Page 11 | Partner has wet the bed…

WFHbore2023 · 2025-05-30T13:31:47+00:00

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor. woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower. I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding. AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/05/2025 17:26

And I have to say that I have never mentioned my continence issues on MN before today, and I am grateful that no-one has flamed me for having this issue.

I hope that I can show that this isn’t some sordid, shameful problem - it’s not nice, and I hate it when it happens to me, but I try to be as understanding towards myself as I am towards other people who have this problem through no fault of their own.

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 30/05/2025 17:27

I’m glad my marriage is not tit-for-tat nonsense like this. We’re a team. We do things for each other.

imagine wanting your kids to miss out on a day at the beach because you don’t want to chuck some washing on for your partner.

Imbusytodaysorry · 30/05/2025 17:27

@WFHbore2023 i will try and find the other post for you . The posters on there were more understanding than the hard time you are getting for nothing.
It’s clearly deeper rooted . You should have said “no you will have to stay home with the kids today as you have your dirty laundry to wash”.
He is due you a lay in tomorrow and a day off .
Id talk to him about doing his own washing from
now on and stepping up more .

Shellianotwheels · 30/05/2025 17:27

ticktickticktickBOOM · 30/05/2025 17:20

Well you seem to have plenty of time to spend 2 hours on here moaning about it, as well as washing and wfh.

No wonder he went out if he was gonna get this much stick for something that he potentially has no control over, and could be the sign of a serious illness.

You'll be doing all the washing and childcare if he gets properly unwell.

Count your blessings.

Could be signs of a serious illness… are you a doctor? A nurse? He pissed the bed once. Get over it. If you’re a doormat in your relationship that’s your problem but don’t expect other women to be pathetic mother’s to their grown adult husbands 🤢

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 17:28

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/05/2025 17:26

And I have to say that I have never mentioned my continence issues on MN before today, and I am grateful that no-one has flamed me for having this issue.

I hope that I can show that this isn’t some sordid, shameful problem - it’s not nice, and I hate it when it happens to me, but I try to be as understanding towards myself as I am towards other people who have this problem through no fault of their own.

It’s honestly not the accident that’s the problem.

my bladder is far from being my best friend at times, and there have been times on a run where I’ve had accidents myself. I’m not ashamed of it.

but I also always clean up after myself, and if that wasn’t possible for any reason would have a conversation with my partner before expecting him to do it.

OP posts:

rwalker · 30/05/2025 17:29

HappyintheHills · 30/05/2025 16:54

Now most of us know that there’s a little more to it to get multiple loads washed and dried. don’t we?

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Tbf yes but if I meant the kids missing out on a day out I would of just cracked on

ticktickticktickBOOM · 30/05/2025 17:31

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 17:26

unless you are a dad, it would seem.

then you must take your children out and leave any additional housework to the mother.

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But you can't go out because you said you are working from home today.

Slow day for you I guess given the turning the machine on 4 times and spending a few hours on social media.

A lot of parents would be glad of the nice easy day you are having.

Original poster

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 17:31

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 30/05/2025 17:27

I’m glad my marriage is not tit-for-tat nonsense like this. We’re a team. We do things for each other.

imagine wanting your kids to miss out on a day at the beach because you don’t want to chuck some washing on for your partner.

Edited

you have seen the posts where I’ve said that simply asking me if I was ok to sort it would have been enough, yeah?

also, we go to this beach all the time. Frequently enough that my youngest has started to say she’s over going there.

they would have been absolutely fine with a different activity.

OP posts:

Feetinthegrass · 30/05/2025 17:33

Op most people would have checked, of course. No one walks out and just leaves a pissy bed without a word. He clearly thinks it’s your job.

Cucy · 30/05/2025 17:33

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 30/05/2025 17:27

I’m glad my marriage is not tit-for-tat nonsense like this. We’re a team. We do things for each other.

imagine wanting your kids to miss out on a day at the beach because you don’t want to chuck some washing on for your partner.

Edited

If I had wet the bed I would have at least stripped the bed and put one load of washing on before taking the kids out, it would have taken less than 5mins.

MzHz · 30/05/2025 17:34

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 14:41

we discussed that he needs to see a doctor this morning, and I have been very understanding to him.

i’m just sat here now, after spending my lunch break trying to find space to dry everything feeling a bit miffed that this has fallen to me without so much as a second being taken to ask if I’m alright to.

