Not invited to my boyfriends surprise birthday party

[Becwi]

My boyfriends 40th Birthday is coming up shortly.
I Had messaged his mum to see if she had organised something, however after not hearing back after a few days presumed she hadn’t. So I organised a surprise to do something and invite along lots of his friends, She messaged me back 2 weeks later and said yes, on the date I had planned too. I explained that because I hadn’t heard back I’d planned something.
Shes then rang my boyfriend shouting about it, not once confronted me about it.
I said don’t worry I’ll cancel what I’d planned to stop any drama and caused arguments with me and my boyfriend.
so fast forward 6 days before, I get a message from his friends girlfriend asking me what I’m wearing, what the plans are after his party. I know nothing about this party!
i haven’t mentioned it to my boyfriend because I don’t want to ruin his birthday, upset him or cause drama.
AIBU for being so annoyed and so upset about no invitation?

Just quick update. He went to the party, even though he said he was annoyed that I wouldn’t be there. So far no contact for 22 hours!
think I’ll check out of this relationship and concentrate on myself!

I don’t really understand the dynamic here. You’re his partner of three years, not a new GF. Why wouldn’t you just GO WITH HIM to the party?

If she had specifically said you aren’t welcome and he’s gone along with it then that is so far beyond normal behaviour from him that you should run very very fast.

Why didn't you go with him??

Theres nothing else to say is there, hes chosen mummy not you, i wouldnt give him the time of day, just move on, if he contacts you i would text back 'ive moved on' and leave it at that,

So after all of this, he's still proceeded to go, not insist you come or put his mother in her place?

Wow. I think you're right. Check out, focus on yourself x

Because I think it would have caused an atmosphere there. And I wouldn’t have felt comfortable After her ignoring me. He got told an hour before when to be ready for.

That’s the right decision, OP. Get rid of him asap.

I thought I missed a post - no idea why you didn’t go with him to his party, but yes would consider it the end of the relationship.

All 3 of you behaved oddly, we can only learn from our own behaviour though.

What a horrible man he is, I'm sorry, OP. I think you've without doubt made the right decision to end things!

I realise his mother's behaviour is batshit shitty, but I really don't understand why you didn't go with him?

TBH you all sound as dramatic as each other and the whole thing is ridiculous behaviour from grown adults.

But yes ending it is best thing as you’re all contributing to the toxic drama.

So the mother in law won.

Slow hand clap, OP

Wow. This is mad. I do t think you have a choice but to end it, he and they have shown you what kind of family they are. Dont disbelieve it.

I

That’s terrible. I don’t know you, but am pretty sure you deserve better than this.

Wtf?! He went without you?! But i agree with others, you should have gone. Why didnt you go? What did he say when you refused to go?

Good idea. He is a disloyal mummy's boy. I can't believe that he didn't take you with him to the party. You'll be better off without him.

That would be it for me and his bags would be packed for coming home. I can't believe he went without you. My husband wouldn't have gone or we'd have gone together. On the plus side, you can now see what he and his family are like and you're better off out of it. Lucky escape I think. You deserve more.

Absolutely!

Lucky escape @Becwi . Awful though.

There's no place for you in that family OP, his mum's actions said it and his nonaction confirmed it.

Sad as that may be, the positive is you can walk away and start afresh with someone with a backbone.

Leave them to it.

I can’t believe he went in his own,what a prick .Tell him to fuck off you are worth more than this.You have had a lucky escape from him and his mother.

Wow, That's kind of ended your relationship, he didn't even contact you after 22 hours, knowing the lead up to this.
As for his Mother, Something must have changed for her to have done this deliberately. She has set this up to make waves & she has managed it perfectly, as for your lily livered bf ? Well not much to like really

I thought he had your back when you told him about her ignoring your calls ,what happened?

Honestly, I do not know. Things were great, we’d been out for breakfast having a lovely chilled day. Then he came outside to tell me he’d just got off the phone to his mum telling him to be ready in an hour and he got ready and left.

Your worth more than this .