Criticised over my eating style

[Fernandez54]

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

Yes in our 50’s navigating a new relationship after a very long marriage, not that that is an excuse but it’s hard work starting again

I love how much posters care about how many meals you eat a day, one is fine

Best suggestion so far.

He's being very picky isn't he - as he picks the salad out of the communal bowl with his fork repeatedly. My DC are always on the alert for Double Dipping as they call it though they are usually referring to things like dipping a Dorito into Salsa biting off the salsa and returning with the Dorito remains for another dip.

As for jeans in the summer. Everyone knows that the English summer weather can turn on a sixpence and what about "N'er cast a clout til May is out" ? You can always end up shivering, even with a sunny start.
What was he wearing? Jeans perchance?

He seems to get worked up and is quite rude in his criticisms of very minor things that don't have an impact on anything important.

What is he like on bigger, or real issues?

Who mentioned choice?

I said it's only offensive if he's forgotten he's not in his own country.

When you move to another country, you accept there will be different customs and eating bloody salad differently is a stupid thing to get offended by.

In fact, getting offended by another adult choosing to eat salad differently, would be bloody stupid even if he was in his own country.

He must shit kittens when he goes on holiday.

After 3 years, it is not a new relationship it is the next relationship to your previous one.

After 3 years, where do you see this relationship going ?

"I like it like this, you do you". Big smile😀
But also, he sounds mean and nit picky. ☹️

It’s new after 27 years of marriage, trust me. Well we both have children from previous relationship so they are the priority at the moment as one of his is quite young.

He is rude and a peasant. If he is a foreign peasant, remind him about it - like Princess Margaret always reminded Prince Philip when he tried to flex his intellectual muscle in her presence. If he is French, remind him about their sanitary traditions, etc., if he is Russian, ask him to tell you about their culture of living 20 families to one flat, etc. etc. Fight back!

Bravo!

Oh the irony.

You're clearly someone who believes it's absolutely fine to move to another country and not respect/accept the different cultures you're going to come across.

I suspect you wear baggy shorts with your country's flag on, complaining loudly about 'not wanting to eat this muck'.

Embarrassing.

There’s always one 🤣

@Fernandez54 now I find that is disgusting eating from a serving bowl to be shared between people! your not being unreasonable and i am afraid its a red flag in my opinion - these small things tend to hide a bigger issue of control.

You can put the salad where you like and so can he in his own home however it’s the way he’s speaking to you and you stated that if you challenged that or left he would ignore you and refuse to answer the phone.

the question is not where to put salad when eating lasagne, rather why are you putting up with him being rude to you, telling you what to eat and how to eat it, what to wear and getting the silk on if you dare disagree with him.

id leave the relationship

You sound like a child. Also, salad dressing is a lot wetter than lasagne.

Eating straight from the main salad bowl would only be acceptable if everyone else had taken their share and he was eating what was left, leaving the bowl empty for the wash. Otherwise it's served onto the main plate, a side plate, a side bowl, whatever. It matters not a jot. 🤷‍♀️

Lasagne isn’t an entree (unless you’re American).

Not even if it's a teeny tiny portion? 😉

He sounds like a knob tbh.
Me and DP have TOTALLY different diets and eating styles and we respect each others respective opinions and try our best to do things that work for all of us including our toddler children.

why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting

Dont tell him about Baked Alaska it will make his head spin

He’s being unreasonable, and possibly hypocritical if I’ve understood correctly. I was going to say that it’s odd to criticise the way people serve/eat their food, until I got to your update saying that he eats his salad out of the communal bowl. If he’s putting his fork back in the bowl after it’s been in his mouth, then that’s kind of gross. However, what you choose to put on your own plate is nobody’s business but your own! I suspect this has little to do with the salad and more with him being a control freak or looking for things to pick at - is he critical about other things?

Well if you’re navigating, the exit is that way ➡️

Why is he single?

Or Apple pie and cream/ice cream.

His relationship broke down during lockdown but they remain on good terms and co parent their child very well

Maybe they’re on good terms because she can eat in peace now.

Maybe 🤣