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Yanbu. Talk to him later and tell him that it was unreasonable of him to just dump that on you, and that he could at least acknowledge this.

glad he’s going to see the doc, could be prostate- my OH had similar

Feetinthegrass · 30/05/2025 17:34

I think he will say he changed the bed so did help or whatever, but did he really think the fairy would come and wash everything?

mukk · 30/05/2025 17:35

pimplebum · 30/05/2025 16:20

rather than get worked up just send him a text saying I’ve done 4 loads of washing while working can you bring home bottle of wine and puppy pads please as I am pissed if you left me with all of this

personally I’d be more worried about about his health and embarrassment and I’d just tell him when he gets home if it happens again he needs to take it all to the laundromat next time

Why would you try to degrade the man by telling him to bring home puppy pads?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/05/2025 17:35

@WFHbore2023 - apologies if you thought my last post was aimed at you - it was just intended as a general comment. I do think it was poor, on your dh’s part, to just leave you with all the washing, and you have every right to tell him so tonight, and to say he needs to sort it out, if it happens again.

Moier · 30/05/2025 17:35

I'd have just put the spare duvet on.. even the winter one back on for now.. taken wet one to laundry.. ..
Shoved cover/ sheet/ mattress protector in washer.
Make an appointment at GPs ASAP .. or taken a sample to walk in centre.
He might need antibiotics.
He's ill.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 17:35

Feetinthegrass · 30/05/2025 17:33

Op most people would have checked, of course. No one walks out and just leaves a pissy bed without a word. He clearly thinks it’s your job.

💯

Lifeofthepartay · 30/05/2025 17:35

Honestly? That would be the least of my worries.

Shellianotwheels · 30/05/2025 17:36

Moier · 30/05/2025 17:35

I'd have just put the spare duvet on.. even the winter one back on for now.. taken wet one to laundry.. ..
Shoved cover/ sheet/ mattress protector in washer.
Make an appointment at GPs ASAP .. or taken a sample to walk in centre.
He might need antibiotics.
He's ill.

He’s ill. From pissing the bed once? 😂😂😂😂

Feetinthegrass · 30/05/2025 17:37

Lifeofthepartay · 30/05/2025 17:35

Honestly? That would be the least of my worries.

Why are you catstropshising ??

Mrsbloggz · 30/05/2025 17:38

I wouldnt bother saying anything, actions speak louder than words, from now on I would waltz off to enjoy myself & leave him to do any unpleasant tasks. If he protests, laugh it off/make vague noises/kick it into the long grass. Every time something happens, think 'what would a man do' and do that.

HappyintheHills · 30/05/2025 17:38

rwalker · 30/05/2025 17:29

Tbf yes but if I meant the kids missing out on a day out I would of just cracked on

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They regularly go to that beach, so not a great treat.
Surely DH could arrange several shorter outings / do something at home so as to allow the only person in the household who’s actually working to crack on with the Teams nonsense without having to notice it’s time to pop out to pull the next load out, and hang it up and put the next one on on the correct program……

HappyintheHills · 30/05/2025 17:40

Moier · 30/05/2025 17:35

I'd have just put the spare duvet on.. even the winter one back on for now.. taken wet one to laundry.. ..
Shoved cover/ sheet/ mattress protector in washer.
Make an appointment at GPs ASAP .. or taken a sample to walk in centre.
He might need antibiotics.
He's ill.

How the fuck can she wander off to the local laundry mid work?
He could have dropped them off at a laundry on the way to the beach.

Megifer · 30/05/2025 17:47

WFHbore2023 · 30/05/2025 17:31

you have seen the posts where I’ve said that simply asking me if I was ok to sort it would have been enough, yeah?

also, we go to this beach all the time. Frequently enough that my youngest has started to say she’s over going there.

they would have been absolutely fine with a different activity.

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People are being deliberately obtuse op, it is pretty obvious it was him just fucking off out without so much as a "sorry love, I'll sort it", probably knowing you'd say it's fine, you go out etc.

At least, I'm assuming they are being deliberately obtuse, given you've explained that ^ very clearly a number of times.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 17:50

Shellianotwheels · 30/05/2025 17:27

Could be signs of a serious illness… are you a doctor? A nurse? He pissed the bed once. Get over it. If you’re a doormat in your relationship that’s your problem but don’t expect other women to be pathetic mother’s to their grown adult husbands 🤢

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This. ☝️

Woman works, but must manage 4 odd loads laundry during her work day because DH is juggling the kids.
What mother has never had to do laundry and handle the kids at the same time because the husband is, oh, I don't know...working.
OP's scenario strikes me as one in which DH thinks when he has the kids it's a huge task.

Obv OP "got on with it" because as women that's what we do, but Christ on a bike the number of posts here giving the husband a pass is unbelievable. 😵‍💫

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 17:53

Mrsbloggz · 30/05/2025 17:38

I wouldnt bother saying anything, actions speak louder than words, from now on I would waltz off to enjoy myself & leave him to do any unpleasant tasks. If he protests, laugh it off/make vague noises/kick it into the long grass. Every time something happens, think 'what would a man do' and do that.

Absolutely love this.

Hmmmm, What would a man do? 🤔😂