I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

According to your outgoings you’re left with over £1000 to cover your husbands travel and food for the month. This should be plenty - so something’s going on.

She hasn’t listed all her outgoings though - unless she doesn’t buy things like uniform, shoes, house insurance, internet etc.

You don't have the luxury of working part time OP.

Of course you don’t have enough money if you have multiple children and neither of you work full-time.

Yea , and she did say she just came for a moan , so that’s it really .

Well youre both working part time for minimal wages. Costs of everything havr gone up massively.
Were struggling on a lot more than you, our outgoings are more as rent is 3k but we afforded that easily two years ago, now were skint at the end of each month.
You need to increase your income. You have a lot of room for increase there in hours and salary. Would advise one of you starts to build a career in something as it looks like you are both coasting along. If one of you puts some effort into climbing the ladder you should start to see a real difference.

Can you try something radically different for work? You say you don't have a car, but do you have a driving licence. Train as a bus/ train/ tube/ tram driver, for example?

Or really push the side hustle. Couple of evenings bar work a week (although this will still be min wage)? More cleaning - advertise on a local Facebook community page?

Even all of that doesn’t come to £1,000 a month.

but the eldest is 15 so will soon be able to get a weekend job so can pay for their own travel/entertainment then
Depends on so much. 16-yr old GS had Sat job at local Tesco but they eased him out by making it a zero-hour all week post. They were inundated by applications from adults who couldn't get work elsewhere. All their 'Sat assistant' teenagers have gone now 😒

It’s sometimes easier for women to find full time jobs as female dominated workplaces like supermarkets often want people to work more hours. Your husband may not consider this type of work suitable for him as he has certain skills he wants to be able to use at work. But he could take over a lot of the after school childcare responsibilities while he’s only working part time.

There are definitely some small things you could do to save money - but a bit of lentil bolognese isn't going to solve the fundamental issue.

It's all about getting more work.

Can you think more creatively about work? Can you do things like dog walking, babysitting, WFH stuff like virtual PAing? Can you work at your school's after school club (staff at ours get a free place)?

Given you're starting with minimum wage and not earning even up to your personal allowance it sounds like, I would focus on you earning more as probably more achievable

You need to go full time OP.

Why assume she won’t be back? The thread only started a couple of hours ago and she’s replied several times with further info. She said she only posted to vent but doesn’t feel to have not engaged or been ungrateful for advice.

We’ll see I suppose. Just the tone of her responses. Time will tell.

Would you consider posting in local FB groups for cleaning work? Our cleaner makes £480 a month just coming to our place once a week for 5-6 hours. She does basic tidying/cleaning, changing bedsheets and ironing.

In our local FB group there are also lots of husbands who offer their services for doing odd jobs around the home (hanging curtains/pictures, basic repair work, building ikea furniture, helping moving house etc).

This thread is a harsh reality check for women.
the OP has never got herself skilled so presumably worked in minimum wage jobs before having 3 kids (quite a spread in ages too as the eldest is 15 and the youngest still several years off secondary school.) She then stopped working for a decade, relying on her dh and even taking on a mortgage on the basis of him earning. And she’s now saying she can only work around school hours.

it’s a bit depressing to read. The COL is affecting all of us, absolutely, but that’s not the fundamental problem here; it’s more a case of the OP having relied completely on her dh to fund a family of five and now his work is drying up she’s not in a strong position to be able to step up.

The issue, as said by others is your DH huge drop in hours - he would be far better off working full time at NMW than part time sporadically at only a little more.

He needs to get another job, work is out there, I had to advertise twice to find an unskilled assistant caretaker at £18 p/h full time for a state school, county pension scheme, sociable hours, easy work - we got one applicant (who got the job!!)

OP has (I think) three children as she mentions a teen and then declining party invites for two children - costs will quickly add up.

Dentist appointments, hair cuts, housing repairs, school uniforms, clothes, shoes, pocket money for the oldest, school dinners, school trips - it’s not cheap.

Sounds like you need better jobs. If you’re not getting enough hours surely there’s bar work, hospitality etc going? I’ve been able to snag as much of that as I’ve wanted over the years whenever I want more money.

Don’t know if it’s been suggested but are your older children able to collect your younger children from school freeing up some time in the afternoon for you to work?

Having totted up your outgoings, and added in a generous grocery budget came to £1600ish. Minimum wage full time (37.50 hours a week) after tax and NI contributions is almost £1700.

Just one of you working full time on minimum wage should cover your essential outgoings. If you both worked full time on minimum wage you would have significant leftover money each month to cover additional expenses.

Somethings going wrong here, I expect it's that you are underestimating where you're spending money each month.

You need to do a statement of affairs to see your true financial standing and income/outgoings. I would also look back through your bank accounts spending over the last 6 months and add all the other spends. Then you will see why the money coming in isn't covering things

Reduce phone, cut subscriptions, stop TGTG.

I feel you pain.

What sort of food do you actually eat? Are you eating meat at every meal?

I empathise but you need to take control of this situation.

It’s rubbish but you need to start looking to improve your skills to lift you out of min wage.
Does your work offer progression and a training opportunities that you can do to move up?
If not, move into a field that does.

The cost of living is awful and you need to work together to get a much income in as possible.

OH I am sorry you are going through this and I hope your DH is seeking help for his depression/ mental health issues.

This post also demonstrates what is wrong with the current benefit system. People should be able to get help with first mortgages - if the value of the mortgage is less than renting would be.

if local rents are double OP mortgage which she has recently taken out with a minimal deposit, it tells you just how much local landlords are making from housing benefit payments. These local landlords will not be servicing high mortgages to justify those high rents. They charge them because they can with full knowledge that people will pay them / our taxes pay them via housing benefit.

This is why the current benefit system needs to change. People should be supported to do the right thing and support themselves. In hard times, help should be there for a specific period of time whilst they get back on their feet,

Sorry to hear it's tough, OP @Pickley981

Not sure whether you might consider switching your mortgage (if lender agrees to it) to interest-only for a few years before things pick up?