Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't have enough money

728 replies

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:19

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
real13 · 27/05/2025 08:30

Unfortunately I think you just both need to get full time jobs. You could be bringing in double that amount quite easily, even in an unskilled role.

Imbusytodaysorry · 27/05/2025 08:31

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:39

house was 140k we had a 10% deposit

sorry its not made sense, I work part time, my husband and works (worked?) full time. His hours have dwindled he is now working equivalent of 3 days a week. 30 hours.

Show quote history

There is your answer . You have no spare as you don’t have the same money coming in.
One of you have to work full time . Or night shift . Can you find bank work where you get 1.5/2x for weekends or night shift ?

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:35

I hate to say this but you're wasting money on 'streaming' and mobiles.

We are very comfortably off but one reason for that is we have never had any TV other than the BBC licence, we buy phones outright and therefore only pay a monthly charge ( currently £7 each for me and DP), and we've never bought anything on credit- not furniture or cars etc.

Your utilities sound quite a lot at £150 a month so maybe you can economise there.

The fundamental issue is you are both on the minimum wage and between you don't work many hours.

Longer term, can you consider training/education in order to improve your skills and employability?

If you've got another 20 years of work ahead before retirement, it's worth thinking about trying to improve your education or (apprenticeships where you're paid while working.)

luckylavender · 27/05/2025 08:37

You definitely both need more hours, you need to change the phone contracts & you need to look at UC.

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:38

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:32

I just don’t get it

nor do I. You both work.
you have a side hustle of ironing.
you live very modestly
neither of you drive
you don’t appear to have e any debt whatsoever

something is missing here op

Edited

No it isn’t. The cost of living has increased and wages have not.

The OP is clearly in mortgage distress and if likely spending more than 25% of their salary on their mortgage.

Both her and her husband need higher paying jobs. Her husband needs to get a second job, even if it means buying a scooter and doing deliveries. He needs a side hustle.

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:39

You've also had the luxury of never working for ten years! Why?

That seems very short sighted because you could have had far more savings, paid off more of your mortgage, and even with 3 kids you could have worked one or two evenings or at weekends.

Catwoman8 · 27/05/2025 08:40

I'm assuming your husband was regulary working overtime when he was doing 60 hours a week, unless he is self employed as most FT jobs are 35-40 hours? Going from a 60 hour working week to 30 is a huge pay cut, so I'm not surprised you are struggling. It's also hard going working that many hours a week, can you find more hours and balance that out? How many do you do now?

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:41

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:33

I'm on min wage and my husband is on 16 am hour.
wage varies due to work availability and there is just no work. Well that's not true, there is some work but not enough work and at least I know for sure that both of our colleagues are in the same boat.
I'm scared and feel trapped.

there's not much we can cut back on, we use 2good2go for cheap food top up, what else? no phone bills or car bills no debt
We saved for 6/7 years for our house (cheapest in our city) and have kept up the lifestyle. We used to overpay the mortgage when we first moved in as we tried to keep our savings levels the same. But works slowly dwindled and bills have creeped up.

I sort of wish we'd stayed renting as at least we would have a safety net of benefits paying the rent if we lose a job or the landlord would have to pay for big repairs. i feel sick despite getting up for work every day we have no money!. I just can't believe it's come to this.
I've read these threads on COL crisis on here. Sure things weren't peachy but we were getting on fine, I was ahead of the curve as I increased my income, had savings and kept saving.
where has it gone? why isn't that enough?

we are both applying for new jobs aswell, no luck. I need more hours really but there's not much out there

You’re on minimum wage. Your husband only earns £16 an hour…. You got a mortgage you couldn’t afford.

What sort of work does your husband do?

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:42

Looking ahead, you both need salaried jobs if you can up-skill, not jobs paying by the hour.

To quote a politician- it's education, education, education.

Low skilled or non-skilled families will always struggle and you need somehow to try to break the cycle.

eatreadsleeprepeat · 27/05/2025 08:43

It does sound as if the issue is at least as much about income falling as costs rising.
Could your husband speak to a careers adviser about ways to use his skills, adapt his skills so he did not completely have to retrain?
If you are entitled to UC but getting zero are there any passport benefits, school meals, help with travel to school for your teen?
Could your husband look for any volunteer role to fill his time, sitting at home doesn’t help depression and it would broaden his experience?

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:43

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:39

house was 140k we had a 10% deposit

sorry its not made sense, I work part time, my husband and works (worked?) full time. His hours have dwindled he is now working equivalent of 3 days a week. 30 hours.

Show quote history

Both you and your husband are underemployed and likely work low skilled jobs. Your husband needs to do food deliveries or get a job working away.

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:44

Have you talked to a mortgage broker?

£700 a month for a small mortgage is a lot.

My DS was paying that for his mortgage which was much higher than yours.

I think you need to look at why you're paying so much.

