To be annoyed at DP for spending his bonus on qualifications?

[LeonaStep]

DP and I work for the same company and both get an annual bonus.

We had discussed spending this years on a holiday - however he has decided he will spend the bulk of his on some professional qualifications as he is exploring a career change.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed? He isn’t set on this change but says the qualifications will help him if he proceeds. He’ll be spending c.£1700 and remaining bonus won’t allow us to go to where we had planned. Feels a lot of money to potentially waste?

His bonus, his career, his choice. YABU.

It’s hard to see the bigger picture when you’re disappointed. I don’t think either of ye are wrong. A holiday would be a lovely reward for the hard work and ye are chid free so it’s perfect timing .However future plans and investments are important too.

I think a holiday is a waste of money personally. Two weeks away then it's gone forever. I never regretted the money I spent on my education and qualifications.
Why not just go on a cheaper holiday.

From what Op said, he is unsure about the career change so, as they're a partnership, it seems more of a general discussion with him about that would be good for both of them rather than him spending time and money doing courses for a career he may never pursue. Of course if he is really keen then he should go for the course and OP should do the holiday without him.

• Are your finances shared or separate?
• You say “DP”—is it fair to assume you aren’t married?
• How far down the holiday track were you? Making deposits or whimsically saying that it would be great to spend bonuses on a holiday?

FWIW, I “opt out” of my bonus, and it goes tax-free into my pension. I’d be pretty irked if DH asked me to spend it on a holiday.

How do your finances usually work? If he's going to have to take a pay cut to start with how's he funding that? ..yes he may then earn more .. but maybe not..is the expectation that you will pick up the slack ? Or are you making sure that its not going to affect your life..
It sounds very much all for his benefit financially and very one sided...
With dh we were an all in the pot irrespective of source and made bug decisions together..
Previous relationships it was very split financially with 'household running account ' that contributed to proportionately so I paid x to that and funded my qualifications separately... However I would not have committed to a holiday as well if I couldn't afford both..
Sounds like he's overcommitted and now has chosen what suits him rather than what was agreed for you both...
I would be upset too ..and also thinking about tge balance in the relationship

Investing in your career/education is never a waste. Certainly not in the current climate with AI looming as well as continuing offshoring. The more strings to your bow, the better, the more qualifications, broadening experience, etc., to put yourself in the best possible position when more UK firms offshore their admin/technical work to the Far East or other emerging countries, and when more and more is done by AI rather than people.

Very few people these days stay in the same firm or same type of work for their entire working lives. The more flexible you are in terms of what you know and what you can do, the more chance of getting better jobs and finding new employment when your existing role becomes redundant.

I believe that money spent on furthering your education & qualification is money well spent.

You never know when qualifications will come in handy

Lots of jobs have transferable skills

What actually are the qualifications? Ime once you get beyond about 10 years experience in a career path it is the experience that drives what you are paid, more so than additional qualifications. A lot of people are comforted by the feeling that qualifications must be "worth" something but most are not.
Examples:

• a masters degree unless its a specific, mandatory requirement to progress (rare)
• an mba - these are in the UK rarely worth doing unless you are relatively junior and want to gain connections/network. An mba costing only £1,700 will be pointless.

If he's planning a total career shift and needs to completely retrain it could be relevant. Ime where qualifications are truly useful in a job your employer will fund it.

Assume you mean RICS?

Whether he pursues the career or not, it will never do him any harm to have the qualification on his CV. But it sounds like he's quite keen, and if this is an essential first step then he has to go for it at some point - so why not now? In your book paying for the qualification will always be a waste, which means he will never get the chance to discover whether he can do it and whether he wants to take it forward. You would both regret that in years to come.

I think it is money well spent. Hopefully it will lead to a new job for him. I always think it is a risk for both people in a couple to work for the same company. Both are out of work if the company shuts down.

Yeah but the PP was basically ruling them all out as useless which is nonsense.

Initially I was going to jump straight on the yabu wagon. However...

He has decided he will spend the bulk of his on some professional qualifications as he is exploring a career change

Based on this, possibly yanbu.

All of our money is shared. All of our decisions, if they affect us as a couple or family, are discussed. Whilst it looks like a good thing for him to spend money on, I'd be hugely pissed off if dh just made this decision without discussion.

So I think yanbu.

What CII qualification is he looking at doing?

I work in insurance, and have CII qualifications, but they can be tough to get your head around if you've never done insurance before, especially the legal modules.

Most Underwriting jobs require years of insurance experience to get into the senior/better paid jobs. So paying £1,700 himself might not get him a job paying that much more annually than someone without as he'd still need to come in at an entry level. He might be better off getting an insurance job, getting the company to pay for his membership and exams and then getting the experience at the same time.

Blimey OP I think Yabvvvu! He did the work that earned the bonus so surely he gets to choose how to spend it?🤔

Financial diploma so he can look at roles to do with investment/advice etc

This 👆

And sometimes when men progress in their careers, the line is trotted out that it’s because poor women sacrifice sooo much that they are able to progress. What a sensible man. This has to be a reverse.

Investing in yourself and your future is a very smart decision.

Has he tried talking to recruiters for the job he wants to see what would help him get a foot in the door? On the face of it, yabu if this cert would actually help. Much better use of money than a holiday.

Or you could make up the difference for a holiday............

So you're questioning why he should sacrifice one holiday this year to potentially earning at least half a holiday extra in future years?

I would question why he is wasting his time with a DP that would prefer to go on holiday than better her life, if I were him.

This is funny.

Man wants to stay in the same job, not be ambitious, be a spendthrift money on holidays, cars etc. Grasping cock lodger.

Man wants to work to move to a better job and invest in future employment prospects. Boring fun sponge.

Some people might argue you can't win.

I’ve got CII qualifications myself (Underwriting and Claims) and I guessed it was probably the financial diplomas.

He’s right - he won’t be able to work properly in that field without them. The first one is a doddle to pass but they do get increasingly difficult and need commitment to get through.

Is he hoping to go freelance or get an employed job? Anyone in these kind of roles has to hit sales targets - would that suit him? It’s not for everyone.

If he wants to work in that field, they’re not worthless qualifications so it’s a good investment imo. More than a holiday (sorry). But make sure he fully understands the role and its demands if it’s very different to what he does now - being a financial advisor can be tough, particularly in the current economic climate.

Surely a professional qualification is a better way to spend money that a holiday that’s over in a week or 2?

It’s not even that expensive £1700 is cheap, and a screaming bargain compared to a degree.

You should support this 100%.