To be annoyed at DP for spending his bonus on qualifications?

[LeonaStep]

DP and I work for the same company and both get an annual bonus.

We had discussed spending this years on a holiday - however he has decided he will spend the bulk of his on some professional qualifications as he is exploring a career change.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed? He isn’t set on this change but says the qualifications will help him if he proceeds. He’ll be spending c.£1700 and remaining bonus won’t allow us to go to where we had planned. Feels a lot of money to potentially waste?

Are qualifications more self indulgent than spending his bonus taking his girlfriend on a holiday?

I get it actually.

It would be like spending money on training as....a nail tech (say) when I only might go into that. Putting it into savings for when the decision is definitely made is one thing, but actually doing the course when the career change isnt set in stone is a bit premature.

I think you are being reasonable. Even if doesn't do anything with the qualification. He has earned the money and has invested in himself. Hopefully, it will provide him more opportunities to develop.

Hmmmm

Has he explored work paying for these professional qualifications? My work are always keen to invest money in staff if it would benefit the company. I think it's a tax break actually so it's encouraged.

If it's like, going from, IT to floristry or something, I'd be asking why my DP was so desperate to change profession and whether he was stressed / under pressure etc.

It’s with the CII so is a proper qualification and not a get rich quick scheme from social media!

He said if he was to go into that career needing to take the qualifications he’d earn less, whereas if he went in already qualified he would have higher earning potential from day 1 - if that makes sense!

He obviously wants the qualification more than he wants the holiday. That's fair enough. It's his bonus.

It sounds like a great investment in his future career and earning potential.

Learning and improving yourself is never a waste of money.

Blowing a bonus on a holiday is much more of a "waste."

Spend your bonus as you see fit - I would say I’m going invest in a designer clothes handbag as they might go up in value on that basis

Look at the family budget and go on a cheap holiday somewhere sunny like Cyprus. Family holiday - joint budget. If he’s spending his bonus on him you can spend your on you.

In that case I think it’s admirable he’d put this as a priority over a holiday.

is there no way you could afford a cheaper holiday? If my husband early on in our relationship tried to discourage me from getting a professional qualification for no other reason than they wanted a holiday then I would be majorly put off!

how long have you been together?

This. You're just upset because you want a holiday. He's sensible, especially in this economy.

You could always go by yourself.

Can you ask him to hold off deciding till he's more sure on the career change? Alternatively book the holiday alone or with a friend?

I think he's being sensible.

Use your bonus and go on a shorter/cheaper holiday.

Why? It's his money. If she wants to go on holiday, she can use her bonus and go.

It's common sense.

I guess I'm in the minority here but I can understand why the op might be peed off. You were hoping for a holiday after working so hard. I get it. But qualifications are important. Maybe downsize the holiday a bit so you're still able to go away?

She's got at least £1700. That will get her a holiday

He sounds great, forward thinking, planning ahead, investing in his future. I’d be proud.

@LeonaStep but that £1700 could well mean an extra 10-20k per year for the next 30 years!!! would you not rather have that???

He’d take an initial salary drop if he was to career change but potential to earn more after a few years - I do see your point x

I'm with you to an extent, we see all income as family money and would agree how to spend it. He thinks qualifications, you think holiday. There needs to be a compromise somewhere - cheaper holiday and only some of the qualifications he has in mind with the rest next year?

Think about the agreement to spend it on a holiday. Did he really agree or did you just hear what you wanted to?

I really struggle to imagine someone whining about their partner trying to improve himself. Poor him for you to be so selfish and diminish his attempts at growing.

Learning anything new will give him new tools, new ways of thinking and working, and surely will lead to some kind of benefit, even if not the potential career change. It's highly unlikely to just be wasted!

It’s better and lower cost than quitting his job and changing career just to realize is not for him.