To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

Pulled up the duvet forgetting my phone was on it. Smacked self in face with said phone causing a black eye!

Most recent - slipping on some water in the bathroom and fracturing my coccyx and getting two black eyes

Most ridiculous - doing ju jitsu and landing on my big toe and breaking it

I'm fairly accident prone!

Gave myself concussion and a broken nose after tripping over the dog and head butting the kitchen worktop.

While a student nurse in a and e attempted to snap the top off a glass ampoule of an anti. Coagulant. Messed this up and sliced open my thumb which therefore wouldn't stop bleeding. Acquired an injury requiring accident and emergency while working in accident and emergency

My favourite one was when I lost my kitchen scissors. So I bought a new pair that were wrapped in that god awful vacuum packed thick plastic - that you ironically need a pair of scissors to open. So I picked a nice sharp knife that slipped against the plastic and went straight through the fleshy thumb bit on the palm of my hand. Would not recommend.

I got trapped in electric doors at Iceland.
I was stood to the side of them against the inside of the shopfront glass with my hands on my hips. The doors opened and wedged my elbow between the door and the shopfront glass.
I got completely stuck, my Dad had to pull me out and then I fainted because of the shock and a large wound. An off duty nurse helped me come around and then sent me off to A&E (which was just 5 mins away, conveniently)

Approaching the settee to fluff the cushions, toes went under the settee and for some reason the big toe nail didn't and got caught on the material.
I ended up with an unattached flippy floppy toe nail, no way could I just grit my teeth and pull it off, was a long 8 months until it grew out but has never been flat since.

Some other comments have just reminded me about the little slice of pinkie finger I have missing on my right hand.

I was doing the washing up, I didn’t realise a glass had a crack in it and a mixture of my hand inside the glass and the hot water meant the whole thing shattered and sliced right into my finger leaving a little flappy bit hanging off. I bandaged it up straight away but the edges didn’t properly heal so I have a scar and dent in that finger now.

I decided to spiralise a courgette which was fine. I then tried a carrot which slipped and I spiralised my thumb instead. I stuck my knuckle back on which was hanging by a thread but it's never been quite right since.

Oh...and a corned beef tin, get it wrong and they take no prisoner's, you're never going to win.....far to much blood to even want to think about it.

Broke my foot by dropping a bin on it. Felt so silly, my GP thought it was hilarious though? 😂

Slipped on some ice, my leg went underneath me and I broke it in 3 places. Six months in plaster cast from hip to toe..... Went shopping in town in the wheelchair. Went down a slope but the brakes didn't work. Nearly went through a plate glass window of a supermarket. Luckily a very kind gentleman stopped the wheelchair in time.....🙃

Urgh, sympathy for all the nail related stuff, especially toe nails, I'm not overly squeamish but for some reason anything nail related gives me the heebie jeebies. Probably related to the fact that pulling them off has been used as a form of torture.

Solidarity to everyone on here in the "Whoops" Club keeping cheerful in the aftermath even though it must have been horrendous at the time. Glad we've all lived to tell the tales!!

Thought there was a spider on my top when I was getting dressed. Fell backwards in my panic and hit my neck on the corner of the bed. Neck brace for a while and permanent muscle damage.
To top it off I lived with my male flat mate, who came running in to see what had happened. He was also my boss. I had no bottoms on and my top hanging half on half off.

It was fluff. Almost broke my neck for fluff.

Stepped on a sewing needle and it went right through the middle of my second toe and out the other side.

Dropped a new reinforced divan bed on my right big toe. Because of Covid it could only be taken to room. They couldn’t put it together. I never ever felt it when it happened. Was that quick and was so shocked. I looked down my toe was covered in blood and nail was half ripped off and sticking up.

I got a taxi to hospital where they decided to numb my toe and remove the nail. Unfortunately for me the numbing injection didn’t work. My toe was numb but could feel the nail being pulled the pain was awful.

So a Dr had the bright idea to get some gas and air from maternity. So yeah I had gas and air to have a toe nail removed. 😂😂😂It really was as much pain as giving birth. Took ages to grow back and still doesn’t look right

About 10 years ago, I put my then current knitting project down the side of the cushion on the sofa while I went to make a cup of tea. When I returned to the sofa I put my tea on the side table and plonked myself back down on the sofa.

Unfortunately, I sat on a knitting needle which went in my buttock near my back jeans pocket and came out near my front jeans pocket. It went straight through

It didn't hurt straight away.

I managed to get up and (I don't know why) went to the downstairs loo and pulled the knitting needle out (steel 4mm needle). It was agony - hurt 100 times more coming out. It dragged my skin and it was really tough to pull out.

I told my husband that I was going to nip to minor injuries - he said that I was as white as a sheet. He drove me there: I was sat on folded towels in the car.

