I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Quite. Two adults who have been working part-time for months/years can't be surprised that they're struggling to pay their way.

They are not choosing to work part-time. OP's husband has been job-seeking for 18 months. OP has also been job seeking and trying to find extra hours cleaning.

Yes, they are. Clearly, they need to broaden their options. If something you’re doing isn’t working for a longtime, you do something different.

The OP said she was a SAHM for nearly 10 years. She returned to work 2 years ago. She has a teenager now, so I'm guessing she stopped work when the 2nd was born. The DH was working 60 hrs p/w, they were able to save a deposit to buy a house, and that was a first in their families. Plenty of families have this set up and chiding the OP for not working during that period is of no help whatsoever.

Yes things need to change, but they have both been looking for new jobs and the OP has taken on a side hustle.

Your taxes are not going to them, as their UC entitlement is zero.

There's really no need to act like they're the scourge of society. OP just having a scales from the eyes moment at how bad their situation has got. It is easy to get bogged down in the daily grind. You can tell yourself they're lounging around watching TV if that makes you feel better, though.

Has the value of your house increased since you bought it? You might be able to lower your mortgage payment if so.

Exactly. I worked for years doing 5am starts in a supermarket to pay my bills. I absolutely hated it.

If you're broke, you don't have the luxury of choice.

The OP said she was a SAHM for nearly 10 years. She returned to work 2 years ago. She has a teenager now, so I'm guessing she stopped work when the 2nd was born. The DH was working 60 hrs p/w, they were able to save a deposit to buy a house, and that was a first in their families. Plenty of families have this set up and chiding the OP for not working during that period is of no help whatsoever.

But her DH hasn't worked 60 hours a week for a long time now, and all their children are in school, so between them, they need to find more work. They're fit, healthy adults who shouldn't be looking to the benefits system to support them when they're perfectly able to work, and are just choosing not to.

OP's comments about wishing they were renting so that they could rely on benefits speaks volumes IMO.

I don’t understand. Your DH is main earner and his hours have reduced in addition to his rate of pay and you have tried to help by getting a part time low paid job. In the meantime, the COL has gone up. Your DH needs to get a second job. You can do some free courses available via the government to upskill and get a better paid job. My cleaner earns a lot more than minimum wage

How much do the 15 streaming services add up to?

I worked 2 full-time jobs while studying and caring for a child with health issues, but I don't see how that, or your working in a supermarket, is relevant to the OP?

You don't have the monopoly on hard work, you know?

OP hasn't given any details. She could be living rurally or in an area with limited opportunities, poor transport links, and high rates of unemployment. Her DH might have been applying to supermarkets, or they might not have any within commuting distance. We don't know.

Oh my dear. I feel exactly the same. Almost everyone is feeling this way. At least your husband and children are healthy and alive. (I assume).

She then went back on the renting statement to say she realises having a mortgage gives more security, and cited neighbours who were evicted and needing to find new rentals. She was just panicking because there's little help with mortgage payments.

They are working, they are actively seeking other employment and the OP has the sacred cleaning and ironing side hustle. Hopefully it will grow, but of course a lot of people are also cutting back on their expenses, and cleaners and sending ironing out will be top of the list for many.

I'm not saying I have the monopoly on anything, I'm saying that two adults expecting to support themselves working 45 hours a week between them are taking the piss, quite frankly.

The answer shouldn't be "go on benefits" - the answer should be "you need to work more hours, work opposing shifts and pay for childcare if needed".

Yes. In some situations. Better long term solution for the UK tax payer.

So it’s ok for benefits / the tax payer to pay £1400 of UC housing benefit to a BTL landlord of a claimant who will submitting a indefinite claim versus £700 of a mortgage payment on the same level property to facilitate a family becoming self sufficient within 25 years.

Think about it.

What’s best for the tax payer? To make BTL landlords even richer and price locals out of buying starter homes and forcing them into long term rental properties because UC will pay their rent or support 1st time buyers.

Think of it to be a scheme, like the one which gives discounts for council tenants to buy their council properties at a hefty discount (i.e. tax payer funded discounts).

The fact that UC housing element pays rent just drives up rental prices.

They can’t be looking that hard as my 18 year old managed to get a job with no experience after a couple of months

OP hasn't said how they're seeking other employment - no mention of working weekends, or evenings, or even night shifts to make some extra income?

I could be wrong, but it reads as though the DH is looking for more hours in his existing trade and OP needs to be around for school runs and doesn't want to pay for childcare to enable her to do more.

I'm honestly baffled that so many think the answer to two adults working part-time hours with three children and struggling to pay living costs is "go on benefits" rather than "go and work in McDonald's".

25% of gross income should be reasonable for a mortgage payment, and OP is around 25% of net so the issue isn't income/mortgage proportion (approx net income £2800).

You're right that some wages haven't increased in line with CoL, but the main issue here is that neither OP or DH are working f/t, and have 3 (possibly more?) children.

Cleaning and ironing is fine BUT make it into a business.
Get a website or use Facebook and advertise.

She doesn’t have the luxury of doing school runs – the kind of jobs that might let her flex to do pickup then finish work in the evening tend to be skilled and senior. “not wanting” to pay for wraparound care isn’t a thing, it’s just what you do to facilitate having the job that pays the bills.

Not picking on you here! Just fascinated by this thread and the benefits suggestions when actually it boils down to what you’ve said: the OP wants something she can’t have (school runs, zero childcare bill). The tax and benefits system can’t support that!

Because you can’t get a job in Mac Donald’s. Know someone who applied and was told they weren’t qualified (But apparently qualified enough to manage a 500-1000 seater black tie dinner events and have 100 + staff members)

I'd be very surprised if the op even looks at the last few pages let alone comments again.

What happens if the wraparound care bill and all the other expenses of going to work takes all of the salary you are working for

The benefits system is not supporting it as they get zero UC. I don't know why that's hard to understand.

The OP said wraparound care at the school wasn't guaranteed and the childminders were too expensive. Although it may be childminders fees would mean they would be entitled to UC. There goes your precious taxes

Because her CV no doubt had all of this stellar experience when they want people who are unqualified and not using this as a stepping stone/filler job

I'm referring to all the posters telling OP to try and claim more benefits.

I have zero issue with my taxes going towards supporting parents to work full-time. I do have an issue with people choosing to work part-time when they have three children to support.

I'm not sure that's a particularly contentious viewpoint, but maybe it is.