Page 4 | To be annoyed at DP for spending his bonus on qualifications?

LeonaStep · 2025-05-29T20:00:11+00:00

DP and I work for the same company and both get an annual bonus. We had discussed spending this years on a holiday - however he has decided he will spend the bulk of his on some professional qualifications as he is exploring a career change. AIBU to feel a bit miffed? He isn’t set on this change but says the qualifications will help him if he proceeds. He’ll be spending c.£1700 and remaining bonus won’t allow us to go to where we had planned. Feels a lot of money to potentially waste?

TheLostStargazer · 30/05/2025 08:11

A professional qualification is an investment and will likely provide returns in a higher salary.
invest now and have better holidays in the future.

Spirallingdownwards · 30/05/2025 08:13

LeonaStep · 30/05/2025 08:04

No - it’s in a different field unrelated to our current one which I don’t have an interest in.

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But you do realise he is allowed to have an interest in it.

My DH had to take a pay cut when he became a partner at his firm because of how the lockstep into profits worked over his salary as a salaried partner. It was a short term lower pay to get to the point where he now earns at least 4 times what he was.

I had to step away from earning altogether and together we stashed cash to afford to live and pay for childcare while I took a year out to do a professional qualification whicj was in effect career and lifr changing for me. It's how life is sometimes. Fortunately we both supported each other as partners during that time.

Barbiewhirl · 30/05/2025 08:14

The only realm he'd be unreasonable in would be if only he had a bonus then potentially could see a point for it being a bit harsh to not add it to the pot if you have family money; but as you both get one sounds a sensible way for him to spend his. Can you go on the holiday alone or compromise and go somewhere else?

babyproblems · 30/05/2025 08:15

A holiday is definitely the definition of a ‘waste of money’ imo!!

nomas · 30/05/2025 08:17

I can understand it’s disappointing that it affects your holiday plans. Is there an expectation that you would pay for his holiday?

Could you go on holiday with a friend? Or bank your money in your own savings account and go with DP on a cheaper holiday this year, but agree with him that you’ll both do your holiday together next year?

GreyCarpet · 30/05/2025 08:18

It's all about perspective isn't it?

I wouldn't consider a professional qualification with a view to a career change to be a waste of money.

An expensive holiday on the other hand...

CelestialGazer · 30/05/2025 08:19

A CII qualification will be very valuable, and so I agree with others that YABVU. Presumably he will also have to do a lot of studying, so his investment will be more than just money, but his time too. You should be pleased and supportive that he wants to better himself, not begrudge the fact that you won’t be able to have the holiday you had hoped for.

Anabellie · 30/05/2025 08:22

Would his employer contribute towards the cost of the course?

HerNeighbourTotoro · 30/05/2025 08:24

TammyJones · 29/05/2025 21:10

I agree to you op.
unless he is set on a career change it sounds like a self indulgent wim.

I mean OP said he was, and at any ratehow is more knowledge a disadvantage?

HerNeighbourTotoro · 30/05/2025 08:27

LeonaStep · 30/05/2025 08:04

No - it’s in a different field unrelated to our current one which I don’t have an interest in.

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If I was with a spouse as you, seemingly very unambitious and stopping my personal and professional development, Id be rethinking the relationship. Are you jealous he aaspires to something more than the job you are both doing at the moment?
Go and blow all your money on a holiday just for you- it's an option.

Moonlightexpress · 30/05/2025 08:29

missmollygreen · 29/05/2025 21:03

Surely a holiday is more of a waste than professional qualifications?

Or is this a reverse?

There's no point asking if this is a reverse. Anything can be a reverse!! It doesn't change the issue on the thread 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

MalcolmMoo · 30/05/2025 08:30

I mean what he has done sounds more sensible than a holiday.

