Criticised over my eating style

[Fernandez54]

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

No I don’t starve myself and I’m not scared I think I have just adapted when I’m there

He'd hate me, yesterday I had salad on the same plate as a pasta bake, and today I'll have some on the same plate as a tuna steak fresh from a hot pan.

Because I like it, and why create extra washing up.

Good for you for putting your foot down and not letting him dictate to you your perfectly civilised eating choices.

🤣🤣good for you

I like hot and cold food together, I really don’t see what the fuss is about. No one balks at apple pie and cream do they or sticky toffee pudding and ice cream. Tell him to give his head a wobble and wind his neck in, these activities alone should give him something else to occupy him😁

🤣🤣🤣

How and why, though? The very first time this came up, why did you not just go ‘I’m making myself a sandwich’ or ‘I’m popping out for a salad’? The next few times why didn’t you go ‘I like to eat during the day, shall I do a food shop before I come over’? And so on and so forth.

That’s what lots of us aren’t getting. Why have you gone against your own inclinations (as you eat during the day at home) to such an extent? For what reason?

What stands out to me is not what he said about the mix of hot and cold food, perhaps it is considered disgusting where he is from. I would not accept him minimising your feelings when he upset you. A good partner would say "sorry i offended you it's just something very odd to me and took me by surprise, I didn't mean to upset you". Etc. What he said completely dismissed your feelings and thatvis not something i would not want from a partner.

A good partner would say "sorry i offended you it's just something very odd to me and took me by surprise,

Well yes.

Seems odd that he's never seen or heard of it though.

The eating from the communal bowl is perhaps OK if Op had already taken all the salad she wanted.

It’s a good question and the honest answer is I don’t know why

It’s something to think about, perhaps?

If you were to start doing those things now, how do you think he’d react?

Yes it is something to think about, I think he would comment “you hungry”? Or seem surprised. He is not a big eater because of his working hours, his body clock is completely different to mine, he gets home very late from work (11.30pm on busy nights) then needs wind down time, so will stay up often into the early hours. I’m up at 6.30am for work…home from work at 4pm so our eating and sleeping styles are not in sync at all. Plus he drinks and smokes like a lot of hospitality workers another appetite killer.

So, if that’s all that would happen, what’s stopping you?

His dietary habits are his business, and don’t need to sync with yours. What’s stopping you from stocking up and eating normally (for you) when you’re at his?

Nothing stopping me only that I’m not there that much with him through the day, it’s mainly just Sundays when we have the full day together, as that’s his day off

Depending on what type of hospitality he works in, he could have meals on site - poss even free. So maybe he doesn't actually only eats once day ?

Lol im guessing he's hot!!

No he doesn’t eat on site

He’s not bad! 🤣

Alright. So, on Sunday, are you going to take it sort food for yourself during the day?

Yes!

Fabulous! I’m very glad. 😊

Thank you for caring even though you don’t know me 😊

You just seem really nice. I hope it all works out.

I do think though that if you get hungry during the Sunday then you should eat. Don't change who you are, after all you are not insisting he eats when he’s not hungry, so you must also ‘do you’.

If you stay together and end up staying over more you don’t want to find one day turns into four days of depriving yourself if you get hungry and want to eat.

Eating is one of life’s pleasures for me so someone who only eats once a day (and fusses over unimportant things like salad wouldn’t be for me personally.

Yes OP seems lovely.

I hope your bf appreciates you.