I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

At 200 a week and 3-400 a week respectively both of you are hardly working. It's what, 15, 20 hours a week?
Its not reasonable to expect to sustain a family off barely a full time job between you, especially as these are low wage jobs.
If your partners job is not delivering the hours it used to, he needs to look for a new, full time permanent job that will guarantee a full time income, and you need to up your hours considerably as you are barely working 2 days per week.

Money isn't free! You have to work for it.

A couple of years ago DH had his hours cut. They kept him on but he lost 2 days a week. It was really, really hard as it came out of nowhere. Also an extra kick in the teeth as he loved his job.

We survived as he picked up extra minimum wage work. He did a zero hour bar contract and then he got a part time job at Tesco. We also considered warehouse work before this. It wasn’t ideal and the pay was less than he was getting at his usual job but we had to survive. DH is a skilled individual, especially within his field but he had to swallow his pride and do what he needed to, to survive. It always baffles me when people can’t get a job in their field so they would rather not work at all. You’re both working part time hours OP. One of you needs to up that.

We lived like this for approx 7 months whilst he searched for another job and thankfully he got one. He is much happier now and on much more money as progression is a lot faster as current company too.

I think you have 2 problems. First is immediate problem of how do you pay the bills right now. That’s going to be more hours worked. You both work part time right now so you simply need some more hours. Anything will do- McDonald’s night shift at the weekend? They’re literally always hiring. Pub at the weekend? 8 hours extra per week would probably do it. If you both got an 8 hour shift at the weekend that would be a game changer.

The longer term issue is you both being min wage/ close to min wage earners. You need some form of plan to get a skill that will improve your earnings. I’m not really talking Uni, as that’s expensive.

I would start by doing some research about what skills are needed in your area and work backwards from there. So the steps would be:

1. where is hiring nearby that’s a good salary with progression
2. what skills do I need to be able to do those jobs
3. is it realistic for me to get those skills
4. where can I get those skills/ quals in my area
5. how do I balance work with getting those quals.

Ideally there would be an employer in your area who is always hiring for a specific role which requires a qualification you can get at a night class in your local area.

OR a remote employer is hiring x job which needs Y skill that you can study for online.

But the gradual degradation of the quality of living in the UK is just all a bit shit, isn't it? It's OK to feel annoyed and upset about the fact that life in the UK isn't what it used to be.

Hear hear
@heffalumpwoozle

I can see things are very tight. You haven't even included clothes, repairs, replacing household items in your outgoings. It sounds as if you know the issue is finding alternative / extra work. It's a tough job market out there and especially for your husband if he's feeling down about it all. Has he looked at all possible sources of advice and support? https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/careers-advice

There is still PT evening work available in many areas (bar, Maccies etc). It's grim to work long hours with children too, but could you stomach this for, say, six months and build a bit of a cushion?

I don’t understand why your husband has stayed in a job on a low hourly wage and not enough hours. He could quite easily get a different full time job with more hours and a higher hourly wage, most retail jobs would do this.

I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Surely you can see that you both work part time and don't bring enough money in??

If you both worked full time, that's how you can 'get more money'...

Have a moan, yes you should, but also both you AND your husband need to increase your hours, and there is room for you to do that, especially if DH shares some of the school drop offs and pick ups regulary on set days.

Same goes for you too if not needing to be home for the children.

It’s not very very very rare. We’ve had at least £250 in each of our Nationwide accounts in the last few years. And that’s £250 more than someone at banks have got.

You don't need a phone contract? giffgaff £10 a month is great

I assume he is a skilled tradesman, working for a company and is effectively being 'laid off' as there isn't enough work coming in.

So it might be the construction industry- brickie, tiler, painter, etc.

@36912aceg If he re-trains as plumber he'll be a millionaire before long- no one can find a plumber for love nor money!

Sounds like one or both of you you may need to increase your hours or supplement income. Some suggestions: dog walking, pet feeding, childminding (even if just wrap around care), working nights at an online grocery fulfilment store?

