I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

At least you are able to work, can you or your partner not get second jobs or jobs with more hours. How old are the kids? Are they old enough to go around the neighbourhood offering to wash cars or mow lawns for a bit of extra cash to help out? I had to stop working unexpectedly in January due to disability and my husband has had to go part-time to care for me. I am on ESA which is approx. £281 every 2 weeks he gets paid 4 weekly and he gets about £900, we run one car cos he needs it to get to work and i need to get to hospital appointments, thank God we don't have kids. We food shop once a week as cheaply as possible, our food budget has greatly reduced, we don't eat out or even go out much, we only use the washing machine and dishwasher over night while its cheap and get up super early to shower while the electricity is still on the cheaper rate. I'm dreading birthdays and Christmas cos i don't if we will be able to afford presents even for family. We have had to raid my inheritance to keep on top of our bills and we are so stressed about keeping up with the mortgage, we never had this problem when we both worked full time and I can't lose my house.

How can she do a school run when they don't have a car (and perhaps don't drive?)

Does she mean she walks the younger kids to school?

God knows. Maybe the school run is with the missing £1k a month.

I don’t think it’s fair or helpful to start trying to pick the op apart and make out they’re lying.

Unfortunately working part time was never going to be sustainable. You and DH need to work full time, or at least one of you work full time and the other stay part time.

What kind of jobs are you applying for to receive zero responses? You need to widen your net and apply for everything going. Certain sectors such as childcare and social care are crying out for more staff. If you need school hours, can you not get a TA job in a school or other school based job?

It's half-term. She could have picked up an extra cleaning shift. Given her posts earlier, I don't see any need to be getting suspicious.

And I don’t think this is fair or helpful either. You’ve given good advice to now, don’t spoil it

What's so baffling about someone walking the kids to school? Thousands do it every day and call it the school run.

I think you said your energy bills vary each month - could you look at fixing them and see if you can get a good rate that way?

@pinkdelight How do you know she's a cleaner?

If she does the school run by walking, it’s safe to assume the eldest child could take over and walk their younger siblings to school while she works.

I wasn't the poster who queried the school run.

I was replying to someone else who did and I said she might mean walking.

One way you're husband could work full time and have overtime is working in a care home.
He would get at least 40 hrs+ overtime, would come home with about £1500 after Tax insurance and pension.
This will give you some peace of mind for you both, he also will be able to train in new skill and move up later on in time.
I do agree with the others that you need to look at your budget.

"I just don't seem to have enough money"

This sounds like you need to sit down with your DH & work out

This is not an "I" problem, but a family problem

All wages
All out going expenses
Is there any money left ?
Plan of action to earn more money
Plan to save for the future

errr...the children won't be at the same school.

The older child takes a bus- read all her posts.

Her posts are all over the place. She needs to get real about the £1k going missing a month.

I think you're being a bit unfair.

We don't know if their income is net or gross, for a start.
It comes to around £2K a month.

It does leave around £1K when you add up all the outgoings, but she's not accounted for food (maybe £150? a week for a family of 5)

No account of packed lunches, school dinner, etc.

And there are no clothes in her list - ok they won't be bought every month.

Yes but finances for some people are tricky things and getting it wrong, or missing something, or being confused are not indicators of someone “all over the place” or lying.

let’s stick to the helpful advice eh

I don’t think I am.

OP stated her husband works 30 hours a week on £16 an hour. This is just above £1,900 a month before tax, about £1,670 after tax. OP states she earns £800 a month- this will be tax free. She has listed her fixed outgoings to be £1,230 a month.

That leaves a surplus of £1,240 a month. That is a hell of a lot of money to spend each month with nothing left over.

Assuming it's half-term where the OP is, there's several possibilities - her employer allows her to do a different shift pattern during the holidays/DC1 is baby-sitting the younger children/DH has holiday booked/his employer allows shift pattern change during school holidays too

If a figure varies in a bill, you should always budget for the top amount. This creates a buffer for any individual unexpected bill, and for several big bills coming in at once.

But other PP are right, increasing your income is the key here. More hours is one option, but getting paid more per hour is another.

Can you look up jobs that are 1-2 grades above your current job and identify what you need to move on from the job description - e.g. a skill or qualification you're missing? You can then look up cheap/free ways to achieve that before considering paid.

Studying for that skill in the time you bring in £85 could help a lot more than the £85 in the long run.

It's a way of life for me. At Christmas, I identify a top or jeans on a second hand site like Depop or Vinted, and my wife buys them for me as a gift. It's just the way things have went as the cost of everything has skyrocketed. At least I have something to open on Christmas Day, I suppose.

£50 is a lot of money for 3 phone contracts, you must be able to find cheaper ones that work, I have just changed mine from £18pm to £8pm with the same unlimited calls and texts and more data, my husbands is about £6 only a little less data, so there are deals out there you just have to look for them. Can your teen get a Saturday or after school job? Cut down on streaming services, they are not necessary, we cut off prime and changed Netflix to their cheapest option, we only have Disney+ cos my friend gave us one of her extra logins. If the school run is an issue, what about an evening job? I used to know loads of parents at my old workplace who would come in after the school run and stack shelves or man tills for 4 hours at time. Try and set up a spreadsheet for ALL of your money; incomings and outgoings. Keep all your receipts and log them in your spreadsheet, that may make it easier to keep track of where your money is going. My husband does that and every penny is accounted for. He knows here everything is. His new thing is if we come in under budget on the food shop (we only buy the bare minimum) what's left goes into another account and goes towards covering things that we don't buy every week e.g. washing liquid, toothpaste, shower gel. Take advantage of store cards, Nectar in Sainsburys is great cos most things have a slightly cheaper nectar price an earning points can save you money in the long run.

Yes it can be tricky, but OP isn’t exactly in a position where her outgoings outweigh her income. She has also decimated her savings - on what???? She needs to be frank.