I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Things are shit just now undoubtedly, but it sounds like you've both been coasting along a bit and need to start looking for new opportunities. Given you have a teen I'm thinking you're around mid 30s? Minimum wage and £16 an hour are shit wages for that stage of life, it's easier said than done but there's definitely better wages out there even for unskilled workers. You'll need to put the graft in, find jobs with opportunities for progression and make sure your names are up there by working your backside off in any post you get.

I think the odds are stacked against a couple with kids in this country. Everything has gone up in price, expectations are off the scale. No more little simple parties for kids.
With no extended family support or inheritance, you are up against it OP
You are trying your hardest and it feels soul destroying.
The constant worry is exhausting.

That's hardly helpful. Jobs for 14 year olds aren't exactly abundant.

The cost of living has increased significantly and likely will continue to do so.

It's understandable that someone might feel frustrated that the lifestyle they could have had years ago will no longer sustain them.

OP just wanted a moan and that's fine.

Was it sweeping chimneys @Muffinmam ?

and now do you feed your family of 8 for £14.10 a week?

You're working 50 hours a week between you on low wages , we would be squeezed if we worked that amount between us and we both work in skilled professions (but live in the south east and our mortgage is more than double yours).
Even now we both have second contracts, my husband does at least two Saturdays a month and I do at least a week on call 24/7, one of you needs to get an evening job, even bar work or cleaning to bring some money in when the other has the children.

I work in the public sector and there hasn't been a time in the last 16 years I haven't had a second job/contract, most of my colleagues are the same. I'm not saying that's fine but it's reality, you can't get by on two part time wages

I don’t understand what your dh is doing in the 30 hours a week that he used to be working and now isn’t. Can he not either:
retrain as it sounds like his skills are no longer useful
get a delivery job eg pizzas at the weekends?
do school run for you so you can work more?
or all the above?

This is the fundamental problem I think, your dh has not only had a wage cut, which is highly unusual and not the way things usually go as we get more experienced, but is also working about half the hours he previously worked. He needs to sort this out asap.

you should also be looking to retrain. Even things like nails or lashes are realistically very easy but you could do as a side hustle.

Our school won’t allow under 16 to collect. Even Siblings even with parents written permission

'Just having a moan' doesn't change anything though.

Although doing something constructive like reviewing your budget or working more seems to be too much to expect these days.

@NewMoonToday

Your utilities sound quite a lot at £150 a month so maybe you can economise there.

i pay £150 a month for g&e so seems normal.

I work 10pm-6am in a supermarket. I do the equivalent of 2 days per week, but they're worked as 4 on 10 off.

Weekend nights are ones we always struggle to recruit; we have staff that work every weekend around other jobs.

I hate my job and it is very physically demanding, but there's also a staff discount (once through probation), plus other benefits which are quite generous.

There's usually overtime available for the Christmas period.

Ideas for you and husband which don't take years of training..

Work as a mower, pruner for older people.
Cleaner businesses - cleaning offices, schools, and new house builds.
Sell things on ebay.
House painter's assistant.
Train as a learn to swim instructor.
Any jobs as lolly pop holder on school crossings.
Any sign holder jobs in road construction.
Gain your RSA qualification and ask for work at weddings, golf clubs and Pubs.
After school and before school care.

Yes & repeatedly.

Obviously.

But wanting to vent/ moan is fine.

There is a massive blame culture, when actually it is the fault of the government/ world leaders. Sure you can blame OP for taking time out to raise her children or not having the foresight to do further training to increase her income or whatever. Years ago, she wouldn't have had to. There have always been a lot of people in society like OP, working and living day to day, who in the past have done fine. OP isn't alone in her approach to life, not by a long shot.

What is the point in nitpicking and blaming OP about what she could/ should have done, without an understanding of the wider context? The truth is that the state of the world currently just makes it a lot harder than it has previously been.

It's fair enough for OP and all in her position to feel frustrated. Many of us know people aged 60/65+ who raised 3 children on a single income, own a lovely house, etc. They had a lifestyle that is now a fantasy and we can't expect what they took for granted.

Obviously there's a lot OP can do. There's a lot that most people can do save more and make more money if we want to. I'm not sure OP needs advice. Obviously working and earning more, careful budgeting and cutting out treats = more money. That's not rocket science.

But the gradual degradation of the quality of living in the UK is just all a bit shit, isn't it? It's OK to feel annoyed and upset about the fact that life in the UK isn't what it used to be.

No it doesn't?

No I think the point is OP is just not telling the truth about their circumstances

OP has mentioned depression, hardly surprising.

Have you checked you wouldn't qualify for UC if you had childcare bill. It may well work out better for you as you seem to be on the threshold.

Could your husband find a more reliable regular job and freelance/ do whatever it is he does now as an extra?

The issue is that your dh's work has dried up. He probably need to look elsewhere for a complete change of role, and in the meantime look for a side hustle like you have done. Has he got any skills like DIY or gardening? Lots of people need their gardens tidied/fences repainted etc at this time of year. Or could he do some shift work? My parents went through a similarly tough time in the early 90s - they both had full time jobs but it wasn't paying the bills so there was a period when they were both doing extra work in the evenings- some evenings dad did taxi shifts and others mum worked at McDonald's. Fortunately Dad then found a better paid full time job.

Haven’t RTFT so apologies if someone else has suggested this - but have you tried talking to CAB and see if there are any benefits you can claim? I’m sure there are some top-up benefits sometimes available.

Congratulations on buying your house though, that’s a great achievement. When it’s paid off in the future you’ll be so glad you’re not renting anymore.

Hope things improve for you really soon.

I've just switched from Vodafone mobile £28 per month to Lebara which is on the Vodafone network... £1.99 per month for 6 months then goes up to £8 per month, I can't believe how much this has saved me! Was scared to take the leap but I'm glad I did. No difference, same number and same phone

On the list of out goings these are not on the list
Are these being paid also ?

Work pension contributions

Home contents & insurance

Hair cuts

Dentist

Holidays/days out

Birthdays

Christmas

Medecines

Savings

There are plenty of online budget calculators and switching sites to help you analyse your unavoidable costs, your avoidable ones, and ones you can get better deals on
E.g. if you're paying more than £5 per device per month for phones/tablets etc. you can switch and save a fortune (reduced my friend's phone costs from £123 to £15 by switching to Lebara)
Similar saving exist for utilities, supermarket shopping, mortgages etc.

Just come to say you don’t need to post your income and outgoings to justify feeling like this. It’s f*cking tough at the moment and it feels relentless!