18:25

In our house we all actually like each other.
Extra washing is just another thing that needs to be done. Unless intentional or result of stupidity we would just get on and wash it, not point the finger at the one who created the extra washing, whether it’s period blood, blood noses or in this case, wet sheets. If your waters broke when pregnant would you sort the washing out before heading to the hospital?
Your DH has taken the DC out, not headed off on a bender. He’s also probably embarrassed and possibly a little worried. Why are you so aggro over some washing?

Ah see, in our house I actually respect my partners time, so if I’d created additional loads of washing which needed to be done by a certain time but I didn’t feel able to do it as there was something else I’d rather do, I’d have simply checked that it was ok with him to do it.

OP posts:

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 18:28

dementedmummy · 30/05/2025 18:26

I think that the OP is getting a bit of unfair stick. Doesn't sound to me like she is angry about the bed wetting. Also sounds like she is concerned enough to know DH is Stone cold sober and adult males don't usually wet the bed unless there is something going on and is chiving him along to the doctor. What I think she is concerned about is the fact the incident happened and her DH has went on his merry way taking the kids out so OP can work (well done DH) but without dealing with the aftermath of the incident - namely do sheets, duvet etc need binned or washed and dried with the over arching assumption that OP will both make the decision and deal with it? Would have taken 2 seconds to go OP will I bin these or do you think I can salvage them if I stick them in the wash? Or, I was going to take the kids out, if I stick these in the wash, can you hang them out? From my reading of this, it's not the actual need to wash and dry that's the issue, it's the expectation that OP will get her crystal ball out and deal with it while she is working while he is out with the kids (an activity I'm sure the op would rather be doing than a teams call and trying to get washing dried!) when he is a grown man that must surely understand that fresh bedding is needed to be able to sleep tonight and if he doesn't do it, communication on who should would be good!

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all of this!

OP posts:

MzHz · 30/05/2025 18:30

Mrsbloggz · 30/05/2025 17:38

I wouldnt bother saying anything, actions speak louder than words, from now on I would waltz off to enjoy myself & leave him to do any unpleasant tasks. If he protests, laugh it off/make vague noises/kick it into the long grass. Every time something happens, think 'what would a man do' and do that.

Damned right!

latetothefisting · 30/05/2025 18:32

TomatoSandwiches · 30/05/2025 15:03

There's no woman here that in ops husbands shoes would have left him to deal with her urine soaked sheets and fucked off out.

He sould have at least put the first load in, he could have asked you nicely if you would help dry the stuff if he washed it all first, he could have taken responsibility for his mess and taken it to a laundrette but no, he just left it to op without a word.

It's disrespectful.

Edited

exactly, I've got no idea why so many handmaidens posters are so desperate to defend a complete stranger, to the point they're scrabbling around for the weakest excuses 'He would have disappointed the kids if he'd cancelled or just slightly delayed a trip that they didn't even know was going to happen.' 🙄

Since when is 'being embarrassed' an excuse to not do something?

Let alone the complete logic failure 'WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A BIG FUSS IT'SONLYSHOVINGSOMESHEETSINTHEMACHINE IT'S NOT HARD"
Yeah so it wouldn't have been hard for him to clean up after himself, then, would it?

Who do they think should have cleaned the sheets if he lived alone?

WitchesCauldron · 30/05/2025 18:32

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 14:31

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

Poor chap-give him a break.

Blueberry911 · 30/05/2025 18:33

Oh for god sake, call him your partner, but you're complaining about washing some bedding for you both. He didn't do it on purpose. You're only sticking it in a machine, you're not scrubbing it by hand surely?

ThisCraftyHelper · 30/05/2025 18:33

Molko1503 · 30/05/2025 18:20

Jeez all you’ve had to do is wash the bed! It’s not cause he was drunk. He’s not done it intentionally and probably mortified. And you’ve come on the internet to slag him off 😭 poor guy. I hope nothing is wrong with him.. but if there is I hope you feel ashamed of your reaction about some washing 😳 ‘for better or for worse. In sickness and in health’ I wouldn’t want you looking after me OP. Nurse Ratchet comes to mind 😭

Why does op have to wash the sheets? Is a grown man who wet the bed once that incapable of washing them? I take it you’re a HCP since you have medical advice?

justasking111 · 30/05/2025 18:33

Well I'm no wiser as to whether he has a GP appointment, did he make one before he went out with the kids?

Mix56 · 30/05/2025 18:34

BTW. Has he actually called the doctor ???

NamelessNancy · 30/05/2025 18:35

I didn't know I could dodge cleaning up after myself because I was embarrassed. Why did nobody tell me?

ticktickticktickBOOM · 30/05/2025 18:36

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 18:23

You don't get to play the I'm a widow card after comments like this:

"Well you seem to have plenty of time to spend 2 hours on here moaning about it, as well as washing and wfh.
No wonder he went out if he was gonna get this much stick for something that he potentially has no control over, and could be the sign of a serious illness.
You'll be doing all the washing and childcare if he gets properly unwell.
Count your blessings."

