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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I just don't have enough money

728 replies

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:19

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
faerietales · 27/05/2025 17:51

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 17:37

Cleaning and ironing is fine BUT make it into a business.
Get a website or use Facebook and advertise.

Exactly. I dog walk - but it's a business, not just a little "side hustle". You can easily do a job like that around school hours. OP would struggle without a car, but she could easily do solo walks and charge a premium for that (as an example).

HairyToity · 27/05/2025 17:51

Just to say I feel the same, we are the poorest we've ever been. Keep plodding and eventually you'll catch a break. I was once told to keep trying, even when you are at your lowest. It's when you give up that it really spirals.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 17:52

FairKoala · 27/05/2025 17:41

Because you can’t get a job in Mac Donald’s. Know someone who applied and was told they weren’t qualified (But apparently qualified enough to manage a 500-1000 seater black tie dinner events and have 100 + staff members)

Well, McDonald's was just an example. There is loads of work out there.

OP says herself she's unskilled with no qualifications, so shouldn't have an issue finding work in retail, hospitality or care.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 17:54

pelargoniums · 27/05/2025 17:38

She doesn’t have the luxury of doing school runs – the kind of jobs that might let her flex to do pickup then finish work in the evening tend to be skilled and senior. “not wanting” to pay for wraparound care isn’t a thing, it’s just what you do to facilitate having the job that pays the bills.

Not picking on you here! Just fascinated by this thread and the benefits suggestions when actually it boils down to what you’ve said: the OP wants something she can’t have (school runs, zero childcare bill). The tax and benefits system can’t support that!

Don't worry, I don't feel picked on!

I totally agree that what she wants is unrealistic - you can't expect to support a family of five on a part-time income. It's just not possible. If childcare and school runs are a struggle, then you work evenings, or nights, or weekends, or splits - whatever it takes. It's what millions of families do every single day.

Frequency · 27/05/2025 17:55

FairKoala · 27/05/2025 17:41

Because you can’t get a job in Mac Donald’s. Know someone who applied and was told they weren’t qualified (But apparently qualified enough to manage a 500-1000 seater black tie dinner events and have 100 + staff members)

I got told they thought I didn't want a career with them, and they needed someone who was willing to offer a long-term commitment, although that was another chain outlet (EE). Greggs wouldn't even give me an interview (the bastards). And McDonald's weren't even hiring Shock

To be fair to EE, they weren't wrong. My interview went well. I was amenable, confident, and friendly. I've no clue how they guessed I wasn't interested in working with them long-term. Do you think it might be that I have worked in IT for the last 5 years, have recent IT certifications, and am studying more IT qualifications that gave them the impression I didn't want to work in retail/sales?

I imagine Maccies would look at OP's DH in much the same way. I mean, if you were Maccie's, who would you hire, OP's DH, who is clearly interested in careers within skilled trades as evidenced by his work history, or a 16-year-old who will, statistically speaking, stick to the job for 2-5 years while they finish college/uni?

Teateaandmoretea · 27/05/2025 17:58

The thing with jobs though is it does depend where you are. In deprived towns where no one can afford a meal at the pub the pubs close because they have no customers.

I think if you live somewhere more thriving with busy pubs/ restaurants it can be hard to understand how getting a job could be impossible. Also if you aren’t poor you can pay for a qualification - eg security guarding that you’d get a job from.

OP it sounds hard - I’d look to get some more cleaning clients if that is feasible, but again it does depend on where you live as there isn’t the call for house cleaners in a lot of areas.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 17:58

I imagine Maccies would look at OP's DH in much the same way. I mean, if you were Maccie's, who would you hire, OP's DH, who is clearly interested in careers within skilled trades as evidenced by his work history, or a 16-year-old who will, statistically speaking, stick to the job for 2-5 years while they finish college/uni?

But OP is unskilled (she says so herself) - so if all the above is true, why can't she work in McDonald's or retail while her DH picks up the childcare and does the school run on his days off? Or go out to work in the evenings, or at weekends, or even early mornings?

