AIBU to expect relatives to learn to spell and use DDs name?

[Bella5C]

my Dd is almost 2. I am a single parent with grown up children as well. Dd doesn’t know her biological father. He’s not in the picture. However, his family are. They see her weekly/fortnightly or less if they’re on holiday or have medical issues.
Dd has an Irish spelt name. It’s probably one of the harder ones to spell/pronounce. I love it, I learned immediately how to spell it. I have no concerns that she will struggle. As far as I’m concerned once you know how to spell it, you know? People still spell my name and my grown up kids names wrong so I look at it like, with it being quite a unique name, you are going to learn it so you’re not getting it completely wrong.
my Issue is that her relatives (not mine) refuse to learn how to spell it and just refer to her as ‘the wee one’. I easily picked up on this in their texts and didn’t think too much of it. Accepted it really, but then, her Grandmother said to me ‘oh he (her partner) saw a woman holding a child at the end of the road and stopped and said he thought it was Bella5C and the wee one’
she obviously heard herself as she then said to me when leaving, I call her the wee one because I don’t know how to spell her name? AIBU to assume she doesn’t like her name and is refusing to use it? I can understand not spelling it in a text if you think you’ll spell it wrong but to not say her name out loud and use that excuse is surely, a load of crap? Just looking for opinions really, although I may eventually say something?

Buy dd a t-shirt or bag with her name.... Has she seen dd's name written down? Maybe she genuinely can't spell it and is too embarrassed to say..

I think 'wee one' etc is a lot more common than you might think and probably nothing to do with the name

Some Irish names are very hard to say. One friend's name I still can't say properly (sounds ok to me but apparently I'm doing it wrong). Maybe she's worried about getting it too wrong?

Write it in messages frequently so she sees it. They say it takes 9 times for most things to sink in (Gian Franco Conti, big language teacher guru, swears by this) Maybe they have no idea. If they still don’t use it, I’d politely ask them to learn it. How will/do they address her face to face?! Idid chuckle when my student teacher called a student ‘Neem’. I bet you can guess her Irish name!

Dd3 has an Irish name my mother never learbed how to spell it her dyslexia simply could not comprehend it.

I also think the wee one/little one is more a matter of endearment.

This is probably stupid but - She has heard you say her name? I assume it's something like Caoimhe. Has she heard you call her "Keeva" so she does know how to say it?

Really? Because my name is in my email address and signature of every email I send but still people spell it wrong.

Exactly, terms of endearment are the important thing as little ones.

Saying it and spelling it are two different things.

If she really wanted to say it/learn how to say it correctly she would. I understand why you’re annoyed OP, it is showing your DD from a young age that they can’t be bothered to learn her name simply because it’s unusual.

I refer to lots of children as ‘wee one’.

Covers all eventualities, zero risk of it being wrong.

More effort to learn and spell their young relatives name is what I would expect.

Yeah I could do that. I have written it in texts to her but maybe she’s just got used to saying ‘wee one’ that it’s just stuck? I’m just wondering what they say when they are speaking to her/ trying to get her attention? Do they use her name when they need to or not at all?

She defo knows how to say it yes, Dds cousins call her by her name.

That’s so lazy! I have a non-typical non-English name but initials only in my email, although I regularly sign off with my name within work. If people respond using the wrong name, I might politely correct them with it’s xxxx, btw, but only if I’m likely to be working with them. Do you ever correct them or is not worth it? I find it difficult to understand why people don’t replicate how you sign off.

I confess, next week I’m going to ask those who haven’t really had much to do with me to use my initials during our 3 day work thing.

Assume it's something like Caoimhe, Grainne, Saoirse or Sadhbh? They can get their heads round it if they try

She’s said that she doesn’t say it though because she can’t spell it. Also I didn’t react to her saying wee one. She offered that explanation of her own free will which has led to me overthinking it because if it was simply a term of endearment then why is she explaining herself?

But the granny said to the OP that she called her that because she can’t spell it. Bit strange when she must know how to say it, at least, as the cousins use it. Why wouldn’t you Google (assuming granny is IT literate)?

They should be trying. Do you use her name when you are there?

There are some names from my ethnic background that I don’t pronounce right and am embarrassed. I can actually hear the difference but because I didn’t grow up with it can’t say it. Luckily not close relatives but I avoid using the names as I know I sound stupid. ----

My cousin spells my name wrong still, and it's only got four letters! He also calls my mum by her maiden name when she's used her married name for 65 years!

I think they should know how to pronounce it for sure, but if it has a very unusual or Gaelic spelling then I'd let them off finding writing it correctly a bit tricky.

'The wee one' to me doesn't sound particularly horrible or condescending. I'd imagine it's a common phrase for small children.

I'm Scottish and my wee girl is addressed as "the wain" 90% of the time even by me and her dad 🤣 I don't think they don't like it, maybe they can't spell it though for messages but I don't get why they can't just Google it. I always double check spelling when writing anyone's name (even just looking at the parents Facebook) because I think it's rude to misspell someone's name. I have a name that is common enough but a different spelling and even family members still spell it wrong... People comment under my Facebook comments with the wrong spelling IT'S RIGHT THERE 🤣

Once you get past a certain age, the names of new youngsters in the family are guesswork every time.

Everyone else uses her name but also use nicknames etc as/when appropriate. My friend who is terrible at spelling has learnt to spell it and will write it.
I suppose I just think it’s coming across as a lack of effort and there’s obviously other reasons to support that. Will see what gets written on her birthday cards!

My DD’s grandmothers spells her name wrong a lot. I wouldn’t mind but we went with the arabic spelling to honour that side of her heritage. Its not even that hard, 5 letters. I did realise though when I named her that, that people would spell it wrong as the English version has one letter less, and that’s how most people in the UK spell it. You’d expect her grandparents would get it right, but they don’t!

This is how I feel yeah