I just don’t get it. We both work

but you don’t work enough hours @36912aceg. You are both part time

Yes I completely understand how unfair that is that skilled workers aren’t supported but at the end of the day if it’s not paying your bills you need to do something about it. No point being loyal to it

I don't know if you do any of this already,

but you say your gas and electric varies, is your gas and electric on a fixed tariff or variable?
If it's a variable I suggest getting in touch with your G&E company and getting a fixed tariff sorted out so you have some control on that. That will help reduce at least one bit of your bills.

Travel wise: do you do weekly tickets, monthly etc? Depending on the type of travel you all use, can you save money by buying weekly or monthly tickets? Sometimes travel apps(e.g Buses) have cheaper tickets on their apps.

Phone contracts: Have you looked into how much you all pay Vs use? Sometimes people stick to one contact for ages thinking it's cheap, when in fact sometimes it's not the right contract. We all use our phones so much. Maybe have a look into some new contacts? You'd be surprised at how cheap some could be and a better off deal.

Food shops: How many times do you do food shops? Weekly, fortnightly or monthly?
Maybe try changing your shopping routine if weekly, try buying a bit more extra on essentials things during the shops, things you know you need and use, but also buy things you can store away for when bits rung out faster than planned (long life milk if you have a lot of teas or coffees) and try cutting down to fortnightly shops?

As I said, don't know if you've done these already. But these would be my suggestions. I had to majorly cut down on things a couple years ago as was in a similar situation and these things were something that helped me to cut down and I could see it helping you.

You don't have any clue where OP is located or what industry they work in, so how can you blithely say just work more hours you lazy dossers?

OPs posts read as though her husband has some niche and possibly redundant trade or skill which used to be in high demand. Yes he can retrain or change jobs but it is not something that they can turnaround in a week or two.

Or seriously think about training/getting qualifications in order to raise their standard of living?

@36912aceg why not consider something like training as a nursery nurse or TA and then at least you can work term times? It's not great money but it will be better than what you're doing now.

If he does have some 'niche' skill he could think about being self employed, setting up his own company and website. She says he has glowing testimonials for work he's done.

Have you looked into various benefits? Would you qualify for UC? Lots of working people do.

Hope you manage to find something more secure.

OP, it's really tough and I get you. You're doing well.
Unfortunately your DH might have to change sectors for something unskilled (even like hospitality) to guarantee full time work - or you work while he does school runs.
These are tough times. Do apply for UC sd you might be surprised to find out You're entitled, as well as 85% of childcare costs if you hire someone to do school runs so you can work.

See if you can get a benefit check to find out if you’re entitled to some universal credit. There are some online calculators, they’re not great but might give you an idea. Citizens advice or your local council may provide this as a service.

You’re on two part time wages currently.

Your husband needs to up his hours, find a new job, get a second job and you also need to switch.

Im not sure what you’re currently doing but even supermarket work pays more than £200 a week and you can pick up over time and extra shifts.

An extra £85 for doing ironing and cleaning for a whole month doesn’t sound much. Are you charging correctly?

I would personally be applying for all of your local supermarkets. You can pick up evening/weekend shifts and will also get store discount on your food shop.

The bottom line is you’re struggling because the both of you collectively aren’t working enough hours.

There’s another thread on here where some people are surprised how much cleaners charge.

There’s a shortage of good cleaners, too. Some where we are have waiting lists.

Could you and your husband take training courses (some can be done online) and set up in cleaning?

The shop where I work generally is always looking for staff, so I assume there's a fair number out there you have/will have availability soon. Might be worth enquiring. Some are irregular shifts though, but where I work it's mixed. I only work Sundays (as I took as an extra job to my weekday job) and my days are fixed. There's regularly extra shifts, ie I worked last Saturday as well.

Might not pay loads, but if it'd give one/both of you extra hours, it may help a little.