Profpudding · 30/05/2025 08:32

The days of qualifications being more valuable than actual experience and skills are long gone. People are no longer falling for the cons of paying £1700 for a piece of paper. Mainly because the pieces of paper can be quite easily forged and bought online.
I don’t think I’d bother doing my professional quals any more, They seem to count for shit

Original poster

LeonaStep · 30/05/2025 08:33

Profpudding · 30/05/2025 08:32

The days of qualifications being more valuable than actual experience and skills are long gone. People are no longer falling for the cons of paying £1700 for a piece of paper. Mainly because the pieces of paper can be quite easily forged and bought online.
I don’t think I’d bother doing my professional quals any more, They seem to count for shit

It’s a minimum requirement for the career he’s looking at

OP posts:

eone · 30/05/2025 08:37

I support your DP on this. It is investing in your future.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/05/2025 08:42

Profpudding · 30/05/2025 08:32

The days of qualifications being more valuable than actual experience and skills are long gone. People are no longer falling for the cons of paying £1700 for a piece of paper. Mainly because the pieces of paper can be quite easily forged and bought online.
I don’t think I’d bother doing my professional quals any more, They seem to count for shit

Not in every sector. In my last workplace, unless you were doing basic admin you would not even be considered for an HR role without CIPD. In my current workplace, you would not be considered for a Project Manager role without an appropriate qualification.

lightslittle · 30/05/2025 08:43

Profpudding · 30/05/2025 08:32

The days of qualifications being more valuable than actual experience and skills are long gone. People are no longer falling for the cons of paying £1700 for a piece of paper. Mainly because the pieces of paper can be quite easily forged and bought online.
I don’t think I’d bother doing my professional quals any more, They seem to count for shit

This is such a sweeping statement. That may be the case for your industry but there will be many many many others it’s not

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 30/05/2025 08:47

If the company is able to pay £1700 on a bonus, surely the company pays fairly decent wages ?
unless you are both 18 on on a young person's min wage.

Can you not afford a holiday with what you currently earn ?

BoredZelda · 30/05/2025 08:50

I kind of understand where OP is coming from. If this was a solid plan and he was known for following through, I’m sure it would be fine. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. If it is a pie in the sky idea with no real plan, then it may well be a waste.

My husband took voluntary redundancy about 15 years ago as he hated where he was working. He was full of great ideas of what he would do and decided he needed a Prince 2 qualification. I was a bit concerned as it doesn’t seem like his role needed it, and the role it is suited for is always something he didn’t like. But it was all the rage at the time and recruitment agents said it would benefit him. He spent a good chunk of his redundancy money on it, and I’m not actually sure he finished the course. It took him 7 months to find a job in his field and when he did it was part time, with a reduced payment we really struggled for money until he found a second part time job. It was another 3 years before he got back to the same salary he’d been on before. He’s now in a job he loves, but he’s never needed that qualification to get it.

I’d be thinking twice if he wanted to do the same again.

MellowPinkDeer · 30/05/2025 08:52

Why do you think it’s ok to dictate what his bonus is spent on? You didn’t earn it!! I think it’s great he wants to invest in himself. I don’t understand why you’d feel otherwise.

ExpressCheckout · 30/05/2025 08:55

Well, it's his money, so it's up to him, isn't it?

@LeonaStep it’s in a different field unrelated to our current one which I don’t have an interest in

Can you explain this point a bit more?

MumWifeOther · 30/05/2025 08:56

Seems very sensible to me.

Original poster

LeonaStep · 30/05/2025 08:58

ExpressCheckout · 30/05/2025 08:55

Well, it's his money, so it's up to him, isn't it?

@LeonaStep it’s in a different field unrelated to our current one which I don’t have an interest in

Can you explain this point a bit more?

It was a reply to someone asking whether I could do the same qualification.

I could - but it’s not a career change I’d pursue

OP posts:

LillyPJ · 30/05/2025 09:00

'Potentially waste' or good investment? It could benefit you both in the end. I'd say let him spend his bonus on what he likes and you spend yours your way.

Youdontseehow · 30/05/2025 09:01

Profpudding · 30/05/2025 08:32

The days of qualifications being more valuable than actual experience and skills are long gone. People are no longer falling for the cons of paying £1700 for a piece of paper. Mainly because the pieces of paper can be quite easily forged and bought online.
I don’t think I’d bother doing my professional quals any more, They seem to count for shit

Absolute nonsense. There are additional qualifications in my field that are highly regulated and no one could progress at all without them. We are talking certain professional careers not less skilled jobs where you can “work up” the factory floor so to speak - actual training/qualifications needed prior to doing the role.