PennywisePoundFoolish · 27/05/2025 17:59

None of my nearest McDonald's are accessible by public transport. I don't know if that's just a quirk of where I live.

I did also find the recruitment process was really slow with my current job (nights in a supermarket). From being offered the job to starting was about 6 weeks. I don't know if that's typical of all supermarkets, though.

Teateaandmoretea · 27/05/2025 17:59

faerietales · 27/05/2025 17:58

I imagine Maccies would look at OP's DH in much the same way. I mean, if you were Maccie's, who would you hire, OP's DH, who is clearly interested in careers within skilled trades as evidenced by his work history, or a 16-year-old who will, statistically speaking, stick to the job for 2-5 years while they finish college/uni?

But OP is unskilled (she says so herself) - so if all the above is true, why can't she work in McDonald's or retail while her DH picks up the childcare and does the school run on his days off? Or go out to work in the evenings, or at weekends, or even early mornings?

I’d choose her DH if it wasn’t for the fact that I didn’t have to pay the 16 year old as much. But most places don’t want 16 year olds either.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 18:00

I think if you live somewhere more thriving with busy pubs/ restaurants it can be hard to understand how getting a job could be impossible. Also if you aren’t poor you can pay for a qualification - eg security guarding that you’d get a job from.

Where we are is the total opposite of "thriving" but there is still work there. It might be rubbish hours or low pay, but it's there.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 18:02

PennywisePoundFoolish · 27/05/2025 17:59

None of my nearest McDonald's are accessible by public transport. I don't know if that's just a quirk of where I live.

I did also find the recruitment process was really slow with my current job (nights in a supermarket). From being offered the job to starting was about 6 weeks. I don't know if that's typical of all supermarkets, though.

McDonald's is just a generic example. Feel free to insert any other employer of your choosing, lol.

From experience, I do think a six week "wait" is pretty unusual - when I worked in a supermarket, I had an interview on the Tuesday and was working on the Thursday. Same in clothing retail - interview on the Saturday, working on the Monday.

stargirl1701 · 27/05/2025 18:03

I think I would sell the house and return to renting, OP. It gives a certain type of security (the housing element of UC). I’m not sure adults on minimum wage should take on a mortgage. Things are only going to get more expensive.

Perfect28 · 27/05/2025 18:05

Is anything stopping either of you working more?

NewMoonToday · 27/05/2025 18:06

stargirl1701 · 27/05/2025 18:03

I think I would sell the house and return to renting, OP. It gives a certain type of security (the housing element of UC). I’m not sure adults on minimum wage should take on a mortgage. Things are only going to get more expensive.

That is not a good suggestion for all sorts of reasons.

They could end up as pensioners renting and unable to pay the rent from a meagre state pension.

There is no security in renting.

The rental market is shrinking because of taxes and government rules affecting landlords.

Need I go on?

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 18:07

WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 09:17

No I think the point is OP is just not telling the truth about their circumstances

Well, that's a separate issue to a poster posting several times in an accusing & unhelpful way (and on other threads)

i don't think it's good to accuse the OP of lying either. I think she's forgotten to include a lot of expenses that drain the bank but you sometimes don't think about (gifts/ tv license type things)

Frequency · 27/05/2025 18:09

faerietales · 27/05/2025 18:02

McDonald's is just a generic example. Feel free to insert any other employer of your choosing, lol.

From experience, I do think a six week "wait" is pretty unusual - when I worked in a supermarket, I had an interview on the Tuesday and was working on the Thursday. Same in clothing retail - interview on the Saturday, working on the Monday.

I was actively seeking work up until last week. None of the local retailers or supermarkets, bar EE, were hiring, and from the many, many fast food outlets in our town, only Greggs were looking for staff. Not a single, solitary pub was hiring, not that we have many left, nor were any restaurants, although again, we don't have many of those left. One pizza shop was hiring and would have hired me on the spot for £5 an hour a free pizza at the end of the shift. I was desperate enough that I would probably have taken it short-term if I actually liked pizza, but I don't.

