To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

I had a teaspoon in a cup of tea, split tea, spoon fell out, I slipped, spoon took my toenail off. I tried to step over the mess, cut my good foot on my broken cup, needed stitches. I couldn't wear shoes on either foot.

Broke my little toe.

7 weeks post partum.

By walking into the kitchen island in own house and catching toe on the corner. Which was only possible becayse it was in the brief period I wasn’t wearing those sodding compression socks.

Cut my nose with the razor when shaving my legs in the bath.

How?? 😂

I put my hand into the blender to unjam it without switching it off first…

Had a gas hob. Bent down to put something in oven below and set my hair on fire.

Stood on a rake which whacked me fully on the nose. You only ever do it once…

I'm really short sighted but didn't have my glasses on and bent over too far to check what I was doing, and the razor slipped!

Sneezed and somehow managed to cause extensive nerve damage to my lower back. I couldn't walk for days and was prescribed diazepam which resulted in weird hallucinations.

Awful at the time but I laugh about it now 🤣

I dislocated a finger trying to yank my handbag out of the back of the car, having earlier hooked the handle over the back of the seat so that no one could open the door and steal my handbag ...

Like a proper Tom & Jerry cartoon??

I was washing my face too vigorously, my little finger went all the way up my nostril and cause a horrendous nose bleed!

Dislocated my shoulder to avoid treading on a piece of lego

Played hide and seek on soft play with my 7 year old. Tripped over a soft block. Broke my foot and ripped my tendons. Kids bounce and 40 years olds don’t.

I've given myself a black eye. I was trying to open a pack of ham. I am really clumsy and often have large bruises...

Weeding in the big flower bed, noticed a beautiful Dahlia bud about to bloom. Went to step over it, fell (no idea how or why) and fractured my thigh. Dahlia unharmed.

My cut leg after a handstand collapse doesn't sound that ridiculous now...

I sat on hair straighteners in the buff when I was about 19. Couldn’t sit down properly for ages!

At least you know your plan works! 😂

It was foolproof 😆

When I was a kid I was balancing along a fence at the park (as you do), fell off and whacked my chin on the fence on the way down, managed to bite my tongue down both sides and could eat properly for ages!

Tried to cut frozen cheese, knife slipped and sliced the end of my thumb off.

Drove to hospital, got stitched up, drove home - starving.

Dogs had eaten all the fucking cheese.

Last week I was trying to open a bottle of wine.

I pulled the corkscrew hard and punched myself in the face, staggered backwards, banged into the folded ironing board that was leaning against a cupboard and ended up on my arse where the ironing board promptly fell down and hit me on the back of the neck.

I didn't spill a drop of wine though.

So bloody proud of myself! 😁🍷🍷

A serious burn covering a lot of a limb… from flower sap.

Huge bruise on my leg from falling over absolutely nothing on a beach, somehow managing to land all my weight on my other foot.

Fractured my thumb pushing a trolley full of paperwork at an old job and steered it into a wall.

I have many!

I knocked the food processor blade off the work surface and managed to catch it, slicing through my fingers 😬