To be annoyed at DP for spending his bonus on qualifications?

[LeonaStep]

DP and I work for the same company and both get an annual bonus.

We had discussed spending this years on a holiday - however he has decided he will spend the bulk of his on some professional qualifications as he is exploring a career change.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed? He isn’t set on this change but says the qualifications will help him if he proceeds. He’ll be spending c.£1700 and remaining bonus won’t allow us to go to where we had planned. Feels a lot of money to potentially waste?

This.

Thank you, he has done research and would look to go down an employed route and whilst he isn’t heavily sales minded he says there are some positions (from speaking with recruiters etc) that are just servicing existing client banks as opposed to seeking new business etc x

I don't know this area but surely no company is going to hand over their existing client bank to a new employee with no experience? If he's not keen on selling roles then I wouldn't be sure this role was for him. Also is he going to be earning while doing these qualifications? Is he really going to have time to do them and a full time job?

I'd want the holiday but at the end of the day it's his money I guess, why don't you spend your bonus going on a lovely holiday by yourself?

Employed route is definitely safer, so that’s good. And it is possible to earn bonuses/earn a good salary if you do well.

Honestly though, I’ve never seen a financial advisor role that doesn’t have sales targets. Even servicing existing client banks - he won’t just be providing advice and checking their investments/policies still suit, he’ll be expected to get them to buy new products/invest more etc.

I’ve now left the industry but I was an Underwriting Manager/Claims Technician for 18 years. I spent half my working life talking to financial advisors 😅 Underwriting was about bringing in new clients but also selling to the existing client banks. The ones helping clients with their Claims hated it because it took time away from doing work towards their targets, unless they could persuade the claimants to reinvest.

I’ve never seen a financial advisor role that doesn’t have sales targets of some description- and if you’re not that way inclined, that’s HARD. My DP used to work in finance services (banking and then car insurance, so different industries than me). He left because he always had sales targets - and he was just in customer service rather than pure sales.

I would say to him to really look beyond what recruiters are telling him. You have to have a certain personality to do well as a financial advisor, and certainly sales is part of that, particularly if he’s wanting to progress.

Thanks, this is really useful! He does love speaking about money management, budgeting etc and I know that’s not exactly the same as that role but it’s an element for sure when it comes to planning etc. He is a people person too so I can see why he’s attracted to it. His thinking is that it would be a safe career long term too and potentially lucrative.

I'd be interested in the nature of the change too, but even so it could mean that everyday life feels more like a holiday to him.

I specialised in a niche area of my previous role. I earn the same amount of money but less good prospects. We go on far fewer holidays - but I feel like I need a holiday much less! I'm happy with long weekends.

From a holiday surely you just want to spend time together in the sun maybe a beach. But ultimately relax together. You can def do this on what you have left. You sound like you would nag him the whole time aswell. You prob are nice but you come across as quite spoilt if I'm honest. DP is clearly looking at the future and using a bonus in this way is clever.

I would be annoyed if he said that he was going to use it for a holiday and then changed his mind without discussing it , especially if you had made arrangements and were looking forward to it.
Can you do a shorter holiday at the location that you want to go?
I suppose educationing himself is brilliant if it is for a definite career change .

After reading all these comments and the poll sitting at 97% for YABU, do you feel any different or are you still annoyed with him?

I think if you had both already discussed and agreed a certain holiday, it would certainly be annoying for DH to change his mind and spend some bonus on something else. If he does want to change career, and is actually serious about it, I would support and maybe keep your own bonuses to yourself to spend as you wish this year. You could then potentially still either go on holiday with a friend, or treat yourself to something for you. YANBU to be annoyed, especially when a purpose for the money had already been discussed

If really he wants to be something like an IFA, would he not be better doing CFA or CISI? DH is in the investment advice space and they all do IMC and CISI or CFA.

Also - what does he do now? Its not an easy industry to get into. You need to be able to build up a book of clients, and its bloody terrible for being full of public school old boys, ex military, landed types, its hugely about who you know. Money is really sticky, people dont move without good reason.

A holiday is over very soon
A qualification is much more useful

You are being very short sighted.

Have your holiday somewhere cheaper this year with gratitude in your heart.

'Potentially waste'. How does your husband feel when you put him down like this?
Call me old fashioned but my love and I support one another because that's what husbands and wives do, right?

Tell me you dont know much about it without telling me...
What field do you work in that this is the case?
My partner's field has many additional qualifications that are very higly valued (and very difficult to pass). There are equally some in teaching- so that's two industries between me and him. Where do you work that requires no education at all once you get the job, sounds fabulous and low effort!

Wow if this was a man saying this about his wife all he'll would break loose! Qualifications are NEVER a waste. It will give him confidence and help him decide if the career change is for him. If the holiday is so important pay for him out of YOUR wages or go alone and leave him to study in peace.

As an FCII I think it's a damn sight better way to spend a bonus that throwing it away on a holiday.
YABU.

I put my bonus away, that I get every 3 months, for that very purpose. Better quals, better career prospects, more money, better retirement.
I think it’s very sensible. I wish I had done that in my 20s.

Holidays are great but think of the hols you could have if, with good qualifications, you could double or triple your earnings!

Wait, what??

Can’t see the issue. Go to the prefered location next year?

In fairness, the OP describes him as a partner, not a husband.

I wonder a bit if he is expecting wifely devotion from a woman he isn’t married to.

I may be projecting. Many years ago I lent a boyfriend several thousand to do a masters. Several months in to his graduate job, he announced that he wanted to be a pilot and was going to “do nothing” for ten months, save £500 a month, and get his pilot’s license. He (and his parents) were astounded when I said that as he owed me £4.5k, he needed to pay me back first. I wasn’t supporting him enough, you see?

If my hubby did this I would applause him for not wasting it now get annoyed because we could easily have a cheaper holiday elsewhere

I would say your circumstances were completely different. Of your course your boyfriend should pay you back first, and I'm astonished by his parents' reaction. Which is odd when you wonder why they didn't lend him the £4.5K in the first place! I hope you got every penny back.