I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

True, that way he could probably make more money from the same amount of work (if the market is the bottleneck). It may be hard to get momentum if he is competing in the same territory as his former employer.

I don’t think a detailed analysis of OPs outgoings is going to make a huge difference here.

Being surprised that you can’t run a family household when neither parent works FT is disingenuous.

We switched mobiles to iD mobile and saved a lot.

Sorry I have no more useful suggestions, in reality you both need more hours and that's not always easy.

You both need new jobs. Full time ones. Your husband has been the main earner and his hours have dropped from 60 hours to 30 hours. What underpinned your decision to have more than one child? That too sounds expensive in your position.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think OP can send the child back now?

How unkind.

I am so sorry you're going through this hardship. I haven't read all the replies and updates, however I am posting to let you know that it's not necessarily that you are overspending and can cut your way back into the black. The costs of very basic things have gone up significantly.

Things like meats, fruit and cereals, bread etc have gone up.

Please keep pushing to stay afloat until the economy improves. It has been hollowed out and money has basically disappeared from the economy.

I feel for you OP!

I think your DH will need a second job so he has a chance to make up full time hours x

Quite

Yes, basic food prices have rocketed in the past year. I was usually pleasantly surprised when I shopped (Aldi, usually). Not any more, I’m more often shocked these days.

Yep. Correct. The post should be ‘We have no money because we work part time and have two kids’.

So maybe a small point - £50 for three phone contracts could be halted easily. For example GiffGaff do them for £8 each per month.

Sounds tough. Good luck to you guys.

Sorry if anyone’s already suggested this, I’ve only read your updates.
Not an instant fix, but have a look at the Land Registry for jobs. My husband started with them after being made redundant and is doing really well. No qualifications/skills needed. He mentioned they are currently hiring for a new intake at entry level.
Very flexible hours! Lots of people work it around school drop offs etc.

Also take a look at “Diary of a Cheapskate” on TikTok, lots of other similar accounts too with loads of tips to save money.

3 kids

its not fair, we were taught to work hard , save and the future would be good and now families like yours are being hammered in an economy that seems to only be interested in supporting the work shy and feckless.

we have had difficult times in our life and worked our way out of it but it was an anxious time. I wish you well.

The good news is that there is an obvious reason why you are struggling this month and something can be done about it.

What you need to start doing is thinking ahead. Your husband needs to forecast what his chances of going back to more hours are. If low, but temporary, he needs to look for a temporary evening job. If low but likely permanent, he needs to apply to anything that offers full time hours.

Same with you. As things are, so you working together less hours than he was on his own and your outgoings have increased, so you can't continue as it is. Sit down together and plan for the future.

If your husband is highly skilled and known in his area has he reached out recruiters, that would be the best way for him to get work in the same field and get pushed to the top of the pile.

both your approaches to finding better paid work has to change.

OCS group are looking for cleaners at the moment.

I think some of the comments here towards the OP have been a bit harsh, I'm sure she is aware that extra hours and different jobs would help the situation she finds herself in, even on part time wage and a lowish salary her and her husband have bought a property and not claiming benefits. she should be proud of what they have achieved.

I'm sure the OP has forgotten to add some of her outgoings on to her list such as Insurances ( contents, buildings Life etc) pension payments, TV licence, broadband sky etc.

It does seem very judgmental on here this morning and I guess the average house hold income of those commenting and offering 'advice' are far greater and feel they can comment on how she has made some not so great choice

OP is doing ok I think, there i a lot of people working pay day to pay on far higher wages and borrowing to do so

Sorry comments about why did they choose to have more than one child is out of order! They both work! I have five at home currently, two older ones you can choose to have as many as children as you like, as long as you work hard in my opinion.
You only get one chance to have children as a woman by a certain age, unfortunately money and adaptations have to be forgotten a little if you want a family, because time runs out otherwise.
I would suggest looking at out goings for both of you, and look at things you don't use much these days like subscriptions if you have prime each you don't need it, you can add family onto prime so you can both have prime but on one account not many people know that about Amazon.
Also look at bills see if you can swap utility companies or ring them and say it's very expensive my electricity bill see if they can reduce it. Look if you are owed any tax back.

