DH reported at work

[CircleBaker]

I am stuck between ‘the world has gone mad’ and ‘why did you say that’ so I’d appreciate some MN wisdom!

DH has been reported to HR by a colleague due to a comment he made when she arrived at her desk on a recent morning. He said she looked particularly happy so he joked that she must have ‘got some’ the night before.

Now this colleague is someone DH has worked with for a while and always (in his view) got along with, so he was very surprised to hear of the report.

I can’t help but feel that as much as it wasn’t the smartest of comments, it was fairly inoffensive given they are friendly and it seems OTT to report?!

Childish

I’m one of the women you’re referring to but managed to call this sort of thing out without getting sacked. I know it wasn’t easy; I lived it!
We came on in leaps and bounds because woman and other minority groups refused to accept this. It wasn’t easy but if no one had pushed back nothing would have changed.

Now, now, we don’t want ageism on this thread.

I thought it was more appropriate for your level of understanding 😁

Older people are perfectly capable of being ageist. There are no special rights that gives anyone anonymity

We really can’t say I’m old so I can say this and my comment therefore is allowed
We can’t say I’m a women and all women are…..( discriminatory comment ) and it’s alright because I’m a women so I can say that.

It really doesn’t work like that

I think you mean "fucking childish".

That's all you've got now isn't it, claiming you must be right because you're not saying swearing. You don't swear, you just think it's appropriate for women to be sexually harassed as long as nobody says "fuck".

Open your mind, listen to people and switch on to what you are. You won't like it when you realise, but you might be able to change.

Why? I thought you said it was OK to state age as a fact?

Honestly imagine going to these lengths to defend and justify sexual harassment from a creepy old fuck in the workplace.
Get a life and some self respect 😂

OK 👍

I thought you said it wasn’t? So much hypocrisy!

I agree. I have colleagues who I go to the pub with, we take the mickey out of each other and talk about less than professional topics. But we do this outside of work, not within an office where it could be overheard by multiple staff members. At work we remain professional.

It clearly wasn't something that the lady was comfortable with otherwise she wouldnt have gone to HR, so OP's DH probably isn't really friends with her at all, otherwise he would have had a better idea what she does and does not find funny.

I know, it would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

That’s not at all why my comment says or means.

No matter how this is dressed up or how many hairs are split, it's sexual harassment. People can find as many ways to try to excuse it as they like, bit you can't polish a turd

Yep, it is sexual harassment, which is against the law. Good thing we can report any old, young or middle aged creep in the workplace and they get dealt with 🙌

Actually several studies show intelligent people swear more often.

But you are still effectively in a work environment-anyone with you could decide to take offence at something you say and next thing you know it’s you in front of HR..

Wolf whistling is also classed as sexual harassment and i geuss is illegal?. IMO snowflakes the lot of you. I dont care about the backlash it's my OPINION.

I bet you miss the good old days when men on building sites would wolf whistle and shout obscenities at 11 and 12 year old school girls walking to school in their school uniforms with no repercussions.

No!!! I never witnessed this!!

But the definition of sexual harassment is so wide ranging and subjective it is ridiculous. I suspect all this kind of thing making everyone suspicious of each other at work is driving up stress levels - realistically one can’t say anything at work where someone won’t take offence..

The reaction to this comment on here is basically, woman shouldn’t have to put up with man mentioning sex - basically women are too sensitive to hear men commenting about sex and it’s unchivilrous of them to do so.

woman can’t save herself and has to run off to the institution - an embodiement of the patriarchy to save her from this many who has been cast as a perpetrator because for every victim their needs to be a perpetrator. The narrative here is keeping women down, making them submissive and helpless.

Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Isn't it ironic that in answer to this person's original post, people have resorted to calling her names, criticising her, calling her husband names, calling each other names, making sexist comments, swearing at each other, making ageist comments, making all kinds of other inappropriate comments.

Is it OK to speak to each other like that as long as we're all strangers on the Internet?

Most are saying he was wrong 'because it was in the workplace' but those same people don't care about speaking to other human beings like they are pieces of cr*p just because anonymity allows them to.

Those quoting workplace laws - does your workplace not include a clause that limits what you can and can't say on social media? Or is it OK because you are hiding behind an anonymous username and you're sure you won't get caught?

Criticising a man for one remark when some of you are just plain vile to each other, honestly, give your heads a wobble!

Neither did I. I’m not sure where this rhetoric came from (well actually I do)