I was fine - got a bit of iodine on each wound and small dressings. That was it. It just hurt when I walked for a couple of weeks.

I've never put knitting needles, pointing upwards, down the sides of sofas since then.

But thinking about it, I've been using exact same needles today whilst knitting some baby items for my daughter's friend.

More than 30 years ago I was dressing my two year old son on my bed. I was rushing because he had to be at playgroup for a certain time. I finished dressing him and asked him to jump up.

He did as he was told and bounced on the bed when he jumped up. His massive head hit me just in the right spot under my chin and the force lifted my feet off the floor and I was thrown backwards.

Spent the rest of the day in hospital with my newborn daughter (who I was breastfeeding) with a broken jaw which ended up needing a couple of procedures to fix. Totally my fault for rushing, and instructing my son to 'jump'.

I was really stoned, making fajitas, as you do.

Used a sharp steak knife to open the salsa pack and stabbed the skin in between my thumb and forefinger! I could see in to my hand, the red muscley bit like in those weird medical diagrams.

It's a toss up between:
A) Getting my toe stuck in the turn up of my trouser leg and spraining both my ankles.
B) Dropping a bottle of fabric softener on the floor and the liquid splashing back up into my eyes.
C) Falling over nothing in a shop and spraining my wrist.
D) Scalding my stomach with boiling pasta water when I poured it down the sink.

Ooh I also took a chunk out of my thumb! It was about 6 years ago. I was grating cheese and for some reason I didn't stop when I turned to talk to DW, and grated a part of my thumb off.
I now have an odd lump in that place where it healed over.

I once burned both my hands by absent mindedly grabbing the red hot oven try in the oven.

Not me exactly - DW was coming through with soup for us one lunchtime, tripped over the cat and in a panic I reached out to catch her from falling, and ended up covered in boiling hot soup. That one made me scream in agony. I ran into the shower, still fully dressed, and ended up with second (I think?) degree burns on my shoulders, chest, stomach, legs and feet. The blisters were the bane of my life for weeks.

Ooh I have another one! Had a bit of mould on our bathroom ceiling once and used the HG spray to get rid of it. Sprayed the ceiling whilst looking up.
Rinsing bleach out of your eyeballs isn't fun.

When I first began Shaving my legs I always ended up wirh cut thumbs. I thought nothing of running my thumb along the razor blade to get the hair off!

Stuck my toe into the tap while bathing and broke it getting it out. Hobbled about for weeks.

Opening a glass ampoule of an injectable medicine with a blade, sliced through most of my index finger, getting the blade lodged in the bone. This was over 40 years ago and the nerves never grew back, so I have no feeling in the tip of the finger.

Bit of a raunchy one: at 21 got bitten by a tick while having, shall we say, a good time with a guy in a garden, and got tick bite fever. Was off uni for weeks.

Emptying dishwasher, forgot I'd left oven door (hinged at bottom) open earlier. Walked purposefully to put something away and into the oven door at speed. Nearly passed out with the pain, oven door was mangled and had to be replaced, I had to stay on floor for quite a while to get my breath back. The entirety of both shins was cut and badly bruised all over. Looked awful and the pain was horrendous. Literally the only bit of me with no fat to cushion it! It was summer so as it took 4 months to fully heal I got a LOT of horrified comments as it all gradually changed colour.

Many years ago, sleep deprived me went for a night time wee in pitch black like I did every night. That night I somehow misjudged the distance from door to loo. Flumped down heavily, missed the loo, cracked my head HARD on the front of it, ended up sprawled on my back in tiny bathroom still in pitch black. Absolutely desperate for that wee by the time I managed to orientate myself enough to actually get up and sit on the loo! I had a massive bump on my head for weeks afterwards. Actually think I had concussion and ought to have got checked as I felt sick and dizzy. Went to sleep, woke up the next day feeling like death. Idiot. 😬

Many years ago DH and I took our DDs on holiday in our touring caravan. It was quite cold at night so I decided to give the girls hot water bottles which were in the bottom of the tall wardrobe, the door of which didn't reach down to the bottom of the cupboard. I fumbled around for the hotties and tried to pull them up (there were spare towels and blankets on top of them). I pulled and pulled and suddenly Wham!! They sprang out suddenly and I hit my nose hard. Four hours later at A&E the x-ray showed I had broken my own nose!!

Ouch, I feel for you. I did something similar, caught my nostril hard with one fingernail as I washed my face and it felt as if I’d ripped my nose open.

Also, when we’d just moved house, I bent down to see why the grill below the gas hob wasn’t lighting and — whooomp — a blast of flame set my hair on fire. I was lucky to still have eyebrows.

Sympathy to everyone else here!