I checked all of the biggies (Asda, Tesco, Aldi, Burger King etc) and a lot of smaller, independant places too because I thought if I could get in part-time, at least, then if I found something full-time in the area I wanted to work in, I could have re-jigged my hours and worked both jobs, so EE missed out, because I would have stayed longterm to do all the shifts they find hard to cover i.e late evenings and weekends.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 18:13

@Frequency I just don't really believe that neither of them could have found some kind of extra work at some point in the last few years. OP said they've been dipping into savings since November (I think?) was there no temp work anywhere over Christmas, for example?

Two adults with three children just can't expect to survive on the hours they work between them - they need to do something to improve their income.

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 18:16

Sheldonsheher · 27/05/2025 07:45

You need to work more. 20 hours is not much. Your kids are teenagers.

One is a teenager, at least one is in the lower years of primary.

WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 18:18

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 18:07

Well, that's a separate issue to a poster posting several times in an accusing & unhelpful way (and on other threads)

i don't think it's good to accuse the OP of lying either. I think she's forgotten to include a lot of expenses that drain the bank but you sometimes don't think about (gifts/ tv license type things)

I just think it would be a lot easier to sympathise if OP hadn’t made a post saying they have £1200 disposable income a month.

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 18:18

657904I · 27/05/2025 07:46

Sorry but you sound fairly delusional. You have barely worked during your adult life - so why are you surprised that your finances are tight. you both sound like you’re in unskilled work or on low salaries. £85 a month indicates you may need to increase your hours or find higher paying work.

She doesn't only earn £85 pm, that's in addition to her part time wages.

faerietales · 27/05/2025 18:21

WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 18:18

I just think it would be a lot easier to sympathise if OP hadn’t made a post saying they have £1200 disposable income a month.

Quite.

gamerchick · 27/05/2025 18:24

OP you're entitled to some UC if those figures are right..it won't be huge but it's something.

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 18:24

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 27/05/2025 07:55

Hi OP, I did a quick back of a fag packet Universal Credit calculation for you. Based on some of the figures you have for income earlier in the thread.

While I was doing that the thread leapt to 7 pages. So hopefully someone's already been along to say this...

But I think you'd be entitled to around £316 per month.

Based on:

Couple rate: 628.10
Eldest child: 339.09
Other child: 292.81 (I'm assuming 2 kids and the eldest born pre 2017 as you said teens)
Total: 1259.91

Then take your joint monthly wages of 2400 minus the 684 buffer and multiply by 0.55. That's 943.80.

Reduce the 1259.91 by 943.80, leaving a monthly entitlement of 316.11

Sorry if this is a bit intrusive. I know you said you were posting for a moan, not necessarily practical suggestions. But, in your position, I would definitely claim.

I don't think it's 'intrusive', I think it was very nice of you to take the time to do it x

Lifeofthepartay · 27/05/2025 18:26

WhitegreeNcandle · 27/05/2025 06:54

Have a listen to Dave Ramsey. It’s a bit American but they have such a different attitude to work out there. He would be saying you both need to be delivering pizzas (or cleaning, bar work, care work) tonight. Then look for full time work. 30 hours a week is not full time. Minimum 40. With a teen one of you could easily pull 60 hours a week for a few months to build up an emergency fund. The other can do 40. That would literally double your income right now. If not more than that if you are doing less than 20.

Then look to upskill and retrain.

Good luck.

Exactly, no one should be content with barely making ends meet, knowing they are only working half the hours they could. People suggesting asking for universal credit and other benefits are unbelievably naive if they think it is sustainable to have welfare for people choosing not to work full time. 😬

PennywisePoundFoolish · 27/05/2025 18:27

The only thing I'd say about the OPs figures is if they're paid weekly, then don't you have to times by 52 and divide by 12 to get the monthly amount?

I failed GCSE maths twice and I've never claimed UC either, so I'm probably totally wrong