Food I would cut down on snacks and try and buy yellow sticker food and make meals out of that as much as possible, my local sainsburys is excellent on a sunday I always batch and freeze stuff. Or use the too good to go app and get things like Sushi if you like it as a treat or sandwiches from Greggs to feed you all) look of you can grow things yourself like potatoes and herbs. Could you get a chicken for eggs? Investments now but all help later on.

Can you walk a bit more instead of the bus if you had more time now? As the weather is getting better or does your council offer a cheaper bus for your children under the transport team?
Is there any top-up benefits you are missing out on? And can your partner look for an extra job or up his hours in his current job? Could you both find new jobs? It's hard life so expensive these days. I'm lucky we don't have a mortgage or rent to pay for anymore I am mortgage free at age 30. Incredibly lucky.
Take care.

foraging for apples no doubt and eating porridge for 2 meals a day

@36912aceg If when you comeback from work, you read the posts, here's what you need to think about.

This situation has arisen because of many bad choices over the years.

The first is that you chose not to work for 10 years (and had 3 children then) and relied on your H to earn. That was a time when you could have earned something.

He earns by the hour it seems, so no matter what his skills are, that isn't great if the demand rises and falls.

You have not had a back up plan if his work decreased. Or enough savings to tide you over for several months.

For whatever reason, you've chosen to work around 15 hours a week (on £13 an hour) when you could work more. Either you're doing 8-11, 9-12, for 5 days or longer hours for 3 days.

Why aren't you using after school clubs so you can work longer?
Have you worked out if you'd be better off working 37 hrs a week and paying for after school clubs?

Working part time when both of you are on a minimum wage (he's on £16 an hour and now works part time) is never going to be enough to bring up 3 kids and pay the mortgage.

The only way it's worked so far is that you have relatively a very low mortgage - it was around £120K - and he was working more hours.

You should never have relied on his 60 hours a week lasting.

I really think you should get your mortgage reassessed and switch it. £700 a month is a lot for that amount. Same for your phones, utilities and streaming.

Longer term you both need to learn to drive (I'm assuming you don't from what you have said) because that will open up more options for work and save on fares.

@Mummyto7lovelife How the heck are you mortgage free at 30? I assume you live somewhere where a house is dirt cheap! Or you've won the lottery.

To a degree I think this is a perennial problem if you have an average job with average (if any) sort of pay rises. My parents always found their money going less far as time went on. BUT at least they could get a mortgage in their 20s, both working, on their bang average working class salaries and their pensions weren't too bad, though they did live quite frugally in retirement and weren't exactly off on round the world cruises. They lived somewhere they enjoyed instead and didn't feel the need to go on lots of holidays.

And I do think since the 2008 financial crash things have got worse for those in middle and low incomes- i.e. the vast majority of people. Lower standard of living, salaries have not kept pace with the cost of living, energy costs making that much worse since 2020 and the ridiculous cost of housing since the 2000s. Some things like consumer goods, phone contracts etc are now cheaper but the regular outgoings are all a lot more. And went up so quickly in 2022, it was ridiculous.

Some of this was inevitable with globalisation and wages getting more homogenised throughout the world, and only fair. But some of it is absolute unfettered exponential greed by a tiny majority who are seemingly trying to create a elite class and a serf class as in the middle ages.

If you were renting, you’d be entitled to help with the rent from UC; though. It’s because you own that you’re not.

But you own now and it’d be ludicrous to sell for that reason; plus any capital would have to be spent first, so it’s a moot point now.

Your husband might be skilled but it sounds like his industry is dying? That’s a big drop in hours, and an hourly rate reduction, too.

You need more hours, somewhere. It’s rubbish but it’s true. I’m presuming you can’t easily exit phone contracts or anything?