To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

Putting my sunglasses on with car keys in hand. The glasses slipped and I poked and scratched my eyeball with a key. The pain was excruciating. I still occasionally feel the effects of it 20 years on.

Fell down one step outside a fab 60s house I was viewing. Mid shaft spiral fracture of humerus. Spent 7 months broken before they pinned it for me

Dislocated my knee playing a sport

Darts

I burnt my hand when I caught my falling hair straighteners on the iron bit 😵‍💫

stabbed through my hand separating frozen burgers

I heard somewhere separating frozen burgers and trying to slice through ‘ripe and ready to eat‘ avocados were common reasons for a trip to A&E.

Fractured my foot tripping over a shoe - ended up in a boot unable to drive for 6 weeks

Oh my goodness, my stomach hurts 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Noooo….!!!

Bending down to put my dog on his lead, he spotted another dog and shot off at speed with me still attached. Dislocated a finger and broke my back.

Cleaning my decking with the jet washer. Looked down to see that a huge spider had escaped the water by climbing up my leg. Without thinking I 'washed' it off taking a large chunk of flesh with it.

Relocating a cactus. Cactus slipped and fell and I instinctively grabbed it with both hands.
I was tweezering spikes out of my palms for days.

I have a lot of houseplants but will never let another cactus through my door.

Shut my thumb in the car door except I managed to place it so perfectly it was where the pin of the door lock is so the door not only flattened my nail, the pin went straight through it. Indescribable pain and rotten luck!

I am so sorry but that made me lol 😂

My mother is a nightmare for this kind of thing.

She was always a bit pissed by Christmas lunchtime back in the day and was taking the Yorkshire pudding tray out of the oven with the smoking hot oil in (ready for the pudding mixture) when the tray tipped and and she went to catch the hot oil in her cupped hand. Many layers of skin lost.

Landed face first in a Tiffany style lamp on the lounge table also whilst slightly pissed as she was running from the loo whilst pulling up her trousers to press record on a programme she wanted to tape (late 80's)

Got pulled up a kerb by the dog. Landed nose first againt a garden wall and sliced her nose off (I kid you not!) Spent many hours in plastic surgery and a week in hospital with her face entirely packed and bandaged.

Omg this thread makes me scared to live 😅

Tripped on a walk (completely flat and clear path) resulting in dislocated shoulder and fractured kneecap. 6 days in hospital and wires in my knee which often trigger alarms at airports.

I was shaving my armpit and I managed to nip my nipple with the razor., I almost passed out from the blood.
Another time the cotton bit of the cotton bud got stuck in my ear but I imagine that’s a more common one than my nipple! 😅

Yawned and dislocated my jaw.

Cut my hand when trying to mix a milkshake years ago by holding the handle of a china cup and covering the top.Handle broke and gashed my hand- still have the scar!

Jumped off my bed and landed on a 3pin plug socket...SO painful! And nasty injury to the side of my foot.

And (I didn't 'give myself' this technically) but my daughter caught me right in the eye with a spade at the beach last year resulting in a trip to A&E later that day in alot of pain with a corneal abrasion.

I am quite an accident prone person!
There will have been many more than I am remembering to write here....

Stood too near the car door when I opened it with gusto. Deep cut on my eyebrow, blood everywhere and now have a Harry Potter type scar. If I'd been an inch and a half taller I would have had my eye out.

Why just this week I was hoiking my bra up too enthusiastically I suppose; clenched hand slipped and I punched myself in the mouth splitting my lip.

I also did it with an avocado too
my GP goes pale when she sees me coming with “I don’t know how but what I did…”

This reminds me of the time we got locked out of our house, and DH managed to open the lounge window and lumber through it, only to land bum first onto one of my unsuspecting cacti! 🤣

Luckily he didn't damage it, as it's over 20 years old now so quite a relic! (And he was OK too other than afew prickles 🤭)

A head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety after.

The head injury was entirely avoidable and totally stupid. I was filming my eldest daughter when she was climbing up a wooden ladder of a children's play area/wooden tree house adventure type thing. I banged the top of my head on a wooden beam at the top of the ladder...

My DH still has the bloody awful video on his phone with me shouting "ow! Mummy's banged her head!" really loudly. I can still feel the impact of it watching the video back... it was absolutely horrendous having post concussion syndrome for nearly 8 months and it gave me a terrible breakdown. I've never been so ill.

As for the subsequent hell of the awful movement disorder I've lived with for a decade... don't ask. I've never really got over it or fully accepted it.💔😭

Omg! I think I would have automatically done the same....didn't realise Jet washers were so dangerous!