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There's nothing nasty about what I said. I'm saying count your blessings as I speak from experience.

The OP has spent hours online saying how she is far too busy to do some washing. It's disingenuous to say you are having a hellish day of washing when actually you are online for hours.

WitchesCauldron · 30/05/2025 18:38

Shellianotwheels · 30/05/2025 17:27

Could be signs of a serious illness… are you a doctor? A nurse? He pissed the bed once. Get over it. If you’re a doormat in your relationship that’s your problem but don’t expect other women to be pathetic mother’s to their grown adult husbands 🤢

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Jeez- someone's had a compassion bypass..

latetothefisting · 30/05/2025 18:39

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 18:11

Shoe on the other foot scenario:

Dear MN:
I am a husband and father and work from home. My wife has the day off today and planned to take the children out. I woke up today to a very wet bed. On inspection I saw my wife had gotten her period and there was blood everywhere. I woke up my wife and she helped me strip the bed. Then she showered, got the kids ready and has gone out for the day. AIBU to be pissed that she's left the laundry for me to sort.

let's be honest, most posters just like to disagree with the OP so if it had been

'I had a really heavy period and stained all the bed. Obviously I got up and stripped it but it was a nice day so I took the kids out. AIBU to be annoyed that DH didn't take the initiative to clean the bedding while he was WFH all day and just left them there?'

she would have been overrun with posters telling her how grim she was and that it was completely unreasonable to expect her DH to clean up after her without even asking him!

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 18:40

ticktickticktickBOOM · 30/05/2025 18:36

There's nothing nasty about what I said. I'm saying count your blessings as I speak from experience.

The OP has spent hours online saying how she is far too busy to do some washing. It's disingenuous to say you are having a hellish day of washing when actually you are online for hours.

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Can you show me where I’ve said I’m far too busy to do it?

OP posts:

Zippp · 30/05/2025 18:43

OP I feel for you. Massively inconsiderate and thoughtless of your DH. Either he is beside himself with worry (in which case I would cut him some slack) or he has no respect for you and your time and assumes that the magic fairy will clean up after him.

justasking111 · 30/05/2025 18:44

If it's a UTI and the bed is soaked again in the morning 🙈

Allseeingallknowing · 30/05/2025 18:44

Cucy · 30/05/2025 16:40

It wouldn’t bother me if my partner wet the bed.

I would be absolutely raging if he didn’t clean up after himself though.

You’re not his mother and he’s not a child, so I don’t understand how this is your problem to deal with.

A wet mattress would certainly bother me!

SalfordQuays · 30/05/2025 18:44

Has he got a GP appointment yet OP? I’m a GP and this would be considered something that needed a pretty prompt appointment.

ReacherOMGyes · 30/05/2025 18:44

Gosh! Only on AIBU would a woman get so much stick for being a bit miffed her DP has left her to clean HIS pissed wet through bed without so much as a thanks love.

Should have posted in relationships OP, lot less misogyny and anger in there

ThisCraftyHelper · 30/05/2025 18:45

A lot of doctors and nurses on here giving out their medical opinion I see, funny I thought we were in a shortage crisis.

Op if you’re reading you are not wrong to be angry at this. There seems to be a lot internalised misogyny in these comments. Heaven forbids a grown man is incapable of washing his own soiled sheets. I have no idea why they think it’s your problem. Or that he has some serious medical condition, because he wet the bed once and now you have to phone a doctor for me or take him immediately to A&E. I suspect they are just use to mothering their husbands. Ignore the haters 👍🏼

sheldonRockz · 30/05/2025 18:46

I completely get your annoyance OP - instead of checking you were ok to sort out the laundry loads, he’s just sorted himself and swanned off.

My DP did the same at a similar age as your DP. He’d been dreaming he was having a wee and was actually peeing the bed 😂, so we didn’t get any medical advice. However he helped strip the bed, get the bedding in the wash and also scrub the mattress. We laughed and joked over it, 5 years later and we still have a joke about it.

I’d deffo recommend getting a spare mattress protector so there’s always on on hand if you can’t get the first one dry in the day. We wash ours every week, so a second one is a godsend during the winter.

stampin · 30/05/2025 18:47

It's called 'being taken for granted'. It understandably breeds resentment.

ThisCraftyHelper · 30/05/2025 18:48

ticktickticktickBOOM · 30/05/2025 18:36

There's nothing nasty about what I said. I'm saying count your blessings as I speak from experience.

The OP has spent hours online saying how she is far too busy to do some washing. It's disingenuous to say you are having a hellish day of washing when actually you are online for hours.

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Well actually a lot of what you commented was nasty. You’re missing the whole point of Ops post. So what if she’s spent hours online, why is her husband’s soiled sheets her problem? Why does she have to wash them?

ThisCraftyHelper · 30/05/2025 18:49

NamelessNancy · 30/05/2025 18:35

I didn't know I could dodge cleaning up after myself because I was embarrassed. Why did nobody tell me?

I missed that memo too. We at least we all know now 🥳