Criticised over my eating style

[Fernandez54]

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

The difference is that you don’t put your saliva into a packet of crisps or a pizza because your fork doesn’t touch the food, your fingers do.

I think you are just different. It's ok for him to comment and for you not to give a flying f#ck.

Seriously, if that's all you have to fall out over, then you can just move on. If he's offended, put two small bowls out for salad and he can prep into two seperate bowls.

Tommorrow.is another day. Move on.

No one should tell you how to eat your food! That's controlling behaviour, warning bells 🔔!!!

Whatever you do don't tell him that the hot lasagne and cold salad end up in the same stomach all mixed together. He might shit himself in horror!

I have to say I have learned something on this thread about Europeans eating salad before or after a main meal, rather than as a side dish UK style. Maybe i should try it but I'm not convinced. If I'm hungry enough for a meal, salad first would be really unsatisfying and after lasagne I don't think i would have room for a bowl of salad and just wouldn't fancy it!

We have salad with our main. My husband likes his in a separate side bowl as he says the warmth and sauce of the main takes too much crunch out of the salad. I like mine together on the plate, a lovely mix of temperatures and textures. I thought that was personal preference but seems I'm culturally appalling. We never criticise each other's preferences though.

I don't know if this is similar but my friend brought her new boyfriend to ours for a meal once. He was perfectly nice but once his dinner was placed before him he politely asked for salt and pepper, then liberally applied both. I had to bite my tongue fast so I didn't say "why don't you taste it first before deciding if it needs more seasoning?" Maybe it's an ingrained reaction like that.

Though HIBVU to eat directly from a communal salad bowl. Yuck! Tell him he needs some side plates pronto!

God Bless You Fernandez You're Most Surely Not Being Unreasonable Whatsoever
How Gruesomely Grumpy & Controlling He Is & Why Did he feel the need to comment, let alone criticise However you choose to consume your dishes
God Bless You 😢

Completely Concur With You, Most Surely Controlling attitude 💯

The lovely original commenter was wondering if she's being unreasonable for being upset by this male's controlling unnecessary criticism
Some folk choose to do intermittent fasting where sometimes they do choose to just consume their nourishments once per day
This is her choice, not for someone to judge as being unreasonable, just pure & simple a personal choice

Eating salad on a plate with the main meal isn’t odd! It’s done in restaurants all over the world!
I see you have called the main meal entree. You must be American. That explains it! 😂😂

Eating from the serving dish is weird! His germs and saliva all over the food. And he criticized you in your own home! I wouldn’t put up with that behaviour!

Not relevant at all!

That's exactly how we always used to have lasagna. With a nice big salad and it was one of my favourite meals! Still is, but I'm usually too lazy to cook a fresh lasagne. So no, you're not wrong for taking yours out of a community bowl before other people add their germs. And no, hot and cold food together is perfectly acceptable!! NTA

Thank you 😊

Yes that’s what I think and how we were brought up to be fair. He was totally grossed out!

Thank you it did feel like an over reaction

I think I have moved on tbh but I was curious to folks opinion and this post has stoked a lot of interest regardless

We often have salad with hot food on the same plate, particularly dishes like lasagne or moussaka or steak, and I think you'll find that just about all pubs and restaurants also offer this as an option. There's nothing odd or unusual about it!

A lot of Greek people have an aversion to hot food, and tend to eat it lukewarm - in their case it's just something that's been passed down the generations and is now so deeply ingrained in their culture it won't be shifted.
As the OPs OH is in catering, it's probably a similar thing - it's not done at work, therefore it's "the law". The reaction, to call you "disgusting" for mixing is totally unacceptable.
YANBU

Apart from you quietly starve all day when you're at his house, because you're, what, too scared to tell him you're hungry?

I went out with a guy in my 20’s who was from the Med. I think one of his hobbies was telling me off. It grew tiresome very quickly.

What I’d like to know is why some people think eating the salad separately is superior to eating it on the same plate, rather than just a different choice. It all ends up in the same place and leaves the same place.

Jacket potatoes are often served with salady bits on the plate, along with coleslaw.

And it will all be the same temperature by the time it reaches your stomach.

Is he just against hot and cold being on the same plate or would he never eat hot and cold together at the same time (a forkful of frittata and salad for example).

Really that is interesting I wonder if it is cultural

I’m not sure tbh. Because I stopped him in his tracks and told him I would eat the way I wanted. I think it was the salad and lasagna combo 🤦‍♀️