StupidBoy · 27/05/2025 08:45

You did amazingly well to buy a house when both of you earn pretty low wages, so it's not surprising that with mortgage interest rate rises things have been tight. If you managed to over-pay on your mortgage in the early years could you not see if you can negotiate smaller payments now? It's no good owning your own home if you have to live hand to mouth just to stay in it.

anotherside · 27/05/2025 08:48

Real standards of living have fallen considerably over the past two decades. Partly due to external factors, but also partly self inflicted (Chiefly rocketing house prices/rents thanks to our “house price economy”, and also Brexit hasn’t helped matters).

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:48

Is your husband self employed or working for someone? You say he's skilled but there is no demand for his work yet he has lots of 'thank you' comments on the website.

Is he a decorator, tiler, gardener maybe?

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:49

bathroomadviceneeded · 27/05/2025 07:04

I agree with the Dave Ramsey suggestion too. He is indeed very American, but his principles work no matter where you live in the world.

As he would say, the hole is too big and the shovel is too small. You need a bigger shovel.

Your DH needs to increase his hours, and you need to work on your earning capacity. It won't happen overnight, but make it a high priority, or else you'll keep feeling like you're drowning.

Also, your said you have teenagers. Could they work? I come from a wealthy family, but was always expected to work to pay for my own expenses. I started working age 14 at a cafe to pay for extra expensive food that I liked, CDs (showing my age haha!), and saving for a car.

I got my own job at 14 and paid for everything. I even ended up paying for my own school fees and books when I got older as my sister was at university and my parents were struggling.

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:51

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 07:28

I definitely need to upskill
I'm unskilled.
my husband is very skilled and very known in his line of work. hes even been on the website and named and thanked for his contributions. However its just dead at the moment.
he wanted to leave anyway but he's been looking for a job for the past 18 months ( when I got my part time job and the pressure was off him he's started looking, happy to start at the bottom of a ladder he wants to climb etc. But now he feels like he's stuck again. )
I'm really proud of my husband. he's got great work ethic, he's really skilled but he's incredibly depressed. we both feel just trapped.

I'm looking but there is no luck. I have received 0 replies.

I am OK I could do more but I need to be available for school pick up and drop off. Wrap around care at school is an option but you're not garuntred a place. and a childminder for after school for them would be too costly atm. it's literally just logistics woth childcare.
give it a few years and my youngest will be in secondary school but for now we are tied up.

Show quote history

Skilled at what?

Being highly skilled at something that doesn’t pay means nothing if you can’t afford to live.

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:52

Muffinmam · 27/05/2025 08:49

I got my own job at 14 and paid for everything. I even ended up paying for my own school fees and books when I got older as my sister was at university and my parents were struggling.

Show quote history

Live in the real world.
There are laws about how old a child has to be before they can work and the number of hours.

You paid for your own school fees? I guess you're not in the UK as school fees only exist in private education and they are around £30K+ pa!

YouWhatNowHuh · 27/05/2025 08:52

I work in one of the convenience size supermarkets and have a couple of colleagues who use our place as their second job. We have shifts available that are 6 or 7pm to 11pm so they do their 9 to 5 and then come to us for a late shift. Obviously it's a very long day but it is helping them keep their head above water and works around kids etc so might work for you

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:55

Sadly, this is all too common story of not planning ahead.

A couple both unskilled or relying on hourly pay.
One didn't work for 10 years or use that time to learn and gain qualifications.
One loses some hours at work, no savings really, and then they get caught out by cost of living and 3 growing children.

Like another poster, although this is sad for the OP, it shows how long term planning and up-skilling is so important.

Unskilled jobs are going to become less with robots and AI.
The future is being skilled and that's happening now.

heffalumpwoozle · 27/05/2025 08:56

OP you're getting a bit of a hard time from some posters when as you say, you posted for a moan, and are very entitled to.

The cost of living has gone up massively and someone in your position a few years ago would have been doing fine, but now you aren't. It's frustrating - the world and the UK have changed.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 08:57

heffalumpwoozle · 27/05/2025 08:56

OP you're getting a bit of a hard time from some posters when as you say, you posted for a moan, and are very entitled to.

The cost of living has gone up massively and someone in your position a few years ago would have been doing fine, but now you aren't. It's frustrating - the world and the UK have changed.

I don’t think it’s been the case for a long time that a family of five can survive on two part-time salaries.

Overthebow · 27/05/2025 08:57

I am OK I could do more but I need to be available for school pick up and drop off. Wrap around care at school is an option but you're not garuntred a place. and a childminder for after school for them would be too costly atm. it's literally just logistics woth childcare

Many of us use childcare for before and after school. It's not always easy to organise or cheap but we make it work. You can use tax free childcare to bring the cost down.

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 08:58

heffalumpwoozle · 27/05/2025 08:56

OP you're getting a bit of a hard time from some posters when as you say, you posted for a moan, and are very entitled to.

The cost of living has gone up massively and someone in your position a few years ago would have been doing fine, but now you aren't. It's frustrating - the world and the UK have changed.

The cost of living has always been variable.
We were of the generation when mortgage interest rates hit 15%.

We had 2 young kids then but we'd saved, not over stretched ourselves, and I always worked, even just a few hours, including an evening (and I'm a graduate/professional) when my youngest was a baby.

Swipe left for the next trending thread