To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

I broke my ribs, putting on my dressing gown. I had grabbed the waist tie(?) and went to knot it quickly, managing to hook my foot in the process. Unbalanced and on one leg, I hopped comedy style before crashing ribs first into the corner of my dressing table.

I sprained my foot badly just walking across the carpet, My foot just sort of half come out of my slipper and just twisted over the top.

I have two.

1. fell down the stairs of a posh bar on Marylebone High Street underneath a sigh which said “Caution - Steep Stairs” whilst wearing v high heels and completely sober. Grade 3 ankle ligament tear, requiring £500 of physio. Threw out ever pair of high heels I owned after that.
2. poked myself in the eye big style with a hair brush whilst drying my hair. It was two days before my dad’s funeral and I had to turn up with a black eye. Also had to field questions from colleagues when back at work who were not aware I had a bereavement, and were also puzzled as to why I was sporting a huge shiner.

Went to collect a parcel from our communal mailroom. I held back the very heavy spring door with one hand while I bent to pick up the parcel with the other hand, turned around and moved forward just as I let go of the door. It slammed hard into my face, nearly knocked me out. Just about dragged myself back up to my flat, seeing stars, and within half an hour had the most massive black eye I’ve ever seen. Absolute mortification for the 3 weeks it took to clear up.

I once dislocated my thumb getting toothpaste out of the tube.

Getting ready to go out for a posh dinner/big event with the whole family, stood on one leg to put tights on, and my back gave way. I was in awful pain, fell forward on to the bed, where my husband found me about 15 minutes later when he came up to see where I was. He helped me finish dressing, I took some codeine and a large slug of vodka, and made it through the meal. Took several weeks and osteopath visits to get over it. I now sit down to put tights on!!!

Unless you're sideshow bob

Frozen shoulder aged 16 by getting the tv remote off the coffee table. I have been taking the remotes off the coffee table for years then one day, I injured my shoulder.

At previous job, I was helping a colleague who was struggling with a security tag with pin. Somehow, no idea how, the security tag was attached to the webbing between thumb and forefinger. Only thing to do was to remove tag over the strong magnet used to remove the tags! Oh so painful. Bruises over thumb

I threw a satsuma in the air, looked up to see how high I'd got it and it hit me right in the eye. Had a huge black eye for ages.

I was sticking my middle finger up at my friend who was looking at me out of my bedroom window, I was on ghe road below, but I did that thing where you bring your arm down on your inner elbow and bring your middle finger up at the same time. My middle finger went straight into my eye! I had to stay off school and see the doctor the next morning it hurt so much

You're not alone, a friend went for a pee behind a shed and stood on a rake... Resulting in a broken nose!

Coughed and slipped a disc, I was 18, Im now in my 50s and still suffer with back pain because of it

Sat on a step, on the first day of a holiday in Derbyshire a few years ago, got up, absolutely knackered my back and couldnt walk properly or move around for the rest of the holiday. Was in agony.

Have at various points grated my knuckle while zesting lemons, cut my fingers while shaving my legs, banged myself in the face many a time with cupboards, my own hands. Poked my eyes several times with the arms of my glasses. Today nearly fell over trying to pull a wire out from the sofa, the wire detached from the charger and I went flying backwards like a cartoon and fell into a chair, thank god and not the floor. Also like others have managed to set fire to sleeves and hair leaning over the hob.

And dont mention dropping things which will always land, corner side down, on my un slippered toe.

I was trying to find the gif of that to post 😂😂😂

Unless you have horses. In which case it's a regular occurrence.

Stubbed my toe lurching around in the dark coming back to bed from the toilet, it was so sodding painful and still throbs sometimes when I put my trainer on. Utterly ridiculous. I think I may have fractured it 😢

Ouch!

Had a metal shed in the garden that had sliding doors across the front that met in the middle. They got jammed open one day, so I was tugging at them, then stuck my head inside to see if I could work out what was stopping them from shutting. Forgot to stop tugging and doors chose that moment to come free, trapping my head inbetween them. Fortunately no one saw, but I was crying and laughing at the ridiculousness of it, with my head stuck in the doors! No serious injury, just very sore ears for a day or two.

Gave myself a black eye when pulling up a suitcase handle, I was rather forceful and my hand slipped right off straight into my face.

Gave myself a fat lip minutes later when demonstrating how it happened to the friend that collected me from the airport.

My husband threw me a Kit Kat which had been in the freezer - hit me straight on the bridge of my nose and caused a massive cut. It was hilarious but really hurt so there were both tears of pain and hilarity.

At Cabo Girao in Madeira, which is Europe’s tallest viewing platform. There are some steps halfway down. Woman slipped on them, colliding into me. Massive bruises on wrist (surprised not broken), thigh and arm.

I fractured my shin bone trying not to offend vicars. Yes plural!

I worked in a pub in a University city near the cathedral. There was a special do on for a vicar (I guess he got his first post or something) and I had to bring out trays of volevons.

I had on mega wide trousers being an emo kid and arms full of metal trays of volevons. As I walked into the room set aside for the do, i tripped on my own trousers and fell down 3 steps, landing my shin on the steps.

The volevons went rolling everywhere, there were cassocks everywhere, and I couldnt even swear!

They had to cut my mega wide spase jeans off me in hospital too! My leg had swollen that much 😅😅😅

Bending over to pick up my dogs poo, she pulled on the lead and I fell face first into said poo!

@Fallinleaves

I broke my own nose by punching myself in the face! 🤦‍♀️

I was a student but definitely sober!...

Dropped my keys on walk home from work, realised, re-traced my steps, found them in the road, quite bent, having been run over by a car, tried to open the front door, key got stuck, no-one was home so I pulled with all my might....lost grip, fist flew back, punched myself on the nose!!

Too many .. also did the blender one to unjam it (after a wine) and ended up with 12 stitches, fell off the patio (tiny gradient!) and broke my leg. Am currently sporting broken fingers from netball …

I checked to see if a craft knife was sharp by drawing it across my finger